What is wrong with me !!???

[Worrywart528]

Here is my day today. Wake up and feel stressed out about skin cancer. Go into the bathroom and brush my teeth... taking notice of every single mole on my body. As usual I find numerous spots that get my heart racing.

I then obsess about how much sun I got growing up. I obsess about all the times at the beach and at the pool. I obsess about the stupid tanning bed use in my early 20's. I obsess about playing golf some days for 6-8 hours.

I then grab my coffee and sit down at the computer. I start googling skin cancer... doesn't matter what kind, squamas, basal, melanoma... I then read endless horror stories and my mood and anxiety heightens.

I read stories about people having hundreds of surgeries for their basal cell and squamas cell cancers and imagine myself having to do this the rest of my life... I also get stressed out thinking about how many days off work I will need to use the chemo cream on my sun damaged spots... my mood worsens even more.

I then read about melanoma risks. It appears the only thing I have going for me is I have dark brown hair and skin that tans. I obsess over the fitzpatrick scale and wonder if I am fitzpatrick 2 or 3... I look at pictures of myself when I was younger ( before I got alot of sun exposure) I find some of me looking slightly olive and others in the dead of winter where I look pale. So my anxiety heightens even more I then read that having an actinic keratosis raises the risk ( still do not know whats on my nose), Having over 50 moles raises the risk, having more than 5 atypical moles raises the risk, having sun burns as a kid raises the risk, using a tanning bed raises the risk..... I suddenly realize... The only three things I have going for me are no one in my family has ever had melanoma, I have dark brown hair and usually tan pretty well.... So In my mind melanoma is about to pop out at any second. I am now in full blown panic mode and my last day of the weekend is entirely ruined again.

I would give anything to be normal and just enjoy a day off. :scared15:

[daisyflower]

Living increases the risk. We are all at risk but most people won't get it. Even most people who have lived in a hot country with daily sun exposure won't get it, or the people who spent 10 years baking on sun beds.
Things like that happen slowly...remind yourself that so that there is no need to focus on it daily so you can 'spot something.' Set yourself small goals... Say you won't think about it tomorrow but you will think about it the day after. This will help give your mind a rest. You can slowly extend the time you don't think about it until hopefully you will forget for most of the time. We all get weird skin things and everyone gets itchy or flaky or scabby or sore moles now and again but people without health anxiety will think, 'if that's still looking in a week or two, I'll get it checked out.'
Hope you find a way to manage your anxiety soon and get back to feeling happy

[uru]

Skin cancer was one of my first anxieties. I had it mainly when I was around 17/18. I would inspect and check moles and often go to the doctors. The last time I went was 2010 with a mole. Also in 1999 I actually had a mole, which was bleeding, removed. It was benign.

Your thread just made me realise that actually, contrary to what I thought, I have been living with this for quite a long time.

[Worrywart528]

Than you guys, It is reassuring to hear from people who are rational!

URU, I had a cycle of skin cancer worries around 2006. This was during my tanning days and golfing days and I started to pay attention to my moles. My first dermatologist patted me on the back... said everything looks good and removed a seborhic keratosis. I did not return to the derm until this July and the only reason was because I noticed a mole on my fore arm.

Man did I make a mistake.... I do not know if doctor's realize how powerful their words are. I had no changes in my moles since that 2006 visit and this dermatologist Made me feel like death was imminent. She wanted moles removed ASAP biopsies done... I left there and started googling. Then that bump popped up on my nose in August and I went to see her again in October. " oh my, this is not good" " this is an actinic keratosis your body has suffered DNA damage from the sun and we need to get that off" I almost puked ! I should have went to a different doctor from the start. The second dermatologist looked me over and said everything looks good. I would like to see you in a year.

I know this sounds absolutely crazy but it it possible that the first dermatologist was trying to rack up extra business ? She works in a small private practice and I have great insurance. The second dermatologist works in large medical network and is paid salary?

[uru]

oh my, this is not good" " this is an actinic keratosis your body has suffered DNA damage from the sun and we need to get that off" I almost puked ! I should have went to a different doctor from the start. The second dermatologist looked me over and said everything looks good. I would like to see you in a year.

What do you call the medical student who qualifies bottom of the class?

[Worrywart528]

What do you call the medical student who qualifies bottom of the class?


That is so true !!!! I should have listened to my fiance. She went to this same doctor a few years back about some acne issues. This doctor prescribed her some prescription medication. She was having all sorts of stomach issues and went to her general practitioner. The GP almost passed out ! The drug she prescribed was part of a class action lawsuit for stomach bleeds and stomach cancer. Thankfully she did not take the medication long.

I'm the idiot for not listening !