Jjjj1
03-12-15, 14:20
i,
Im 35 and a single parent. Ive had depression for as long as i can remember, but have never taken anything for it.
5 years ago i started having panic attacks, the first one was whilst driving and i had no idea what it was, then i started getting them randomly at home for no reason. I stopped driving, and wouldnt go shopping as i didnt like standing in line. I ended up getting a prescription for Citalopran ( which i never took), and propranolol which i did take. I cant remember much about how i got over them, but they just stopped and i almost had forgotten i ever had them.
I had a job earlier this year, which only lasted a month, but i was fine dealing with people and everything, i never even thought about panic attacks at all.
Then i had to sign back on jsa, and start attending work programme interviews, which was all fine, was totally ok not even nervous going to appointments.
At one appointment, the window was open right where i was sat and there was a bee buzzing around like it might come in ( im terrified of bees), and it sounds really silly but this triggered off an attack for me. I started feeling dizzy, light headed like i was going to faint, and all i could think was ' ive got to get out of here' . I was going to try and force myself to sit through it, but my adviser noticed and asked me if i needed to leave, which i did, and havent been back since due to being scared of it happening again. I am meant to have regular appointments with the work programme, but they havent been in touch with me at all, and when the people at the job centre ask me if im still going i say yes, which i feel terrible about. I had a panic attack at the job centre whilst waiting to sign on, and since then i dread going there. If i have to sit down and talk to someone i immediately feel like i need to stand up and get away, i feel like i cant sit down and just be normal. I hate having to go there, and really need to be earning some money. Since having the panic attack, i get really anxious in any situations where i have to wait, traffic lights, waiting for my child to get their hair cut etc. i had a brief appointment at the drs but i got out of there as fast as i could, with another prescription for propranolol, which i havent taken yet.
Sorry for such a long post to anyone thats read this, but i am wondering if i should apply for esa so i dont have to face the stress of the job centre? I want to just feel normal again and i do force myself to do things instead of running away, but i hate going to the job centre i absolutely dread going and build it up in my head so much. Thanks for any advice
Im 35 and a single parent. Ive had depression for as long as i can remember, but have never taken anything for it.
5 years ago i started having panic attacks, the first one was whilst driving and i had no idea what it was, then i started getting them randomly at home for no reason. I stopped driving, and wouldnt go shopping as i didnt like standing in line. I ended up getting a prescription for Citalopran ( which i never took), and propranolol which i did take. I cant remember much about how i got over them, but they just stopped and i almost had forgotten i ever had them.
I had a job earlier this year, which only lasted a month, but i was fine dealing with people and everything, i never even thought about panic attacks at all.
Then i had to sign back on jsa, and start attending work programme interviews, which was all fine, was totally ok not even nervous going to appointments.
At one appointment, the window was open right where i was sat and there was a bee buzzing around like it might come in ( im terrified of bees), and it sounds really silly but this triggered off an attack for me. I started feeling dizzy, light headed like i was going to faint, and all i could think was ' ive got to get out of here' . I was going to try and force myself to sit through it, but my adviser noticed and asked me if i needed to leave, which i did, and havent been back since due to being scared of it happening again. I am meant to have regular appointments with the work programme, but they havent been in touch with me at all, and when the people at the job centre ask me if im still going i say yes, which i feel terrible about. I had a panic attack at the job centre whilst waiting to sign on, and since then i dread going there. If i have to sit down and talk to someone i immediately feel like i need to stand up and get away, i feel like i cant sit down and just be normal. I hate having to go there, and really need to be earning some money. Since having the panic attack, i get really anxious in any situations where i have to wait, traffic lights, waiting for my child to get their hair cut etc. i had a brief appointment at the drs but i got out of there as fast as i could, with another prescription for propranolol, which i havent taken yet.
Sorry for such a long post to anyone thats read this, but i am wondering if i should apply for esa so i dont have to face the stress of the job centre? I want to just feel normal again and i do force myself to do things instead of running away, but i hate going to the job centre i absolutely dread going and build it up in my head so much. Thanks for any advice