nemoanon
04-12-15, 03:54
I've never posted on a site like this before, but I feel like I'm going nuts. I have had agoraphobia, social phobia and depression for 11 years. I left school because of it. My sister did the exact same 5 years before. We have masses of relatives, not one of whom gives a f***. We have no one.
Problem is, our parents are abusers and we are trapped. We're locked in a cycle of abuse and fear. I desperately want a job and friends and a life, but I can see no way out.
My dad (if I can call him that) is a psychopath and he emotionally and financially abuses me, my sister and my mum. Occasionally, if we've been good girls, we get physical abuse too. In front of anyone else he's an angel.
I don't know what my mum is, but she doesn't seem to give a s***. I don't know if she was always like this, but I do know she was abused herself as a child. I think that's why my dad married her. Anyway, now she takes an active part in the abuse. Her speciality is gaslighting.
I feel like I'm going to explode if I don't tell someone, but I don't see how I can. There's no help - you are expected to get out yourself. How can I? I'm too scared to answer the f***ing door. I don't think anyone will believe me.
If I do tell someone, they have to report it, don't they? Which means getting the police involved. They are not going to believe us over him, full stop. And then my dad will know what I've done and the problem will get about a billion times worse.
I feel desperate/angry/frustrated/scared. I am shaking just writing this. Sorry for the ranting/raving.
PS Am I allowed to swear here? I really want to swear.
Problem is, our parents are abusers and we are trapped. We're locked in a cycle of abuse and fear. I desperately want a job and friends and a life, but I can see no way out.
My dad (if I can call him that) is a psychopath and he emotionally and financially abuses me, my sister and my mum. Occasionally, if we've been good girls, we get physical abuse too. In front of anyone else he's an angel.
I don't know what my mum is, but she doesn't seem to give a s***. I don't know if she was always like this, but I do know she was abused herself as a child. I think that's why my dad married her. Anyway, now she takes an active part in the abuse. Her speciality is gaslighting.
I feel like I'm going to explode if I don't tell someone, but I don't see how I can. There's no help - you are expected to get out yourself. How can I? I'm too scared to answer the f***ing door. I don't think anyone will believe me.
If I do tell someone, they have to report it, don't they? Which means getting the police involved. They are not going to believe us over him, full stop. And then my dad will know what I've done and the problem will get about a billion times worse.
I feel desperate/angry/frustrated/scared. I am shaking just writing this. Sorry for the ranting/raving.
PS Am I allowed to swear here? I really want to swear.