Live for Today

[DaveCH]

My close friend who lives round the corner from me was killed in a road accident yesterday. I was talking to him yesterday morning as we where leaving our kids to the school bus and we where talking about another friend who had a bad accident and was recovering well. His last words to me as he knows my health anxiety issues where Dave enjoy every day because we really don't know what is round the corner. 1.5 hours later he was killed by a reckless driver 1 mile from where we live. He has left a wife and a son aged 12 who is my sons best friend and a daughter aged 8. It really has made me realise I am so sick of worrying my life away. I am completely devastated and really cant get my head round this. Life is so unfair. My wife has been at there house since yesterday comforting his wife. How does a family recover from this. My point is I know we all have a mental illness and struggle to control our thoughts but we really do have to live each day as if it is our last and enjoy as much as we can because the reality is we are all going to die and we don't know when so no point worrying about it.His kids where like they where mine and vice versa so I will do everything to help raise his kids but I just cant believe this has happened.

[Movielife]

Oh no, that is terrible news. Best wishes to the family.


It does make you think 'why am I like this'.


When the Paris attacks happened, I thought 'these people have either been killed, injured, or luckily unhurt, but the effects on everyone and on those who survived must be terrible'.


Imagine going through the attack, surviving, and then dealing with that for the rest of your life? Or worse, being someone who is related to a person that was killed.


I hate the way I worry the day away. I absolutely hate what anxiety/health anxiety has done to me. Even today, I worried about floaters in my eye. I've had them for years. Before anxiety properly took a hold of me, I never cared.


Now I'm analysing how I look at things. Are my eyes ok? I had a checkup with my GP/ENT/Optician, and the Optician even took photos of the rear of my eyes...as part of a checkup. No problems. Still worried.


We can't help it but we must all BEAT it.

[uru]

I firmly believe it's some kind of chemical imbalance in the brain. I don't see how it can be anything else. Things that didn't worry me at all a year ago terrify me now. Things that terrified me a year ago seem insignificant now.

My grandmother has dementia and it's in the final stages. She hallucinates frequently and has massive anxiety. You can see her just looking around listening to other people's conversations, worrying about this and that....it's constant.

I really don't want to end my life in that way. Seems like nothing but torture.

[daisyflower]

That's awful Dave. Sometimes it takes a tragedy like that to really shift things in your mind and help you recover. I think you owe it to him to honour his last wish for you and follow it through. It will be the best thing you've ever done. I believe there's a purpose in everything and it was fate that he said that to you that morning. He doesn't have his life now, which is so so unfair and awful...but you do. Do it for him, you've nothing to lose and everything to gain

[jimsmrs]

Sorry about the loss of your friend.

His family has to just take each day as it comes and with you and your wife's support, they will get there, bring her GP in if necessary, not just for her, but for the kids aswell also Bereavement Counselling may help everyone, even you and your family.

Life is unfair and this tragedy shows how things can change so quickly.

sending you hugs :hugs::hugs:

[DaveCH]

Thanks all it is so hard to take in. His son hasn't spoken and just keeps taking everything out and putting back in with his dads wallet and there was a receipt in the wallet of a framed Ferrari that he had bought him for xmas. His wife is sedated and hasn't been able to get out of bed. We and the family will all stick together and get through this somehow I don't know how but we will. Its a great little community we live in where everyone helps each other.

[debs71]

That is terrible. I am very sorry for your loss, Dave.

Horrendous and unexpected things such as this do make you think about how fragile life is. One day here and then gone the next. It is frightening, humbling and very thought provoking.

When I was nursing I used to sometimes think that I am so lucky to be leaving work to go home, and not seriously ill and stuck 24/7 in hospital like the children I used to nurse, and their families. We take so much for granted and don't consider just how lucky we are in a lot of ways.

I think it is hard with anxiety though. Despite the fact we deep down know that our worrying is wasting so much of our lives away, it has it's vice-like grip regardless, but awful and sudden events do put things in perspective.

:hugs::hugs:

[itoldyouiwasill]

A terrible turn of events and yep it does highlight just how fragile life can be. In some ways this shows the folly and madness of health anxiety as we get so fixated on trying to CONTROL (caps for emphasis) all the aspects of our health we forget we are really just a careless driver etc away from possible death anyway. Sort of semi related to that is the number of health anxiety sufferers who actually carry out behaviours that are know to be bad for their health but do them whilst still fearing for their health...it is a deep and dark psychological pit of vipers for sure.

Over the last 5 years I have experienced a few incidents similar to the one you have mentioned...these seem to get more common as we age and death becomes more a picture on are radar, and one thing I've always noticed is that we often initially use the experience to realise that we must embrace and celebrate life as we are not really guaranteed anything BUT this feeling is so goddam fleeting. Even without health anxiety after a few days of realising how lucky we are to have out lives we start to slip back into the same patterns of worrying about the bills and screaming at the driver who just cut in front of us at the traffic lights. Yep, you do occasionally meet some pretty chilled out Zen like people who just seem to go with the flow and who are of course a joy to be around but I always find it so hard to recapture that feeling of loving life once the scrape with adversity is over.

Once again sorry for your loss and its great to hear your community will be looking out for his young family. So sad.

[itoldyouiwasill]

You couldn't really make it up but a family we know has also just been dealt a terrible blow. The father who is 43 and his 7 year old lad have been killed crossing a road near us after being hit by a car...they have left a mother and young daughter. Didn't know them really well but it sure hits home, not at ages far off me and my lad. The weirdest and most unsettling thing is seeing their Facebook updates from like yesterday without a care in the world and without an inkling as to what was to befall him. It really is strange how humans have this innate ability to somehow assume we are guaranteed our three score and ten when the reality is that through a variety of scenarios over which we have no control our situation can change in the blink of an eye.

[ray.olsen]

Hey :weep:

I'm so sorry to hear about that awful news :ohmy:. That's really devastating and shocking. I do hope that his family and friends are able to handle the situation well. Unfortunately that is what life is. It's the mystery of not knowing when to go that makes life what it is. You're right, death is inevitable so we must treasure every breath and live our life to the fullest.