View Full Version : In serious need of help :/ (Please reply)
Hi,
I'm really scared of my mum having cancer. She's an ex-smoker and has had this cough since Feb. It went when she gave up about a month ago (sort of, but it did still hang around but it wasn't so bad) but then she had a few cigarettes a few weeks after and then she started coughing a lot again, more than usual. But now she's switched to vaping and she's not coughing that much.. but last night she was a bit. She did see a doctor who listened to her chest with a stethoscope and he said it sounded all fine.. but that was a month ago and I'm scared it's grown or something.. I think this cough may be a smokers cough but I don't know anymore.. this is really destroying me. I'm OBSESSED with her health.. it was my health at one point but then I kinda fixated onto my mum and I know I'm being irrational. When she coughs a lot she does cough up tiny pinpricks of blood but I know this is just from bursting blood vessels in the throat or wherever.. but my mind tells me that this is a symptom and I CAN'T SHAKE THAT OFF. I try and be positive but I have this horrible dark cloud looming over me and I'm sick of it, sometimes I'm actually reduced to tears UGH. I am seeing someone about it but even that doesn't help that much, our next session is in a week or two. She's not fatigued, but does work a lot and gets up super early so she has a 30 minute nap daily (not every day, most days) and she has to deal with me worrying constantly, badgering her. She told me she has been pretty stressed out by me actually and I feel really bad, sometimes she doesn't feel like eating because I stress her out and make her anxious because I'm always asking her questions, checking her temperature but she's started eating more now and I think that's gone back to normal. NOTHING convinces me she's okay and it's horrible, I was up crying last night.. my mum is trying to help me and so is my dad (who I don't live with) but nothing ever works.. well it can do rarely and temporarily but I usually go back to my usual state of worrry. And if the cancers this advanced it's causing a cough wouldn't the doctor have picked that up with a stethoscope.. surely, but you know that just doesn't sink in with me:weep:
I just really need some kind of reassurance that she's not dying, I don't want to spend my Christmas worrying and in a state.. this time last year I was alright and I really enjoyed it. I'm honestly at my breaking point here..
Toby (please reply??)
EDIT: The cough is dry.
---------- Post added at 22:59 ---------- Previous post was at 22:38 ----------
Someone help me please :(
The body goes through various stages after quitting tobacco. It takes many months and even years to return to pre-smoking status. That being said, the fact that she just quit smoking and has a cough is not unusual as her body is ridding itself of toxins. A cough is normal.
One thing that would help you and help your Mom would be getting help with your anxiety. I know the school nurse was supposed to be doing something but you've not posted about it so I have to imagine nothing is happening on that front. Having you stronger and not stressing her out would be very beneficial. As I and others have suggested before, print out your threads and take them to your parents, a family member or school counselor and ask for help. That would be the best possible thing to help all involved.
Positive thoughts
The body goes through various stages after quitting tobacco. It takes many months and even years to return to pre-smoking status. That being said, the fact that she just quit smoking and has a cough is not unusual as her body is ridding itself of toxins. A cough is normal.
One thing that would help you and help your Mom would be getting help with your anxiety. I know the school nurse was supposed to be doing something but you've not posted about it so I have to imagine nothing is happening on that front. Having you stronger and not stressing her out would be very beneficial. As I and others have suggested before, print out your threads and take them to your parents, a family member or school counselor and ask for help. That would be the best possible thing to help all involved.
Positive thoughts
But what if the cough doesn't produce phlegm? My mum's is dry and I know a smokers cough is wet and this one sometimes happens in the day but isn't constant :weep:
I will do and I went to a Children's Center in October for support and I'm seeing them again in a week or so.
I know it sucks to worry about a loved one. I'm actually dealing with that now as my parents are having real health issues. All we can do is be supportive and strong for them.
I really don't know what anyone could say to reassure you Toby. Based on your history it doesn't help to quell your fears. There's nothing pointing to a serious health issue with your Mom and it's your anxiety that's making a mountain out of a molehill. I'm actually more concerned about you tbh. You've been struggling for such a long time.
I'm glad to hear you went to a children's support center. What date is the next appointment? What happened in October? What did they say? Are they going to set up regular visits/appointments?
Positive thoughts
I know it sucks to worry about a loved one. I'm actually dealing with that now as my parents are having real health issues. All we can do is be supportive and strong for them.
I really don't know what anyone could say to reassure you Toby. Based on your history it doesn't help to quell your fears. There's nothing pointing to a serious health issue with your Mom and it's your anxiety that's making a mountain out of a molehill. I'm actually more concerned about you tbh. You've been struggling for such a long time.
I'm glad to hear you went to a children's support center. What date is the next appointment? What happened in October? What did they say? Are they going to set up regular visits/appointments?
Positive thoughts
There's nothing pointing to a serious health condition? That's good to hear, deep down I know I'm being stupid but I can't shake this worry off.. would something have been picked up with a stethoscope if there was something wrong? Some days the cough is better, some days it's worse. Does that indicate there's nothing wrong by itself, because wouldn't it stay the same with a tumor? Idk anymore
It's on the 14th and what happened was they spoke to me about how I was feeling etc and I said I'm obsessed with health/my mums health and they said to stay off google but obviously I didn't listen because it's impossible to not seek online reassurance. They also explained a bit about the viscous cycle etc
It's on the 14th and what happened was they spoke to me about how I was feeling etc and I said I'm obsessed with health/my mums health and they said to stay off google but obviously I didn't listen because it's impossible to not seek online reassurance. They also explained a bit about the viscous cycle etc
If you really want to help your Mom and yourself, here's what you do. Most browsers have parental controls that enable one to block websites. If it doesn't, there are apps that allow you to do that. Ask your Mom to go in and block Google and other sites (including here IMO) so you can't browse and feed your anxiety. They're password protected so you won't be able to get around it.
Do it for her and most of all, do it for you. Good luck at the next appointment. I hope they set you up for regular visits. You're a good kid Toby. You deserve to be happy and enjoy your life free of worry.
Positive thoughts
If you really want to help your Mom and yourself, here's what you do. Most browsers have parental controls that enable one to block websites. If it doesn't, there are apps that allow you to do that. Ask your Mom to go in and block Google and other sites (including here IMO) so you can't browse and feed your anxiety. They're password protected so you won't be able to get around it.
Do it for her and most of all, do it for you. Good luck at the next appointment. I hope they set you up for regular visits. You're a good kid Toby. You deserve to be happy and enjoy your life free of worry.
Positive thoughts
Thanks:) but I don't think I'd be able to do that. I'm hoping these sessions will help bring me to sense. Would a stethoscope pick up abnormalities?
Does anyone know? Would a stethoscope pick up any lung problems?
Does anyone know? Would a stethoscope pick up any lung problems?
Toby can you see, by reading back over this thread what you're doing?
Can you see a pattern in your behaviour?
Toby can you see, by reading back over this thread what you're doing?
Can you see a pattern in your behaviour?
What do you mean?
A cough is normal.
But what if the cough doesn't produce phlegm?
really don't know what anyone could say to reassure you Toby. Based on your history it doesn't help to quell your fears.
would something have been picked up with a stethoscope if there was something wrong?
if you really want to help your Mom and yourself, here's what you do
I don't think I'd be able to do that. Would a stethoscope pick up abnormalities?
Does anyone know? Would a stethoscope pick up any lung problems?
I hope i don't sound patronising but is it clear now?
I do understand but I can't help it :weep: Does anyone know the answer to my question?
The answer is -trust your doctor! :D
If there was a serious problem they would have asked for more tests.
So they would have picked up anything serious for sure
I just felt her forehead and it feels like she has a fever. Oh god. Not sure how to react:ohmy:
Why did you feel her forehead?
Because I have to check she's ok all the time:weep:that's how bad I worry.
But you're not checking she's OK. She can tell you that. You're looking for something to be wrong.
Have you tried going in that chat room here? I'm sure some people could reassure you.
Sitting here, on line waiting for responses is not helping you in the least Toby. Do you play video games or have hobbies that can help distract you? I suggest you find something to distract you.
Positive thoughts
But you're not checking she's OK. She can tell you that. You're looking for something to be wrong.
Have you tried going in that chat room here? I'm sure some people could reassure you.
But surely she'd just lie about it to make me feel better and I may join :)
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