Bonnibelle
07-12-15, 14:24
Feeling a tad lost and could do with some guidance.
I've had anxiety on and off the last few years which athe first was triggered after some stress in my life and it manifested as panic attacks and agoraphobia. Things got better then I was floored with intrusive thoughts. That improved and suddenly after a period of high stress with my son being bullied I had a huge panic attack at the doctors. Since then I have struggled with my agoraphobia again. Then recently my son became so low after the bullying he was having crippling panic attacks, school were supportive but camhs refused to help him and I was told to handle it myself. Well it became too much leaving my crying child mid panic attack in reception making him go to school and I broke down myself. 2 weeks ago my anxiety became crippling and I was bed bound. My gp came out to see me. When i walked I felt the floor was moving and I felt weak all over. He told me I had severe stress that had triggered these symptoms and they had triggered my anxiety. I had a rest for a week but was terrifiedoing i had a brain tumour and surely anxiety could not cause me to feel so ill. I felt the floor moving every step and so dizzy in my head. Things improved last week. I stopped sitting down and avoiding walking and did my best to believe it was just anxiety and thankfully it improved as the days went by. Until this weekend I didn't get much sleep and my ibs flared up. Yesterday I was feeling weak in my legs and the walking on a boat feeling returned, which made me fearful again.
I ended up upset to my hubby saying what if i become bed bound like 2 weeks ago? What if i feel that bad again? What's wrong with me?
Today I feel shaken. I know I'm dwelling too much on how bad I felt 2 weeks ago. I'm worried about how I feel feel. My anxiety has never been physical like this so I am afraid. Every day I feel like my legs are weak, exhausted, like everything around me is distant or like I am not even there or hazy. I feel constantly like my tummy is churning and generally weak and ill feeling. I'm not having panic attacks or extremely high anxiety all day. Can anxiety still cause symptoms like I'm feeling without being in a panic state?
I feel low because of it. Afraid to walk round..then I feel a total useless mother and wife. It's affected my agoraphobia again since feeling weak againnxietyround unsteady on my feet so I feel my life has been taken from me again. I worry I am letting my children down and it's chriistmas soon and will I ruin it for everyone or even just for myself. I see other mums on my Facebook taking kids out on Christmas type days out and there's me feeling like this.
I've read a book on health anxiety this weekend and it gave me good advice but I didn't fit a lot of it. I don't worry I have cancer or anything like that but yes I have physical feelings I do worry it's a brain tumour with the dizziness... I jump to worst case. I have noticed lately every physical feeling makes me anxious is it a stroke, a tumour.... but I don't check for lumps or rashes or anything. So the book was kind of helpful. It gave me ideas to do exposure homework and to note my goals and then set activities to do daily to restart hobbies and fill time but a lot of it too said to list when brooding what you brood about and a tally chart how often you check or seek reassurance and I know those things aren't needed because it's giving anxiety attention.
So I feel lost. I feel I am a mess and a total let down. I had improved so much and life was amazing and gain then since seeing my son struggling my world turned upside down. My gp said it's no wonder my anxiety flared up again because I have felt so worried and stressed. Now though my anxiety is now so physical and I panic every time I feel like I'm walking on a boat, I feel weak and inside shaken and my eyes are blurry. Is this really anxiety ? I've read Claire Weeke and At last a life and it's all great advice that I need to accept how I feel and carry on but I can't seem to not be afraid of how I feel. Especially the walking on a boat feeling.
My gp said it's general anxiety but also health anxiety. I've had cbt before and found it useful I just can't seem to apply it to this as I feel so bewildered.
Sorry to his got long. Any advice appreciated.
B x
I've had anxiety on and off the last few years which athe first was triggered after some stress in my life and it manifested as panic attacks and agoraphobia. Things got better then I was floored with intrusive thoughts. That improved and suddenly after a period of high stress with my son being bullied I had a huge panic attack at the doctors. Since then I have struggled with my agoraphobia again. Then recently my son became so low after the bullying he was having crippling panic attacks, school were supportive but camhs refused to help him and I was told to handle it myself. Well it became too much leaving my crying child mid panic attack in reception making him go to school and I broke down myself. 2 weeks ago my anxiety became crippling and I was bed bound. My gp came out to see me. When i walked I felt the floor was moving and I felt weak all over. He told me I had severe stress that had triggered these symptoms and they had triggered my anxiety. I had a rest for a week but was terrifiedoing i had a brain tumour and surely anxiety could not cause me to feel so ill. I felt the floor moving every step and so dizzy in my head. Things improved last week. I stopped sitting down and avoiding walking and did my best to believe it was just anxiety and thankfully it improved as the days went by. Until this weekend I didn't get much sleep and my ibs flared up. Yesterday I was feeling weak in my legs and the walking on a boat feeling returned, which made me fearful again.
I ended up upset to my hubby saying what if i become bed bound like 2 weeks ago? What if i feel that bad again? What's wrong with me?
Today I feel shaken. I know I'm dwelling too much on how bad I felt 2 weeks ago. I'm worried about how I feel feel. My anxiety has never been physical like this so I am afraid. Every day I feel like my legs are weak, exhausted, like everything around me is distant or like I am not even there or hazy. I feel constantly like my tummy is churning and generally weak and ill feeling. I'm not having panic attacks or extremely high anxiety all day. Can anxiety still cause symptoms like I'm feeling without being in a panic state?
I feel low because of it. Afraid to walk round..then I feel a total useless mother and wife. It's affected my agoraphobia again since feeling weak againnxietyround unsteady on my feet so I feel my life has been taken from me again. I worry I am letting my children down and it's chriistmas soon and will I ruin it for everyone or even just for myself. I see other mums on my Facebook taking kids out on Christmas type days out and there's me feeling like this.
I've read a book on health anxiety this weekend and it gave me good advice but I didn't fit a lot of it. I don't worry I have cancer or anything like that but yes I have physical feelings I do worry it's a brain tumour with the dizziness... I jump to worst case. I have noticed lately every physical feeling makes me anxious is it a stroke, a tumour.... but I don't check for lumps or rashes or anything. So the book was kind of helpful. It gave me ideas to do exposure homework and to note my goals and then set activities to do daily to restart hobbies and fill time but a lot of it too said to list when brooding what you brood about and a tally chart how often you check or seek reassurance and I know those things aren't needed because it's giving anxiety attention.
So I feel lost. I feel I am a mess and a total let down. I had improved so much and life was amazing and gain then since seeing my son struggling my world turned upside down. My gp said it's no wonder my anxiety flared up again because I have felt so worried and stressed. Now though my anxiety is now so physical and I panic every time I feel like I'm walking on a boat, I feel weak and inside shaken and my eyes are blurry. Is this really anxiety ? I've read Claire Weeke and At last a life and it's all great advice that I need to accept how I feel and carry on but I can't seem to not be afraid of how I feel. Especially the walking on a boat feeling.
My gp said it's general anxiety but also health anxiety. I've had cbt before and found it useful I just can't seem to apply it to this as I feel so bewildered.
Sorry to his got long. Any advice appreciated.
B x