RaineJo
07-12-15, 19:39
I am sorry in advance but this may be long.
I am 28 years old and I have been experiencing panic attacks on and off since 2007, however, they have become really bad since the birth of my son a year and a half ago. I am now pregnant with my second child and was referred to a reproductive psychologist (waiting on my appointment with the reproductive psychiatrist). However, now it seems like the doctors are beginning to question/disagree on what exactly is wrong with me and my previous psychologist no longer feels comfortable treating me until she is sure I actually have panic disorder (the reproductive psychologist wants me to see a neurologist and my doctor is not sure if it is necessary).
One of the weird things about my panic attacks is that they always start out when I am most calm and during periods of my life that are very low stress. In fact, I never have an attack when I am feeling anxious. It is almost like having anxiety helps keep them at bay. They always start with a very surreal feeling of intense calm. Everything feels so intensely calm that I feel like I am almost not living anymore. When these feelings start, I start to depersonalize. It feels like my body/mind splits into 3 distinct entities. There is the part of me that I still control, then there is my thoughts/mind, and there is my body. I can hear myself thinking thoughts, but the part of me that is conscious does not remember thinking them. I no longer feel connected to my body. I want to scream for someone to help me, but I no longer feel like I can move my mouth to speak (often times when I try it will come out as a groan). If I concentrate hard enough I can sometimes make myself say something, but it is usually limited to a few words and they don’t always come out the way I intended. For instance, when I am in this state and my husband asks me a simple yes or no question sometimes I will not answer him correctly(but I will think that I did). I feel like if I try to stand up my legs will buckle underneath me because I do not have control over my body. My heart feels like it stops completely. If I were to try to read a sentence I would not understand what it says and if someone tried to talk to me, I would not necessarily know what they are saying. When I am in this state, this is when the panic kicks in (although since it happens a lot I don’t know that I necessarily always feel scared, I simply ride out the sensation). I have read about other people’s experiences with depersonalization and although their experience sounds similar, it seems like the still are capable of carrying on with life they just don’t feel connected. I am literally not able to function when I am in this state. All I can do is lie down and wait for the feeling to pass.
Other panic attack symptoms that will eventually kick in include, feeling short of breath, having sweaty palms, feeling like I have to pee, numbness in my extremities, and sometimes shaking. My panic attacks last for 10-30 mins and then I will feel completely wiped out afterwards. It takes me 3-4 hours to fully recover.
When I go through intense episodes where I am having panic attacks 5-6 times a day, I end up feeling extremely confused between attacks. I have a hard time following conversations and simple instructions. I have to concentrate really hard to understand what people are saying. It is almost like I everyone is speaking another language in which I am barely fluent. I also have found myself forgetting how to do simple tasks like taking the car seat out of the car.
The weird thing though is that when they tweak my meds, it seems to help for a couple months and then the episodes come back in full force. I currently take 20 mg Cipralex and 0.25 mg of clonazepam (although my doctor will be talking to the reproductive psychiatrist for instructions since I am 24 weeks pregnant). I have done lots of cognitive behavioural therapy and I have done 12 sessions of neurofeedback. I would say that my general stress level is extremely low at the moment and the only thing that is really bothering me is that no one can agree on the best way to help me.
So after all that, does this sound atypical for panic disorder or do any of you have similar experiences? Do you think the reproductive psychologist is right and that I should go for a neurologist consult? Can anyone recommend any other treatment options/therapies?
I would like to work proactively towards some solutions but at the moment I am at a bit of a dead end.
I am 28 years old and I have been experiencing panic attacks on and off since 2007, however, they have become really bad since the birth of my son a year and a half ago. I am now pregnant with my second child and was referred to a reproductive psychologist (waiting on my appointment with the reproductive psychiatrist). However, now it seems like the doctors are beginning to question/disagree on what exactly is wrong with me and my previous psychologist no longer feels comfortable treating me until she is sure I actually have panic disorder (the reproductive psychologist wants me to see a neurologist and my doctor is not sure if it is necessary).
One of the weird things about my panic attacks is that they always start out when I am most calm and during periods of my life that are very low stress. In fact, I never have an attack when I am feeling anxious. It is almost like having anxiety helps keep them at bay. They always start with a very surreal feeling of intense calm. Everything feels so intensely calm that I feel like I am almost not living anymore. When these feelings start, I start to depersonalize. It feels like my body/mind splits into 3 distinct entities. There is the part of me that I still control, then there is my thoughts/mind, and there is my body. I can hear myself thinking thoughts, but the part of me that is conscious does not remember thinking them. I no longer feel connected to my body. I want to scream for someone to help me, but I no longer feel like I can move my mouth to speak (often times when I try it will come out as a groan). If I concentrate hard enough I can sometimes make myself say something, but it is usually limited to a few words and they don’t always come out the way I intended. For instance, when I am in this state and my husband asks me a simple yes or no question sometimes I will not answer him correctly(but I will think that I did). I feel like if I try to stand up my legs will buckle underneath me because I do not have control over my body. My heart feels like it stops completely. If I were to try to read a sentence I would not understand what it says and if someone tried to talk to me, I would not necessarily know what they are saying. When I am in this state, this is when the panic kicks in (although since it happens a lot I don’t know that I necessarily always feel scared, I simply ride out the sensation). I have read about other people’s experiences with depersonalization and although their experience sounds similar, it seems like the still are capable of carrying on with life they just don’t feel connected. I am literally not able to function when I am in this state. All I can do is lie down and wait for the feeling to pass.
Other panic attack symptoms that will eventually kick in include, feeling short of breath, having sweaty palms, feeling like I have to pee, numbness in my extremities, and sometimes shaking. My panic attacks last for 10-30 mins and then I will feel completely wiped out afterwards. It takes me 3-4 hours to fully recover.
When I go through intense episodes where I am having panic attacks 5-6 times a day, I end up feeling extremely confused between attacks. I have a hard time following conversations and simple instructions. I have to concentrate really hard to understand what people are saying. It is almost like I everyone is speaking another language in which I am barely fluent. I also have found myself forgetting how to do simple tasks like taking the car seat out of the car.
The weird thing though is that when they tweak my meds, it seems to help for a couple months and then the episodes come back in full force. I currently take 20 mg Cipralex and 0.25 mg of clonazepam (although my doctor will be talking to the reproductive psychiatrist for instructions since I am 24 weeks pregnant). I have done lots of cognitive behavioural therapy and I have done 12 sessions of neurofeedback. I would say that my general stress level is extremely low at the moment and the only thing that is really bothering me is that no one can agree on the best way to help me.
So after all that, does this sound atypical for panic disorder or do any of you have similar experiences? Do you think the reproductive psychologist is right and that I should go for a neurologist consult? Can anyone recommend any other treatment options/therapies?
I would like to work proactively towards some solutions but at the moment I am at a bit of a dead end.