vanxious
08-12-15, 15:54
This will be a long one, fellows...
Well, let's go: i'm currently feeling a lot of anxiety on my relationship. It's painful, and i don't know how to deal with it. My humor even changes from very happy to feeling almost sick in minutes, and i know this is everything but healthy to me or even the relation. This is my situation:
i met this girl. We know each other for sometime now, but it took us a while until we engaged this relationship. True is, in the first months it was more "friends with benefits" then a true relationship. At the time we lived some up's and down's, until one day, mid summer this year, she took the step forward and ask me to get things straight: or either we were a couple or not. I truly like this girl, and despite my "fear" of falling in love, i let myself go with the relationship, and made myself clear that i was there for her, and i like her. After that we started a new chapter in our lives, learning more and more about each other, sharing our days, thoughts, the usual. But then, a personality change strikes in.
What happened? Well, she is studying to be a landscape arquitect, and at this time she is drowned in works, books, plants, all kinds of stuff that she needs to sort out for classes. She is working every day and every night until 5 or 6am, goes home, sleep for a couple of hours and then returns to college and continues her journey. And that's ok i understand that. It's her future, she needs to be fully commited with it. But what's been kiling me inside is that she barely talks to me anymore. I've once talked to her about my feelings, i tell her that i was having some troubles discovering how should i behave with her at this time, because she never calls me, almost doesn't text me, she even doesn't seem to try and find any opotunity to share a coffee with me even, despite her college is literally 5min away from my home and my work. She told me that nothing has changed, and promise me to try to give me a little more atention, but... nothing happened. In the first days she did text me a bit more, and even apologise sometimes for letting me without news for long hours, but now she even doesn't do that at all.
And this is killing me inside. I text her, not to much because i want her to keep focused on the work, but half of the time i'm left with no answer. Sometimes i text her, and she reads the message (damn Whatsaap and those tickers that let us know that) but doesn't answer me, sometimes until next morning. In the next day i might get a "good morning kiss", but no reference to my message from the day before. It's like she doesn't care. On the other hand, we never speak on the phone too much, but when we do, it really seems that everything is normal. Two nights ago we talked for hour and half, mostly her talking about her projects, how one of her teachers makes her unconfortable, and how insecure she felts, with fear of not being sucessful. I played the good part of me, kept telling her she is great, she will get amazing grades (she really does!), and at the end i tell her i like her, and she replied back. I slept like a baby that night.
I am insecure. That's why in the past i was always trying to not fall in love (remember my fear i told you in the begining?). I know for a fact that this girl was never to keen on revealing her feelings, but i got an ocasional "i like you" or "i miss you" in the past months. Now i got nothing. When i'm calm, my mind tells me that this is normal, she likes me but she is really focused on her academics now and i must accept that. But when the anxiety kicks in i start losing control, altought i'm trying to avoid not to do or say anything stupid that could ruin a good realtionship underneath.
Thanks for reading my ridiculous long post, you guys are great.
And sorry for some typos, English is not my main language :)
Cheers
Well, let's go: i'm currently feeling a lot of anxiety on my relationship. It's painful, and i don't know how to deal with it. My humor even changes from very happy to feeling almost sick in minutes, and i know this is everything but healthy to me or even the relation. This is my situation:
i met this girl. We know each other for sometime now, but it took us a while until we engaged this relationship. True is, in the first months it was more "friends with benefits" then a true relationship. At the time we lived some up's and down's, until one day, mid summer this year, she took the step forward and ask me to get things straight: or either we were a couple or not. I truly like this girl, and despite my "fear" of falling in love, i let myself go with the relationship, and made myself clear that i was there for her, and i like her. After that we started a new chapter in our lives, learning more and more about each other, sharing our days, thoughts, the usual. But then, a personality change strikes in.
What happened? Well, she is studying to be a landscape arquitect, and at this time she is drowned in works, books, plants, all kinds of stuff that she needs to sort out for classes. She is working every day and every night until 5 or 6am, goes home, sleep for a couple of hours and then returns to college and continues her journey. And that's ok i understand that. It's her future, she needs to be fully commited with it. But what's been kiling me inside is that she barely talks to me anymore. I've once talked to her about my feelings, i tell her that i was having some troubles discovering how should i behave with her at this time, because she never calls me, almost doesn't text me, she even doesn't seem to try and find any opotunity to share a coffee with me even, despite her college is literally 5min away from my home and my work. She told me that nothing has changed, and promise me to try to give me a little more atention, but... nothing happened. In the first days she did text me a bit more, and even apologise sometimes for letting me without news for long hours, but now she even doesn't do that at all.
And this is killing me inside. I text her, not to much because i want her to keep focused on the work, but half of the time i'm left with no answer. Sometimes i text her, and she reads the message (damn Whatsaap and those tickers that let us know that) but doesn't answer me, sometimes until next morning. In the next day i might get a "good morning kiss", but no reference to my message from the day before. It's like she doesn't care. On the other hand, we never speak on the phone too much, but when we do, it really seems that everything is normal. Two nights ago we talked for hour and half, mostly her talking about her projects, how one of her teachers makes her unconfortable, and how insecure she felts, with fear of not being sucessful. I played the good part of me, kept telling her she is great, she will get amazing grades (she really does!), and at the end i tell her i like her, and she replied back. I slept like a baby that night.
I am insecure. That's why in the past i was always trying to not fall in love (remember my fear i told you in the begining?). I know for a fact that this girl was never to keen on revealing her feelings, but i got an ocasional "i like you" or "i miss you" in the past months. Now i got nothing. When i'm calm, my mind tells me that this is normal, she likes me but she is really focused on her academics now and i must accept that. But when the anxiety kicks in i start losing control, altought i'm trying to avoid not to do or say anything stupid that could ruin a good realtionship underneath.
Thanks for reading my ridiculous long post, you guys are great.
And sorry for some typos, English is not my main language :)
Cheers