Trying to keep going to work?

[CoraB]

Hey everyone,

I just wondered how many of you guys are working while battling health anxiety? It would be nice to have a thread on here to get me though the day and make me feel less alone.

I work full time doing a desk job and at the moment it really is touch and go if I can make it into work or if I just have done with it all and get signed off. I know staying home will not make me less anxious but facing work sometimes seems like it adds to it all.

I worry about being ill at work or making a scene. I also feel so tired and brain-fogged that I am struggling to do my work properly. I also feel dizzy and shaky and like i suddenly want to cry at my desk.

Anyone dreading work tomorrow as much as me?

[Humly]

Hi. Not suffering from health anxiety at the moment but have done in the past and no doubt it will reappear at some point, but i do suffer from anxiety and am going through a bad patch at the moment.

I have been off work the past 2 days but I do agency clerical work so havent got a contract and can work the hours I want. If I dont work, I dont get paid though.

I dont want to go back to work but feel I should. I've been working at the same place for a year and a half now so know everyone and dont want to let them down. Its a struggle and I've had days where I am barely keeping it together and just want to cry. Nobody knows I suffer from anxiety this bad.

Are you on any meds and do they know your situation at work? If you think it would help, perhaps a bit of time off might be a good thing.

[Mark501]

made redundant in January this year.

Went to interviews. Was offered a job in august. Accepted

Quit after 3 days due to crippling anxiety.

You guys are doing better than me just by pushing through it.

[Randara]

Hello! I was working full time until 13 November and my anxiety definitely spiked when I was at work. I think this was because I didn't enjoy my job anymore, there were often times where I would be at my bank of desks by myself and I would end up noticing weird sensations. I was on a year contract due to end 31 December but decided to leave early and have some 'me' time.

I'm fairly sure the people in my office knew something was up, sometimes I would have a little cry in the toilets or being very restless and leaving my desk a lot. I had one full on panic attack at work, luckily I had a very kind and understanding colleague who sat with me in a meeting room until I felt better.

Does your employer use an Employee Assistance Program? I got 6 free counselling sessions through mine, which was great as it helped me get things off my chest and it counted as work time.

[artist12]

I'm with you. I have a full-time desk job and I probably think about my symptoms/check/Google countless times an hour.

It gets really tiring and I know I'm not as focused as I could be, which adds to my stress as I feel like my boss is going to think I'm starting to slip at doing a good job.

Do you have the flexibility to work form home at all? I do that sometimes, just to avoid the stress of being around people.

Hope things get better for you!

[CoraB]

Thanks you guys for replying �� I am currently holed out in the toilets feeling in the brink of tears. It's not just getting through today it's the thought I have to keep coming back and all the time I feel like I am ill. I feel like I notice a lot of weird sensations when I am at my desk too.

Work don't know much about my anxiety I have tried to say I get anxious but I don't think they realise it is to the point of me going off sick. So worried about cancer today either bladder or bower or spine tumour.

Does anyone else feel like they are seriously ill and might be wasting their precious time at work?

[CoraB]

Such a bad day at work today i had all pains in my lower legs and I kept feeling like my bladder was so full it hurt, although i am not sure if it was the back pain causing it. The longer it keeps lasting I am freaking out more about the pain.

Dreading having the Xmas break and having to face week after week without any leave. I just feel like its all going to come apart and everyone is going to find out what a complete mental case i am.

Feeling like the only thing that would reassure me right now is a full body scan and even then i will have to wait months.

[Blue-eyes]

Hello CoraB

I totally understand how you are feeling. I work full time and some days are an exhausting struggle.

I have had anxiety/panic attacks on and off for about 20 years and I still cannot get used to some of the feelings that I experience.

My health anxiety is currently around a fear of developing an allergic reaction, to just about anything! So when a colleague breaks out the peanuts I'm a mess. Especially if I can smell them!

I also have really bad missed beats (I think related to my digestion/gallbladder/acid reflux issues). I get light headed with them and just don't know what to do with myself when they start.

Sooo, feeling like this while having to do a full time job and not show your colleagues how you're feeling is a daily struggle. It's exhausting, especially as really we're doing 2 things at once, trying to do our job while checking and worrying about what we think is happening to us.

Plus, not having a partner to share the burden of keeping a roof over my head doesn't help. I'd love to give up work but at the moment I don't have much of a choice.

Thank you for posting about this subject by the way.

Blue-eyes

[dally]

Hi Cora
I understand how you feel. It is really such a strain, on your already anxious body, trying to appear 'normal'. In front of your colleagues. Can you talk to your team leader?
Explain how you feel.
If you need to, just take toilet visits and try doing deep breathing excercise still you feel calmer.
Perhaps your GP could give you some short course medication which might tide you over for just now.

[ray.olsen]

Hey Cora

It's actually common to fear anxiety while having work or have anxiety about work. I actually had to endure this for 8 years before. It's a good thing that I had a great treatment team that have provided me with the proper coping skills and treatment methods in case an anxiety attack occurs.

I learned relaxation techniques like meditation, breathing exercises, and positive thinking. I prepared calming tea and nutritional supplements wherever I go. And I always remember CBT and mindfulness techniques. Whenever I reach an end there is always the medicine I constantly bring for emergency purposes.

[jadedreams]

Hi Cora, just wanted to say I too am working and having issues with dealing with anxiety at work. I have a good job and love the people here, just having trouble putting the anxiety aside while I work. I feel like it distracts me too much and I"m not as productive as I should be. It has sapped my self confidence in my work abilities that's for sure.

And I too have spent a few times in restroom fighting off tears or just crying for a minute. I have had one college up here that I have confided in which helps. For everyone else though I am trying my best to do my job and act normal, it is hard to put on a brave face when you don't feel ok.

For me though since I don't have a partner I must work and keeping busy helps me, sitting home without anything to do increases my anxiety.

Sending hugs your way..

[CoraB]

Sooo, feeling like this while having to do a full time job and not show your colleagues how you're feeling is a daily struggle. It's exhausting, especially as really we're doing 2 things at once, trying to do our job while checking and worrying about what we think is happening to us.


That's how I feel, like I have two jobs! One is my normal job and the other is constantly trying to re-assure myself I am not experiencing some heart attack or organ failure or have some other disease i am worried about at the time.

It must be hard with the allergic reaction thing. in my office people are always bringing food in and offering it around etc. My pet hate is when they start talking about illness and especially how someone they know "was fine 2 months ago and now dead". I just get this panic and it's awful but like you say i am trying to "act normal".

I have talked to my manager about it, I've had to really with the amount of sick time i have had off but mainly work are just worried about work getting done they pay me for and that's that.

Ray - I like your idea of carrying around things you know will help. What sort of tea do you drink is it herbal type? Does anyone else have stuff which helps relax them?