View Full Version : laura here from c4 last night - what did you think?
hi guys,
finally managed to log on now, ive had to re-register a new name!
I was pleased with the programme and especially how it has changed my life, i just wanted to see what you guys thought?
When i first got it i felt very alone and like it was just me that had all these silly thoughts and symptoms, i hope that some of you have found reassurance and it
I'd love to hear your thoughts?
I also have a myspace page if anyone wants to contact me
www.myspace.com/lauraanglim
Lx
Hi,
It was fantastic to watch for several reasons:-
My family watched it with me and they kept saying how simular to you I was and they said they understand a lot more now as it opened their eyes to it all.
Like you, my main worry is the dreaded C word and I kept going A&E thinking I had a tumor as I had this headache, which would not go then I thought I had throat cancer etc etc.
I'm glad you are better and let's hope people who we know see us as better people.
Red
Hi Laura,
I watched the programme last night and really found it interesting. You are so like me, I lost my mum to Hepatitis C 7 years ago, and like you, watched her deteriorate over the years, and eventually die in hospital. I don't feel as if I ever came to terms with it until very recently, as I was there for my dad because he fell to pieces and was constantly threatening suicide so that he could be with her. Being an only child, I had to hold it together for his sake. Thankfully he is now fine and has moved on in his life, and seems very happy.
This was definitely the cause of my hypochondria...I became obsessed with any type of illness, and talked myself into having everything! Everyone around me kept telling me I was fine, but I constantly sought reassurance form the internet and doctors, despite the fact that I didn't trust them, like you! They misdiagnosed my mum for a long time, so I lost all faith in them. However, I talked and talked to myself, and eventually managed to realise that I was fit and healthy, and had a lot to be thankful for, ie, two healthy children and a loving partner. I have been ok for a few months now, and hope that this means I have recovered.
You were very brave to go onto the programme, and showed real insight into your problem. You seem a bright girl, and so pretty, with so much to live for. I hope that you are well on the way to recovery.
Take care, Amber x
Hi Laura
I found the programme very interesting.
You reminded me so much of myself.
I lost both my mum and dad to cancer.
Seeing what they went through and being there when when they died scared me badly.
I'me now terrified of doctors and hospitals, illness and death.
I got my hubby to watch the programme so he could see how it affects other people and i think he understands a little better now.
I'me so glad things are better for you now.
Take care
Traceyxxx
Laura, Oh my dear Laura
I saw the show on ch4 last night but before someone told me one of the NMP fold was featured on it, i would never have known.
First and foremost, you are a very pretty girl and its ashame that at such a young age you are going through this constant concern for your health. You portrayed your fears well in the documentary and i sympathise wholeheartedly as i see alot of me in you.
Im Dave, 24 from Birmingham and have had health anxiety, mixed with social anxiety, hypochondria and panic attacks since 1999, although i have been a hypochondria since i was a lad.
In those days it was a fear of being sick but now I'm older its evolved into an array of fears and each week in my opinion I have something new. Like you, i have thought I have had cancer, an aortic aneurysm, fear of heart attacks and cardiac arrests etc and the list grows and grows. The mind is such a powerful tool its almost as if if you're mind thinks enough about something, your body might act in a way which would lead you to think you had the illnesses you most fear, when in reality you don't.
I'm sorry about the loss of your dad to cancer. I have had family die of cancer too and i guess to a degree anything can happen to anyone of us in the future. But on the other hand, it might not. We never know and i think the problem we have is we spend so much time dreading getting something, that we spend our lifes thinking about the possibility of dying and not about living. As the doctor said in the documentary, we don't have crystal balls so we can't predict the future.
As i said you are a very pretty girl and you are at an age when living should be the most important thing on your mind. I know because i feel the same way about myself.
We always think it is easy for doctors say its all in our minds when they are not the ones whose bodys feel the way ours do. I still hold strong in the belief though that it is manipulation from the mind making this feel the way we do.
Before i forget, congrats holding that block with the bees on it. Thats something i would never do haha.
Another thing Laura, well done sticking out the fake fainting episode the doctor had in the supermarket. Fainting is my main fear also as it was my trigger for the panics I have to this day. Almost every word you said when asked about why you hate fainting is so true of myself. I hate the though of a circle of people coming around you, gawping and the ambulance being called possibility. I see so much of myself in you, its not even funny :)
I will finish by saying Laura you are a special girl with the world in front of you and i hope very soon you get to experience the joys of the future for you.
This is not the board area for this but i hereby send you a virtual hug!
Take care Laura,
Love Dave xx
Hi Laura, It was very good and interesting and I really hope you get your life back on track and enjoy yourself like young people should, I am 58 and wasted so many years through health anxiety, and now looking back what a waste of life as I am 58 and still here. My first really big panic was about a month after my Dad died, He died sudden of a heart attack at the time I didn’t seem really upset I was more in a trance and looking for answers. The big panic happened in the middle of the night and I couldn’t move it was so horrible, My wife was phoning doctor and ambulance and we where both 100% sure I was dying of a heart attack, Doctor came gave me a large dose of diazepam and I went to sleep, but after this attack I was pretty bad, weak and agoraphobic for a couple of years. (The big ones really knock you about). I have suffered most of my life but have had lots of good years between, I am not as bad now with the health anxiety as we learn over the years its just one illness after the other and nothing ever comes of it? You seem like a lovely girl and I hope you are better and enjoy life, I am glad to hear you feel better. By the way, do you have contact with any of the others? Was just wondering if the lady in the wheelchair ever did walk again as yet? And how long ago did this take place. Thanks Laura and you where great. Take Care. Vernon
Hi Laura,
Congratulations on the documentary - you're a star!
You communicated your situation very well and I loved your direct and honest approach. You were very brave to take part and I think that you will have helped a lot of people out there to realise that they are not alone in these feelings, that they are not going mad and that there is a way to get better! That's so important.
Well done you! :-)
Eeb x
HI Laura.
I am 27, 3 children and I have suffered health anxiety since my grandad died suddenly 8 yrs ago. I still suffer now and find it so hard with 3 kids.
I suffer daily but its nowhere near as bad as it was 2 yrs ago.
I was so glad to see you felt better, the programme was very helpful.
yorkylover
20-02-07, 13:02
Hi laura,I watched the programme and thought it was excellent.Im so glad to hear it has helped you move forward.You are so young and deserve to have a happy life with your little boy.You were very brave to take part in the programme and Im sure you have helped alot of people out there by doing it.
best of luck for the future Laura.
best wishes:)
I think its great that you, Sarah, Jane and Kevin demonstrated to the nation what its like to feel like this.
I remember how, years ago, we used to laugh at work about somebody at work who appeared to be a hypocondriac. She confided in me about her past and later when I got anxiety myself I knew how this is not about a person making a conscious decision, its a default reaction within us. I was so ignorant then, and today many people remain so.
It's great that the publicity has gone beyond the TV programme.
Well done you!
PanickyPolly
20-02-07, 13:21
hi hun, glad the programme helped you. I felt for you watching it I really did. I've never had health anxiety but I keep thinking people are eithr gossiping about me which will ruin my reputation or are plotting to kill me. I guess at the en of teh day it doesn't matter what we have obsessive thoughts about what matters is we have thema nd we need to stop them. I'm going to try what that other lady did with the balloons today...write stuff on them then pop away lol.
normalwisdom
20-02-07, 13:32
Hi Laura :w00t2:
Just wanted to say well done you!!!! I don't have health anxiety but could see myself in most people on the programme.
Hope you are doing well and hope to hear more of your progress.:)
Under~The~Stars
20-02-07, 13:43
Hi Laura,
I just want to say a BIG well done to you, you done really well in the programme and I thought you were all really brave. :yesyes:
I suffer from health anxiety, have done for the last couple of years and could totally relate to you all.
When I first started feeling the way I do, I thought I was the only person and I felt so alone, it was horrible, but after joining this site and watching programmes like "house of agoraphobics" and the programme you were in, it shows you that you're not alone and that things can be done to help. It's a long journey, but worth it in the end. I want more than anything to get my life back on track.
I think it's really good that programmes like this are being made as it gives you hope that things can change, and it also gives you determination. None of my family watched it with me, however I did ask them to. But I know if they had watched it they would have seen so many similarities between how I am, and how you guys were.
My personal opinion is that if you have the right support, and time you are half way there to recovery.
Laura you were great, you showed a lot of strength. Keep up the good work! Was really nice to see people getting better from this.
Thankyou :smile:
Louise xxx
Hi Sarah
I'd just like to say thanks for being brave enough to do the TV programme. I made my family watch it and I hope they now have a better understanding of health anxiety than they did before. Wishing you all the best for the future.
Kay x
Hi Laura,
I thought the show was very useful.
I associated with your story more than the others in the show because of the background to your feelings. I don't think the show explained the source of the other people's anxiety, but they did with you.
I have a similar story to you about losing my father and have gone through similar feelings, although considering it was only a few months back, I suspect I'm at the start of the process you have gone through.
From the start of the show I sensed where your anxiety had came from in losing your father. Often we don't see the obvious in ourselves, whereas other people do. Tackling those issues once identified is another issue, however.
I have long held the view that health anxiety isn't that at all, it is really death anxiety. It is often triggered by death, when you face death and grief face-on it can have various reactions. This happens to most people at some time, however, how we cope with it depends on environmental factors, our personaility type, social networks, etc.
No doubt most with health anxiety don't cope with grief well, it becomes "complicated" grief and leaves unresolved emotional issues which the body eventually converts into physical signs via anxiety.
Like you in the show, I'm at the stage where I need certainty. I need to know I'm not going to be ill, I need to know what is beyond death. Yet these very certain answers I need are counter to the very spontaneous nature of life, I'm chasing the rainbow, chasing something which doesn't exist. However, if you are always anxious about health, what quality of life do you have anyway?
I'm not at the stage to let my grief or memories go. I'm not sure the bad memories will ever go away.
take care,
Russ
I am just kicking myself coz I missed the programme as I was cooking dinner and it slipped my mind but well done anyhow - we are all proud of you for doing it!! Love wenjoy x
strawberrie
20-02-07, 15:03
hi laura. i really wanted to say thank you for doing this show - you are so brave to 'go public' about this - i know we shouldnt feel ashamed but i think there is lots of stigma attached to anxiety (and especially health anxiety). I hate the word hypochondria by the way, i think it gives the wrong impression of health anxiety, to me a hypochondriac is someone who enjoys moaning about their aches and pains for attention (not someone who is genuinely scared of symptoms and illness).
I related totally to your story, having lost my mum to cancer 15 years ago. Very sadly, her doctor did not take her symptoms seriously and she was diagnosed much later on than she should've been. I must admit i cried at the part of the programme when you said about carrying the pain for your dad and how awful you felt about what he had to go through - it made loads of sense to me when i saw you talking about it.
My husband watched with me and I do think it helped him understand better, and to realise that i'm not the only person that thinks like this. The bit where Sarah was on the phone to her husband and kept asking 'do you think its something serious, do you think there's something wrong' was something he's heard a million times before, so i think he was a bit shocked that other people do this too!
And, the bit where you were asking the doctor to check your lymph nodes, omg the amount of times i've done that - i could totally understand how you felt when he said he wouldnt check them.
well, i'm so glad that the show made a real difference to your life. I know Sarah visits the forum - she did brilliantly too. Are you still in touch with the other two - how are they getting on?
anyway, best of luck for the future, and WELL DONE! :) :D :)
hi guys gr8 to hear your feedback im so glad you have all given such support and its wonderful to hear such positive words about the programme.
It has worked for me, like sarah says the anxiety is there but its just keeping it under control!!
I am in touch with Sarah and Kevin who were in the show too!!
Jane in the wheel chair still no change, although the therapist are sure onew day she could walk???? who knows hey!!
We were filmed over a period of about 6 months and had the therapy in the cottage last october. We did a lot more than what was shown as they had to get everything into one hour! - But since the therapy i havent had a panic attack since so over 4 months now (and considering i was having about 3 or 4 a week) its brilliant! anxiety level gone from feeling derealisation (dreamy) a 95% down to non existant!
Thanks again everyone and good luck to you all for the future!
L
x
I thought it was a very good program Laura.
Infact, I could not believe how close my anxiety was to Sarah's, especially the Blood Pressure worry, and how that 1st step towards exercise help her.
Well done, I thought it was a very good presentation of what is a common problem.
Good Luck
Jaco
Hi Laura,
well done for doing the show and learning how to cope.
i cant believe how much that programme related to how i feel, i had the same worry as Kevin for 3 years about HIV, but it wasnt the thought that i might catch it i already "knew" i had it i was too scared to go for a test because then i would have to deal with the fact that i had it, in the end my partner made me go for the test which was negative but the worrying didnt stop there i thought that either they were lying or that the person who had taken my blood have given me HIV, (i did realise this was a bit irrational after a while) i now have a new fear about something else which is not really health related but the mind works in the same was as it does with every anxiety "the doubt" and needing constant reasurrance about things. i am currently on the waiting list for CBT, and i am now feeling positive that this could help me.
Take Care
hi laura
i just wanted to say how proud i am of you!!!!i think you are incredibly brave and i,m soooo sorry that you lost your dad(he looked very handsome!)you are a pretty lady and i wish you the very best in the future!!!!
take care
rach x
Well done, i watched you last night and i think you were very brave. One of my fears is to faint, well drop down dead really from a faint. When you were in the supermarket with the doctor pretending to faint i think i felt worse than you did!! You may have felt really bad but you were great and stood and watched, i was panicking at that point. I feel the same feelings as you and i was amazed at how much i saw myself in you and your reactions. I just kept nodding and saying yes at the tv, luckily i was on my own watching because my family already think i'm mad! Well done again.
Hi Laura
Well done!
As so many others have said, I could really re-late to you while watching the program,
It is the first time that I have ever seen anyone have who was like me! and It was a huge help to me, I thought it was just me, but you said and behaved just as I do and made me start to believe this is anxiety I have and I am not about to drop dead!
Glad you are doing so well
Wendy xx
miss diagnosis
21-02-07, 11:29
Laura looking at you was like looking in a mirror. seriously i feel exactly like you since my dad got terminal cancer.I think watching someone die can mess your head up big time. Im starting to get better though. well done to you.
charlotte07
21-02-07, 12:13
hi laura,im new to this site and really hold hope that its going to help me in my way foward,i thought i was the only one who felt like this,coming on here made me see that im not alone.
in october my dad passed away,he had a grade four brain tumour,me and my mum nursed him all the way with help from the mcmillan,its like you are living a terrible nightmare isnt it,bieng taken into quiet rooms to be told more bad news not knowing how your legs will get you there,watching somebody who you love so much go down and down so rapidly,its such a cruel illness isnt it,i stayed with my dad when he took his last breath like you did,the feelings of desperation for them back are undescribable arnt they,i had to stay in the room a while i was convinced he was breathing.two days before his funeral i found out my partner had been having an affair,he wasnt even by my side at the funeral,
your little boy is gorgeous,ive got 3 children 2 boys aged 14years and 13months and a girl age 8, im glad my dad got to meet him.
all the best in everything you do laura love and understanding charlottexx
hi laura,im new to this site and really hold hope that its going to help me in my way foward,i thought i was the only one who felt like this,coming on here made me see that im not alone.
in october my dad passed away,he had a grade four brain tumour,me and my mum nursed him all the way with help from the mcmillan,its like you are living a terrible nightmare isnt it,bieng taken into quiet rooms to be told more bad news not knowing how your legs will get you there,watching somebody who you love so much go down and down so rapidly,its such a cruel illness isnt it,i stayed with my dad when he took his last breath like you did,the feelings of desperation for them back are undescribable arnt they,i had to stay in the room a while i was convinced he was breathing.two days before his funeral i found out my partner had been having an affair,he wasnt even by my side at the funeral,
your little boy is gorgeous,ive got 3 children 2 boys aged 14years and 13months and a girl age 8, im glad my dad got to meet him.
all the best in everything you do laura love and understanding charlottexx
Hi Charlotte, it sounds like you are having a tough time also!
As I said in my previous reply, we have all faced death and illness in this way. It isn't a shock to me many who develop anxiety have the same experience of nursing a relative and being with them at the end.
Many people don't experience this. Others have the personaility and support to cope with it. A proportion like us seem to struggle. Death takes away our stability, especially if the grief we feel hasn't resolved.
We lost Dad a few months back to cancer. However, my other brothers and sister didn't have the same experience. Yes we all suffered the loss, but me and mom were also left with the memories of nursing dad 24/7 and being with him right to the end. Some of those memories are good, experiences other relatives missed out on, not for their own fault of course, but many of those memories are negative, they stick with you.
Like you say, ALWAYS bad news. Nursing someone also makes you blind to illness in many ways, we couldn't see the massive downturn in dad, but people who visited every week or other week could.
I also think when you are nursing someone you have to try and stay positive for them. Dad's death to me wasn't a shock, but it was sudden if that makes sense, in terms of when you care for someone you are not preparing yourself for the end as perhaps other relatives are, because you are focused on looking after them and staying positive.
I don't honestly know if it gets better, I'm not at that stage, all I know if life is rotten sometimes, but we have to make the most of it!
well done laura.
it was great to watch, i like you have health anxiety, but mine is related to heart attacks and anything heart related but it does spiral into other things. mine started when my partner had 2 heart attacks and i was faced with him nearly dying in fromt of me on both occasions and the fear of being on my own with 2 small children.
im so glad things have worked out for you.
keep in touch
take care
ruth
Laura, I thought the programme was fantastic, and you were very brave to take part. I admire you for being able to talk so openly about your fears too, as I tend to bottle mine up for fear of looking silly.
I wish the programme could have been a bit longer and we could have had more insite to the methods used, as you all seem to have benefitted so much from it. But I guess the "average" viewer probably wouldn't agree with me.
I hope you continue to make progress and keep anxiety at bay!
Paddington
22-02-07, 14:58
hI Laura.The programme really opened my eyes to why my anxiety and panic started then snowballed into the way i am now!!!My dad died of cancer too[russ iam in total agreement with everything you have said,and my thought s are with you too]..it was not long after his death that i had my first panic attack ,full blown thought i was dyin ,the works!!Then i developed irritable bowel syndrome [i was convinced it was cancer]the mad thing is i have had cancer since my dad's death,operations the lot!!But still i think i have ovarian or skin cancer,it is weird ,what your mind can do.Thank you for going on the programme and showing the world we are not simply melodramatic attention seekers ,but desperatly unhappy scared people!When the dr said you are scared of death but have no life[or words to that efffect:) ]it really hit home!!Like Vernon said,it is such a waste of the life we are given,i am still doing it and am lucky enough to have been given a second chance.I was 32 when my father died ,am 52 now,and still running scared.Have a wonderful happy fear free life Laura,as you said,your Dad would not want to see you livng in fear.God blessyou sweet heart.Love Mary rose xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
buttercup123
23-02-07, 13:43
Please can someone tell me what the title of this programme was and I will try and download it from uknova - really wanna watch it!!!!
Ta, Jo xx
Hi Laura, well done for being so brave to go on the show. I was approached by the same people (or something very similar) and I was too chicken to go ahead with it. I found the programme very informative, helpful, reassuring, inspiring....I could go on, lets just say it was a very good hour of TV.
I am very happy for you that things have got so much better for you, you deserve that. Keep up the good work! :D
Angie x
thought you were very good on the programe .very open and honest .not sure what the treatment eas .was it talking to you or listening .it must have been more than that .???????
buttercup123
24-02-07, 09:55
Please will someone tell me what this program was called!!!!
Ta,
Jo
It was called "Hypochondriacs: I Told You I Was Ill". It was part of the "Only Human" series on Channel 4.
Here's their web page about it:
http://www.channel4.com/health/microsites/H/hypochondriacs/index.html
It's available to download (rent or buy) from the 4OD service too, I couldn't find a repeat of it in my TV guide.
buttercup123
24-02-07, 17:36
Cheers Jim, gonna watch it tonight!!
Jo x
hello laura. i watched that programme and found it very interesting!! i suffer from worries about my health - constant worry about feeling ill - so i can kind of relate to you. your problem seems way more serious though. i hope you can get over this soon.
nice myspace page =]
claire x
Hello
I have just found this post. Does anyone know how will be able to watch his documentary as was on so long ago? I have just read blog on c4 website and wish I had watched it! However wasn't suffering with anxiety 2 years ago but all the same would love to watch it now.
Hope everyone is doing ok xxx
It was called "Hypochondriacs: I Told You I Was Ill". It was part of the "Only Human" series on Channel 4.
nomorepanic
06-07-09, 19:32
Try emailing Channel 4 and ask if they will show it again maybe?
Cheers
I have just done so hopefully they might!!!
Thanks for your reply x
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