so scared of disease that i can't function

[1357]

i've always had a lot of anxiety over diseases and disorders that i might have. lately the anxiety has been so bad that i haven't been able to finish most of my schoolwork or talk to other people.

recently i've discovered this disease called hidradenitis suppurativa, and i really wish that i didn't. it all started with me looking for how to treat something that looks like folliculitis on my bum (embarrassing, i know), and i saw someone that suggested i might have that condition.

upon researching it, i had a panic attack that was so bad i passed out. that was about four days ago. the past few days have been miserable. i have at least two panic attacks a day, i cry so much my chest starts hurting, i feel lightheaded, i don't finish my homework, i don't eat, and i don't talk to people. i'm scared to get in the shower and see my naked body in any ways in case i find a lesion that might make me panic. any mark i see on my body now is an indication that i have that disease.

this is probably worse than many of the other diseases i've thought i've had in the past. i've told my self multiple times that if i do get diagnosed with it, i'll commit suicide.

i'm almost 100% sure that i have it, but something tells me it's just my brain playing tricks on me like it did with previous diseases i've thought i had, like leprosy. i just keep thinking about how i fit most of the risk factors; i'm a female, i live in hot climate, and i've struggled with acne.

i just want this to be over. i want to be guaranteed that i don't have hidradenitis suppurativa. i want to stop panicking over it every day and i want whatever it is on my body that's leading me to believe that i have it to disappear. it's ruining my life. please help me.

[Leslie735]

I wasn't sure what you were talking about was, so I googled (probably shouldn't have but I was curious). From what you describe does not sound like the same thing at all. Have you seen a doctor and showed him/her the area you are concerned about? If not, then I would start there and let that rule your fear out.

Also, even if (which you do not) had it, from what I quickly read, there is treatments for it.

Please do not panic, you are fine!

[Traceypo]

You need to see the doctor hun and talk over the concern on your bum (where on you bum is it) and also tell them how you feel, have you tried therapy?
Xx

[CoraB]

i'm scared to get in the shower and see my naked body in any ways in case i find a lesion that might make me panic. any mark i see on my body now is an indication that i have that disease.

this is probably worse than many of the other diseases i've thought i've had in the past. i've told my self multiple times that if i do get diagnosed with it, i'll commit suicide.

Hey there,

Firstly like Leslie735 i am not sure what the disease is so I am pretty sure it is ultra rare as with my googling history i would have seen it otherwise! I'm going through a rough patch at the moment and I am on a google ban so I won't look it up.

What I would say is that I can totally see myself in what you are saying! A few months back I had this whole thing with my boobs and I panicked every time I looked down or looked in a mirror, even about how my bra fitted. I walked around wrapped in a quilt to try and stop myself looking. I am still like it now to an extent and I am so scared i will find something I avoid checking my breasts too which i know is not good.

I too have said to myself I will commit suicide if it is "x". I say to myself don't worry till you know you definitely don't have it but somehow my brain is not wired that way and ties itself in knots over every little thing.

Get yourself to a Dr and try not to google (believe me I know how hard that is)...

[uru]

Stay away from Dr Google. ;)

http://youtu.be/ypl2bBpfHR4

[1357]

thank you all for support ...
I've noticed two bumps on the back of my legs now ... I see a panic attack coming , I can't breathe right , I was supposed to see the doctor today but she cancelled it

I'm on the verge of suicide , I'm fully convinced I have this disease and will have to live isolated for life due to it , I'm panicking

[uru]

thank you all for support ...
I've noticed two bumps on the back of my legs now ... I see a panic attack coming , I can't breathe right , I was supposed to see the doctor today but she cancelled it

I'm on the verge of suicide , I'm fully convinced I have this disease and will have to live isolated for life due to it , I'm panicking

Is there anyone you can call? Please don't do anything rash.

---------- Post added at 22:08 ---------- Previous post was at 22:04 ----------

If there is no one please call one of these numbers

I found numbers for Brazil which is where you seem to be from.


AMA National Association
Hospital de Pronto Socorro
Largo Teodor Herzl S/NO
Primero Andar
CEP 90035/191
PORTO ALEGRE - SP
Contact by: Face to Face - Phone - Letter: - E-mail:
Website: samaritanos.cjb.net
Hours:
Mon, Tues, Wed, Thurs, Fri, Sat, Sun: 08:00 - 04:00

CVV Sao Paulo - National Association
Rua Herculano de Freitas
273 - Cerqueira César
CERQUEIRA CESAR
CEP 01308-020
Sao Paulo - SP
Hotline: 55 11 31514109
Website: cvv.org.br
E-mail Helpline: central@cvv.org.br
Centres

CVV - Belém
Rua Sem. Manoel Barata, 718 S/ 404
Ed. Infante de Sagres
Bairro Campina
CEP 66015-020
BELEM - PA
Hotline: (91) 3223-0074
Website: cvv.org.br
24 Hour service:

CVV - Belo Horizonte
Rua Des. Barcelos, 1286
CEP 30480-250
BELO HORIZONTE - MG
Hotline: (31) 334-4111
Website: cvv.org.br
24 Hour service:

[Fishmanpa]

Whenever I see something that I've never heard of, I know that Dr Google is at the root of it. This is a pretty rare condition as I thought it would be but it's most certainly treatable.

It truly would be prudent to just wait for a doctors appointment or perhaps go to a walk in clinic if you can. It would be quite sad to do something drastic and it turned it is was just a pimple or cyst.

Positive thoughts

[Haylee.a]

Last weekend I self diagnosed myself with lukemia! I was convinced!!! I noticed some bruising on my legs so decided to google it! Then see all the symptoms and decided I matched up with most of them!!! Blood rushed through me as I read the symptoms and I was convinced 100 per cent I had it!!! Made myself take a trip to the doctors to have a mole checked, and asked if my veins looked ok? Because I was convinced I have a blood disorder either way my symptoms narrow down to lukemia!!! (Previously I had a full blood count fine ) was told I had iron defiancy anaemia which of course again can be linked to that dreaded word again!!! I said to the doctor would it have been picked up in my blood test of there was anything alarming or serious wrong with my blood? And she said yes!!! She's now upped my dosage to 20 mg!!! Honestly I keep obsessing over any little blood spot, bruise , vein etc on my skin its driving me insAne �� trouble is with us anxiety sufferers we don't just think oh I'll get that checked , we find something, google it, think the absolute worst then obsess over it until we've convinced ourselves that we are dying of that disease we've self diagnosed our selfs with!!! I've joined this forum to stop myself from googling symptoms because I actually started doing it on a daily basis and it was starting to take over my life!!!! So please take it from me! Unless you have any major major concerns that need dealing with there and then instead of googling we need to used health service!!! Ours is nhs direct in England!!! It's just much safer than google! Feel better soon and try not to worry over slight things! (Easier said than done I of all people know that) there's been times I've sat shaking uncontrollably thinking this is it I've got a fatal disease and they ain't going to catch it!!! Fact is! We as anxiety suffers go to the doctors before anything can even have a chance to start so even if something is discovered it's been monitored closely by ourselves and doctors �� xx

[1357]

I think it's slowly getting worse, I just wish i could see my derm / therapist sooner...

I found a spot on my armpit that I'm assuming is a blackhead, but I don't know if it is...I've been desperately trying to get it out for a long time now and now the skin around it is red and hurting...I want to keep trying just to make sure but it's just going to make things worse. I wish this would end.

---------- Post added at 00:15 ---------- Previous post was at 00:13 ----------

It's not even the disease itself that I'm so scared of, I'm scared of the psychological effects. I don't want to feel even worse about myself than I already do. I'm already shy, have low self-esteem, and difficulty entering romantic relationships ...But with a disease that causes huge lumps to appear on my body all the time, those things will be literally impossible for me.