Feeling guilty

[heths]

Has anyone lied to cover up that you have anxiety/agoraphobia etc?

I'd class myself as an honest person, but I always through my life have tried to cover up when i'm anxious. And when I became agoraphobic I didn't want anyone knowing. I felt scared of what others would say and think. So I'd do what I could to cover it up from people. Most people I know, now do know I have problems.

One of my friends lives abroad and I did eventually tell him I was agoraphobic, but at first I lied and told him I was working when I wasn't and acted like there was nothing wrong with me. He believed me.

Since i've told him i'm agoraphobic he's been good about it, but I feel guilty about lying before. He still thinks that I was ok and working when I said I was and he thinks the agoraphobia happened after that.

I don't know whether to tell him that i lied before or not. I'm worried of what he'll say if I do. But I don't know if I'll stop feeling guilty if I don't tell him.

[Piglet]

Heather this is my year of 'going public with panic' too as spending the last 7 years trying to hide it hasn't got me very far.

I applaud your being open, so continue with it most definately - however we don't have to tell everybody every possible detail of our lives, unless it has a particular bearing!!

I think you've told him what matters, I wouldn't worry about what is after all just semantics really!!

Love Piglet :)

[Issy_Bum]

I lie all the time about it. I feel horrible but I can never be honest when I don't want to do something, I just make up an excuse.

[honeybee]

i'm the same, when old mates come back from uni or whatever and wanna catch up i always make excuses.. i feel like i'm trapped within a disability, i'm almost ashamed because i know its so irrational.. its really hard. people have a go at me for not getting my ar*e into gear and learn to drive but noone understands.. its really hard

[Karen]

Hi Heather

I too don't think you need to feel you 'have to' tell anyone any aspect of your life that you don't want them to know or feel comfortable about. Someone with a physical illness of any kind wouldn't think they had to tell everyone what that illness was or how long they'd had it so why should you if you don't want to?

I also experience guilt about not being completely honest with people. However, I also don't think I have to tell everyone everything either, although I used to feel that way. Guilt is a destructive emotion.

You've told your friend what you are happy for him to know and it was brave of you to tell him in the first place.

Karen xx

[wobily_lin]

Elo Heather,

Don't beat urself up bout it hun.....you did so well to tell ur friend anything as so many here just keep it a secret..well done.

As Piglet said, we don't have to tell everyone all of our stuff, if you feel like telln you're friend then tell him but personally i dont think it matters for how long........the fact you told your friend is an achievement in itself..x

[heths]

Thanks everyone.

To my friend abroad, I didn't just say I was working at that time, I made up a job and what I did there. I wish I had just told him the truth.

I will try to not feel guilty, it's hard. Especially as he's been so good about my problems.

Thank you everyone for your replies.