View Full Version : I am in a struggle with my OCD and I need some advice.
What I am about to describe is not for the faint of heart so turn back if youve just soft of heart.
Hi guys, I have OCD and I have had complex PTSD from my experiences during my childhood. I was abused and beaten for most of my childhood and psychologically tortured nightly. My former step-father is profoundly mentally ill (bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, anti-social personality disorder) and at several points had tried to kill my mother and once tried to set me up for it. I was told how useless I was daily and had the shit beaten out of me like I was a beat 'em up blow up doll. I was bullied daily as a child up until High School where puberty and being intelligent saved my ass. I had days where I got my shit pummeled in school and kicked in at home after I was forced to walk 5 miles in the rain to my house. I saw horrible things daily, soul shattering things that will stick with me for the rest of my very existence. I've seen just how horrible human beings can be and the variety of base things that accompany it. I try my hardest to keep a smile on my face but I just have a face of stone or I laugh too hard that I look like an insincere douchebag. I struggled so hard in my life to learn social skills but I feel almost as if I am losing them again.
I cant sleep with covers on my bed anymore because I just kick them off constantly when I have my night terrors. I have become an extremely short tempered person and I just cant deal with people anymore. Recently my OCD has taken a turn for the worst and has started playing with my paranoia. I believe someone is out to get me and frame me for a crime I didnt commit. I am no criminal and I have no plans on committing any crimes. I constantly check to see if everything is in its right place and watch everything like a hawk and panic if it isnt. I have an extremely intense fear of being set up as a rapist or a pedophile or something horrible and disturbing and the very thought is like a kick to the stomach with cleats and it is a highly visceral feeling. The very concept of going to prison for something I didnt do makes me want to break down and just sob. I have strange coincidences that my OCD loves to prey upon. Sometimes when I think of something obscure it will pop up, at first I thought this was cute parlor trick but then it turned into an obsession then extreme fear that I can somehow dictate whats about to happen to me. I have this gut feeling that something horrible is gonna happen when I turn 19 because I heard someone mention the song "I was only 19" (yeah it sounds stupid.) I just keep having this intense gut feelings something horrible is about to happen and I refuse to live like this anymore and I have decided to tell myself this is the end of the line. I want my god damn mind back.
By writing this out in detail I hope atleast I am heading in the right direction.
Hey sharkster, welcome to the forum. I do believe you re in the right direction looking for help and writing out your story.
I wont be able to give advice in every single topic but I can in two of them.
Regarding coincidences, well this happened to me a few months ago I still have them every single day just yesterday, I saw a picture of jesus and said to myself "If they only knew he probably was black, and after I found a joke with the same thing on reddit" I used to freak out but its important to understand de science behind this. Your mind is developed to find matching things around you and have "Aha" moments, its easy to think that there might be a relationship between A and B, because of logic or in our case anxiety, this fuels fears or magical thinking (in my case Solopism), so if you have coincidences relax your mind is working properly, just don't react on them, do not try to find logic behind it just breath and move fowards.
And regarding paranoia, we all got at some point paranoid, I did with all the solopism, the best way for me was to challenge the thought, you had this thoughts of being thrown to jail for something you didnt do, but you are not in jail ergo its just a thought.
Best of lucks
Tom
hi and welcome,
What Tom said is brilliant. I'd also suggest if you haven't already trying to get some therapy and or medication. In terms of slowing my mind down so that it wasn't constantly racing with anxious thoughts medication really helped. Then I had Cognitive behavioural therapy which was a valuable tool to help fight the compulsions.
Vicky
Alright. guys. I am going to look into trying this, thank you so much!
No problem buddy, check my posts there are a lot of things regarding Coincidences from my own experience and really helpful advices from the user MyNameIsTerry, also if you like check his post regarding mindfulness its on his signature after every post.
No problem buddy, check my posts there are a lot of things regarding Coincidences from my own experience and really helpful advices from the user MyNameIsTerry, also if you like check his post regarding mindfulness its on his signature after every post.
Yeah, i noticed him when i was lurking around the forums a month ago. Ill keep an eye on that. Thanks.
Man, I cant catch a break. I searched two bad movies in a row with the premise of "being framed" and now my mind is starting to talk.
It happens man, but its a common topic if you think about it. I can remember two or three like those, where magically tom cruise or liam neeson is te actor. Just don't pay attention to it, go watch a comedy or a no brain movie.
MyNameIsTerry
28-12-15, 20:00
Man, I cant catch a break. I searched two bad movies in a row with the premise of "being framed" and now my mind is starting to talk.
That's a checking compulsion by the sounds of it. It will only reinforce anxiety though.
When you seek to prove something, do you also seek to disprove it too?
That's a checking compulsion by the sounds of it. It will only reinforce anxiety though.
When you seek to prove something, do you also seek to disprove it too?
Yeah, you are right. I am seeking reassurance I guess. I keep having this anticipation of doom and I think I keep seeing signs. I am not too happy about the turning 19 omen either.
Thats the thing shark that is no omen, omens do not exist its just magical thinking working yourself up. As it means something bad your head is aware of it, turn it into something good make it your lucky number then your brain would stop caring. Another thing you can do is change the focus to another number and you will see how attention is managed by you.
Those two worked for me :D
MyNameIsTerry
28-12-15, 23:32
With Magical Thinking, use a Behavioural Experiment. Set out to prove that you can't magically influence events which in turn proves no matter what you do, what will be will be.
I often mention how we think such unlikely things but forget that we all want to win the lottery yet thinking "I will win the lottery" achieves nothing but failure over & over again. Isn't that proof we can't do things with our minds?
There are so many opportunities to make something an omen. How many times have I walked past a streetlight for it to turn off. Did I drain the energy? No, because I don't feel any different and I know you can't switch them off like that anyway. But why only one in the row? I don't know, but I also don't need to know anyway as I'm not a magical being capable of achieving it...if I were you may see me on the X-Files at some point!
And put it thid way, terry mentioned the X files yesterday I saw the movie of the X files and Im hyped for the new season coming this january. What should I think this could be intepreted as a coincidences and I could be freaking out but its just that
MyNameIsTerry
29-12-15, 04:58
And I said X-Files because anything strange or out of the ordinary in terms of our abilities could make it as a storyline...and that is a common association. Before then X-Files it was The Twilight Zone and somewhere in between, The Outer Limits. (and what about Eerie Indiana?)
Coincidence is everywhere if you look for it. You can say something and someone replies they were thinking about that yesterday.
It only ever means any form of harm because you attempt to attach one to it.
We also only look at it from our own experience and this is where other people like Tom come in handy because it shows it's not just us and then you need to think about how many more people it happens to thus making it more common and less meaningful.
If I think about my old History class today and next week bump into the teacher, what does it mean? What does it change or achieve? Nothing.
We are also not good at looking at these things and noticing the amount of time between them. If it happens straight away, you may think coincidence but the longer in between and the less it is and more so it is about your bias towards it.
You know, you guys are right. I need to challenge my thoughts for once. It feels just so scary though. On coincidence, i think my mind is actually looking for it and I can swear that things I have thought I have never seen before are really things I have.
This all seems like a big mental construct powered by fear the more I take a look at it. Now that I am calm from working out I can probably get down to brass tacks and start dismantling it.
Edit: I am starting to experience some serious deja vu
MyNameIsTerry
30-12-15, 07:48
It really does look for it, sharkster. I had periods of paranoia when I was really bad and I can tell you that I'm nothing like that now. It's more challenging for you as you hav the autism to navigate through too but you can do it.
With the paranoia I would spend hours ruminating over what I said, what someone said, the physical clues to behaviour, what this email "really" meant, the hidden meanings behind words, etc. I did have some pressure here as I was fighting my employer at the time and they were playing dirty tricks (e.g. changing signed paperwork) which was a big cause but my anxiety levels of the time were the biggest cause of it all. Once you come out the other end you look back and see it more clearly. Your attitude changes.
I found learning Cognitive Distortion a big help to me. I learned to question things in a more guided way based on avoiding the traps in that.
This put everything in perspective for me
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZtQEXW0lVts
Mother****er, I keep seeing 11:11. Damn you B-MI.
---------- Post added at 18:52 ---------- Previous post was at 15:06 ----------
My thoughts are starting to recede as I keep working out. It has really, really helped me and I can not over recommend it for anyone having similar problems. I am starting to get more of a grip on my OCD.
My paranoia is starting to become more manageable the more I challenge and refuse to do my rituals. Who would frame me and what would they gain from it? The more I use my logic the more this seems like a smoke screen generated fear and guilt. Why would I go to prison? I have done nothing wrong and I try to keep my anger in check so thats out of the window. I have also tried to focus on the present instead of the past or the future which helps a bit.
I am glad we could help you out shark! The steps are clear, calm yourself down, use logic, learn ignore. works like a charm!
I am glad we could help you out shark! The steps are clear, calm yourself down, use logic, learn ignore. works like a charm!
I am on the path to recovery but its still gonna be a long road and going to be an effort to stay recovered. I am gonna stick around here. I about solved most of my problems and I can probably help people with similar problems. I took a bootleggers turn from where I was a while ago. The pain was intense and I wanted to stop living and I felt like my life was totally over but now I can see some light at the end of the tunnel here. I will have flare ups but I can manage it a lot better now. Talking about my fear helped so much because I felt alone and like I was a freak. Exposing my fear was probably one of the biggest factors that helped because I no longer gave it space to bounce around in.
The forum is all about that, helping each other and realizing you are not alone in this. We all had our ups and downs, but the most important thing I believe is reach out to others, share our experience and give a helping hand to the ones in need.
Anxious people UNITE haha :roflmao:
I got linked this and I got creeped out by coincidence.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fRfMk3Fs5Es
Maybe its just pseudoscience.
Its not weird at all, Im sure you use google right? and you have googled many things regarding probability and coincidences right? Youtube is owned by google so 2+2= 4. But that site, howstuffwork, its pretty amazing if you like that stuff
Its not weird at all, Im sure you use google right? and you have googled many things regarding probability and coincidences right? Youtube is owned by google so 2+2= 4. But that site, howstuffwork, its pretty amazing if you like that stuff
Yeah, its amazing stuff. I am still recovering but I just cant shake this feeling. That funny feeling I had when I heard that phrase still makes me feel very very funny. I am having trouble stepping over this. Almost as if I know something. My birthday is tomorrow and I want to atleast be happy.
I think I am just gonna try surrendering all together. I am tired and I havent tried it yet. These "worst scenario" things if I do X is stupid and tiring. I just want to refuse to give it anymore thought but I dont know if I truly just can drop it.
MyNameIsTerry
04-01-16, 07:06
In time, it's possible, yes. But be realistic because taking the acceptance route isn't easy and you don't want to put an unrealistic timescale on it and frustrate yourself as well as make yourself anxious about a deadline.
Don't surrender to compulsions though, they are reinforcers. So, look at your compulsions which are likely going to be heavily mental based with a Pure O form.
I am starting to think my medication is having a backfire effect. My shrink I usually go to isnt answering. I am gonna go find a new one I guess. My magical thinking has taken the wheel.
MyNameIsTerry
11-01-16, 07:21
Is it because the anxiety is raising? What happens if you bring that down through things like your exercise? Does it help bring the OCD down?
Is it because the anxiety is raising? What happens if you bring that down through things like your exercise? Does it help bring the OCD down?
Lifting is to what nuclear weapons are to a knife fight. Exercise absolutely blows OCD out of the water and more I go the less it wants to talk. The only problem is magical thinking is bothering me even when OCD has left the building. The coincidences are creepy. The more calm I am the more I notice this is a major cog in the machine. It's whats dragging my symptoms and obsessions.
Coincidences master here, it takes a while to stop noticing them. What keeps it going is that whenever you notice a coincidence you either apply logic or treat it as danger.
Remove the power from them by not reacting, because they are just that, coincidences are similirarities found in the brain and connected by us. The connection you make is magical thinking, which is nuts isnt it?
Whenever you found one, shrug your shoulders and say to yourself "Well thats just how the world is". Accept events as they are.
Tom
That's the thing though isn't it. Hell, I joked with myself avout shitting bllod and just now i just did.
That honestly is not a coincidence dude, you may have ate something that you know causes you that or shitting blood has happened to you before and your mind just connected A and B. You give too much meaning to those things. AND EVEN if it where the case and you have some ninja abilities, then start making money out of it, lots of people claim they have this higher perception and they are not insane in fact does sleazy *******s make money out of it.
Take my advice coincidences happen when you put your attention to every little thing that happens in your life, thats called hyper vigilance.
MyNameIsTerry
12-01-16, 05:29
Yeah, I agree with Tom because before you were anxious they would still be happening but you wouldn't notice them like you do now. It's the same with the many odd thoughts that just pop up out of nowhere.
Paranoia & anxiety are partners in crime, you often experience them both. When I was at my worst I would see "issues" everywhere. I would think people were looking at me a certain way for reason, I would see something in something written to me that I thought meant something far more. That's what the anxious mind does, looks for threats. When it's switched on too much, it creates them.
Magical thinking has been one of mine. It's a bit like we think we have superpowers. I can't tell you the amount of lamp posts I've walked past which has either gone off or come on the exact second I was level with them. Spooky eh? But I've worked in that industry and now how the grids work and I know there isn't some guy with a camera watching thinking "lets freak this bloke out" but it happens loads. BUT how many times does it happen to everyone else? I don't know, I have not conducted a study to determine it, hence assuming it's just me or more me, is false as complete Confirmation Bias.
Have you guys ever experienced this deja vu doubt feeling? Like I think i have seen this then going nope I havent. It's sowin havoc on me.
MyNameIsTerry
14-01-16, 05:26
Yeah, tons of times in my life and many of them before my anxiety started. You do notice them more with anxiety but unless you are extremely sensitised or your anxiety leans to things like that anyway (like you & Tom), then it's a minor one and it just goes as you become calmer on a more regular basis.
Tom will tell you all about deja vu, he's talked about it before on here. To me it's just the mind attempting to make assumptions BUT something I remember saying to Tom when he joined was about faces her thought he had seen before. Perhaps he had. We tend to forget that out vision takes the full image and it gets stored in memory with associations to things. Now, the memory can recall anything in that image, even small details we miss as they were perhaps in the background. So, is it really deja vu then?
I was watching a TV programme last night called Total Wipeout. It's one where they have a few rounds of eliminating members of the public on water/mud based assault courses. The final 3 ran the "wipeout" zone. One was excellent all the way through each previous round, one was good and another sneaked through as an outsider due to an error by someone better. So, the "good" guy runs the "wipeout zone" in 1:23 seconds. That's a very good time and was a record at the time. The "outsider" steps up, the underdog. I turn to my dad and say 'wouldn't it be hilarious if this average guy beat the other guy by 1 second'. Can you guess what happened? Yes, he really did do it in 1:22 seconds!!!
What did I think about? Well, apart from laughing with my dad and being happy to see an underdog win over a better contestant who was a bit smug...I thought of you guys! Why did I do that? Because I associate what we have discussed with things like that because they are the themes you talk about. If I hadn't spent time talking to you on here, how would I a) be able to make an association to your discussions and b) even know you?
It didn't make me anxious because my anxiety isn't based around those themes but if someone with those themes saw what I did, they may be posting on here about it.
I just bought a movie (pretty good too) and I am having these prediction thoughrs come true. I understand the explosion in the beginning since my brain wa probably back cataloging that from the trailer but I have been thinking of an actor I havent see in a while pops up and bam, panic attack.
Man, OCD can you like- tie an anchor to yourself and jump off a bridge.
MyNameIsTerry
15-01-16, 05:21
That's happened to me before, and before my anxiety started too. It's usually someone who hasn't been seen much for years and then they pop up. They also start to pop up a lot too and you read into that.
I had intrusive thoughts about jumping off bridges. Scary at first. It's like your anxiety is a bully egging you on "go on...do it". OCD and it's urges.
[QUOTE=MyNameIsTerry;1510954]That's happened to me before, and before my anxiety started too. It's usually someone who hasn't been seen much for years and then they pop up. They also start to pop up a lot too and you read into that.
I had intrusive thoughts about jumping off bridges. Scary at first. It's like your anxiety is a bully egging you on "go on...do it". OCD and it's urges.[/QUOTE
Haha Terry, no I literally just wish my OCD would personify and jump off a cliff. I just cant enjoy anything with my mind suggesting there is some hidden meaning behind it and magical thinking is straight out terrifying at times as you know. I have fallen into a pit of discarded bear traps called magical thinking I wish I had a ladder in sight.
Son of a bitch, I was thinking about a time when I was at summer camp and a friend caught a shiny pokemon. Just now i am playing pokemon and a damn shiny jumps ouy. Maybe I can work for NASA hahaha.
LOL, see they are not a big deal. I had a few coincidences lately. First I was thinking about those grown ass people that like to dress as babies like a fetish thing (because of a family guy episode) next day I saw a post on a site about that particular thing, on the same site there is this famous guy that made some funny vids that was banned, I went to his old user to check his posts and later that day a guy made a post about him and how he banished. Today I was watching tv and the matrix revolution was coming up, I opened 9gag and a post about the matrix came up.
So are all this weird coincidences that I should worry about? Answer me and take a look at your "coincidences"
LOL, see they are not a big deal. I had a few coincidences lately. First I was thinking about those grown ass people that like to dress as babies like a fetish thing (because of a family guy episode) next day I saw a post on a site about that particular thing, on the same site there is this famous guy that made some funny vids that was banned, I went to his old user to check his posts and later that day a guy made a post about him and how he banished. Today I was watching tv and the matrix revolution was coming up, I opened 9gag and a post about the matrix came up.
So are all this weird coincidences that I should worry about? Answer me and take a look at your "coincidences"
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Law_of_large_numbers
Today I learned about this and it's really interesting and it seems to explain the pokemon coincidence. I am starting to realise there is no real danger and the danger I see in them is what I have assigned to them to gather some meaning I suppose.
Yeah thats basically the frequency illusion in action. You will only remember the times a coincidence happened and not the times it did not. So its really subjective.
Okay OCD, if my thoughts are magical then the Syrian war will end today and I'll be a billionaire
Lol I woud really wish you have that power, my way of breaking the magical thinking is by saying "If this is true then the walls will start to bleed"
Okay, so those didnt happen today. Today is nuclear war day.
MyNameIsTerry
19-01-16, 09:00
Okay OCD, if my thoughts are magical then the Syrian war will end today and I'll be a billionaire
Well that either means you are experiencing magical thinking or you are going to be elected as their new top man. :winks:
---------- Post added at 09:00 ---------- Previous post was at 08:59 ----------
Lol I woud really wish you have that power, my way of breaking the magical thinking is by saying "If this is true then the walls will start to bleed"
That's a good test.
I also like "a tremendously hot woman will appear in the corner of my bedroom". But is it test...I know that one ain't coming true!!! :roflmao:
I just keep testing my thoughts. I have a thought pass my head that said "they have to be realistic" but then I went "why?"
MyNameIsTerry
20-01-16, 06:21
Why indeed? Why would intrusive thoughts need to be realistic? Many of them aren't and that's why they can often be scary too, like they represent another side of ourselves.
Wouldn't it be true to say that to attempt to control them in this way is attempting to control something outside of your control, your subconscious? Isn't it only the same as saying 'I want to completely stop my intrusive thoughts', a goal we are told not to pursue since it's impossible anyway...hence making it a subtle perfectionism issue?
Watching that Hitler and the Occult documentary was probably a bad idea. So many coincidences haha.
MyNameIsTerry
24-01-16, 05:00
Ah, those programmes are an interesting experiment in how people attempt to link the events to further back in the past. Funny how no one did that before in many cases though so is it truly discover or Confirmation Bias? Given many theories end up getting debunked or just ridiculed, it can be the latter.
Those things are going to be like exposure therapy for you, sharkster.
I sent you a PM, Terry. BTW, I changed my name since I didnt like sharkster1 as much as this lol.
MyNameIsTerry
26-01-16, 05:39
That did confuse me! Ok, I'll get to it shortly, just catching up at the moment.
Hey gatsby or sharkster or buddy lol,
Remember the video I sent you some weeks ago? it talked a little bit about how can you make connections well with everything and treat them as coincidences, re watch the vid as it did help you before. Annnnd how are you two doing? Im really better with the OCD and the sexual ocd is dropping so Im happy haha
Hey gatsby or sharkster or buddy lol,
Remember the video I sent you some weeks ago? it talked a little bit about how can you make connections well with everything and treat them as coincidences, re watch the vid as it did help you before. Annnnd how are you two doing? Im really better with the OCD and the sexual ocd is dropping so Im happy haha
I am starting to get level up and I dont have as severe OCD attacks anymore. I found an exact copy of my fears and I guess it was reassuring that I wasnt completely alone and I have something to work with a therapist about. Terry is pretty right about OCD in particular POCD being difficult to treat. I am no where near the end of the tunnel but I can see the light atleast. I am not gonna timetable myself to strictly but I think I can tackle this in 8 months tops with professional help. Atleast I know for sure now what kind strain it is and basically I guess what I can do is develop a long term strategy to get rid of it or atleast put it in a jar.
MyNameIsTerry
27-01-16, 08:52
Good to hear you guys are getting forward on these things. I'm ok thanks, just pushing through the usual issues bit by bit.
Good to hear you guys are getting forward on these things. I'm ok thanks, just pushing through the usual issues bit by bit.
That's generally all people in our shoes can do. Deal with the bs and keep marching.
I consulted Dr. Google again. I just don't know why I have this feeling of impending doom feeling. A melancholy feeling I just cant shake.
MyNameIsTerry
28-01-16, 07:54
I get it too, it's unpleasant. Mine is usually more about the physical symptom itself as I was always symptom focussed with my GAD.
Google isn't the problem though, it's how the person searching looks at it. I have no issues with using Google or anything else for health related problems because my anxiety has never been about health.
Getting on with something can help with these types of feelings, like some exercise. How about doing some lifting and see if it helps your mood?
I get the same doom feeling and I would agree with Terry go out and do some exercise but for the love of god stop googling, us pure-o get into a rabbit hole by googling, fixating the search to find the answer we want not the one that it is.
I decided to stop googling as it was an impulse, I google stuff but not related to my health or surrounding anxiety if its not a good thing, as new breathing techniques or ways to overcome particular sensations. When anxious you google thinking you already have that or you are something in particular thats why you get to the dark side of google.
If you find the need too google, google something completely unrelated or don't google at all do something else, trust your GP or your therapist and talk about your concerns with them.
I get the same doom feeling and I would agree with Terry go out and do some exercise but for the love of god stop googling, us pure-o get into a rabbit hole by googling, fixating the search to find the answer we want not the one that it is.
I decided to stop googling as it was an impulse, I google stuff but not related to my health or surrounding anxiety if its not a good thing, as new breathing techniques or ways to overcome particular sensations. When anxious you google thinking you already have that or you are something in particular thats why you get to the dark side of google.
If you find the need too google, google something completely unrelated or don't google at all do something else, trust your GP or your therapist and talk about your concerns with them. I worked out this morning and I have been calm ever since. It seems to fight off the doom feeling.
Yeah, i should probably pick up the practice of googling every symptom and playing shrink with myself. I only really seem to google it when I am stressed.
I get it too, it's unpleasant. Mine is usually more about the physical symptom itself as I was always symptom focussed with my GAD.
Google isn't the problem though, it's how the person searching looks at it. I have no issues with using Google or anything else for health related problems because my anxiety has never been about health.
Getting on with something can help with these types of feelings, like some exercise. How about doing some lifting and see if it helps your mood?
I worked out this morning and I have been calm ever since. It seems to fight off the doom feeling. I feel uneasy but I dont have a panic feeling.
On another note my thoughts are getting harder to associate with coincidental thoughts like "I thought about x and it happened? Did it really? Wait, did I even have that thought?" and it tires me out. I think I had a thought about an Amber alert (its when a child is in extreme danger and is missing here in Florida) and a warning on my phone pops up. I really hope they are okay. Man, i just want it all to stop. I cant wait to beat this ****ing thing.
MyNameIsTerry
31-01-16, 08:03
That's good, finding something that works is like gold dust! You obviously benefit from the reduction in adrenaline and changes in hormones that exercise brings. It will help you sleep deeper too.
Constant questioning will not only wear you out but keep your anxiety reinforced. It's a compulsion and really it's better to learn to accept and let it go. Challenging is good too but it has structure and ends with a closing thought whereas worry & rumination reaches that point and just starts all over again.
Why not ask yourself whether thinking you had a thought as opposed to knowing is anything other than an attempt to make an association, even out of something you never thought of. Maybe you just feel that sense of deja vu or an urge and you take it to mean you might have had a thought and then talk yourself into it?
I had a good day. I had only like 3 incidents of really obsessive thoughts and I was really I was able to do away with them by just letting them slide. Whether I am just experiencing a low in my anxiety or I am actually improving only time will tell. The only one troubling thought I had today is when i saw a clickbait article while looking for a walkthrough on something and I saw this thing like "20 celebs who did awful things" and I saw this one black dude and I guess the pic stuck in my head from that and coincidentally google autocorrected a name and I saw him I think. I really think it was just Baader-Meinhof screwing with me. I dont know whether my anxiety is just low or I am getting progressively better at dealing with it.
MyNameIsTerry
06-02-16, 08:30
Google autocorrect is a pain in backside! I remember when it first came out, it was causing me to search for all manner of stuff I didn't want. It reminded me the old T9 predictive text when it first came out and you spent longer correcting the wrong words it picked than if you had typed it the old fashioned way with your numeric keys!
Sounds like a step in the right direction to me. Now you have seen that you can take control of this and from here you will hopefully see it passing through with less hold on you for more & more days. I found this. At first it was never ending but then I got one easier day, then it went up to two, etc.
However, you do get bumps in the road, blips. It's never a smooth curve in recovery. So, when they come do what you can to not let yourself catastrophize about slipping backwards. Blips get easier to manage though because you learn to handle them better and you become stronger as your recovery marches on.
Well done! :yesyes::yahoo:
Well, I have been thinking long and hard and I have my eyes set on a degree in psychology. I'd like to specialize in PTSD, OCD and autism. The more I look at this and how hard it has been to deal with this all has made look at how very quickly I could have fallen into a dark hole if I didn't seek help. Yeah, Terry. I am just looking forward now. I am currently going 1 incident of OCD today and the day is almost over. This entire thing has been a mental charade. It's a fog that was scary to push my arm through but at last it's dissipating.
Speaking of baader meinhof take a look here:https://m.reddit.com/r/aww/comments/44i5ar/seals/
Now I can't stop seeing 111, and people are even talking about it. :sofa:
Just had a minor panic attack. Grandpa is watching a prison documentary and it's talking about pwople being killed. Scared. Heart pounding a biy.
Hey dude,
regarding the 111 its exactly like it was to me with the number 23, its just a number you attach meaning to it and so does your attention nothing more complex than that. Try Relaxing a bit or as I do writing it out with some smooth jazz.
I love how this thread has become so populated hahah
Hey dude,
regarding the 111 its exactly like it was to me with the number 23, its just a number you attach meaning to it and so does your attention nothing more complex than that. Try Relaxing a bit or as I do writing it out with some smooth jazz.
I love how this thread has become so populated hahah
Yeah, I just lifted for a few hours and took a nap then calmed down. This has been my first panic attack in a while thankfully. I probably have a common problem if its this populated or people are just curious lol.
Edit: 2:08 here. Cant sleep. Looks like I just need to deal with my fears. I already desensitized myself to certain words but I still have work.
Cant sleep. Stupid friend triggered OCD. Coincidences in a row all day. So tired. I feel like my soul has been torn out and handed back to me. My ocd is better, but at what cost to my mind? My body feels so heavy.
MyNameIsTerry
09-02-16, 09:29
Well done for desensitising some of your keywords, it's not easy task at all! :yesyes::yahoo:
I find reading helps with clearing my mind before bed. I can get into a story and it takes my focus away from other things.
Well done for desensitising some of your keywords, it's not easy task at all! :yesyes::yahoo:
I find reading helps with clearing my mind before bed. I can get into a story and it takes my focus away from other things.
Yeah, I am acting listening to this Tom Clancy novel atm. Suspenseful stuff. Who knows what these wacky North Koreans will get into next. *grabs popcorn*
Yeah, I am acting listening to this Tom Clancy novel atm. Suspenseful stuff. Who knows what these wacky North Koreans will get into next. *grabs popcorn*
Oh those North Koreans! They and their crazy ideas *80's intro music intensifies*
MyNameIsTerry
10-02-16, 05:10
Team America World Police springs to mind! :biggrin:
There are only a few haircuts sanctioned for men in that country. This made me laugh when it happened:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-27038723
Team America World Police springs to mind! :biggrin:
There are only a few haircuts sanctioned for men in that country. This made me laugh when it happened:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-27038723
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lwoSFQb5HVk this always makes me crack up in a grin.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VJNBfBr-OGU this one is pretty good too. NK is literally like a dystopian disney world of a country.
Anyways, my PC is making my OCD spike. I had a thought that my PC would lose internet or something and what happens? It does. I see on my adblock that it has blocked 1111 ads. Atleast I didnt panic. I should try to keep on course for mindfulness. The fear is real.
You may have thought about that because you been having issues with conectivity and your brain just connected the dots. And coming across the number 111 its really easy. Just ignore them, you have experience this and nothing has happened therefore nothing will happen you are just noticing a pattern
LOL talking about all this coincidences I had one, yesterday I was talking about this all black house that is located in germany today in 9gag I saw a post about that, should I worry ? Nah, most likely I saw it on trending or fresh forgot about it and today I saw the post again and remember the conversation. See how this work?
LOL talking about all this coincidences I had one, yesterday I was talking about this all black house that is located in germany today in 9gag I saw a post about that, should I worry ? Nah, most likely I saw it on trending or fresh forgot about it and today I saw the post again and remember the conversation. See how this work?
Yeah, I am starting to calm. I can't shake this feeling I am being watched. My steam disconnects at very strange times and it's when certain topics are discussed. I was talking about with a friend about how the taliban has retaken power in Afghanistan and he pointed out how the Afghan army are a bunch of child rapists and good riddance. Shortly after I agreed I went offline. We have established I am not a weirdo, but I get this feeling someone is watching what I am doing and is trying to frame me. I love playing games but I am scared to death. Good doc though. But man do I feel weird.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Ja5Q75hf6QI
Yeah, I am starting to calm. I can't shake this feeling I am being watched. My steam disconnects at very strange times and it's when certain topics are discussed. I was talking about with a friend about how the taliban has retaken power in Afghanistan and he pointed out how the Afghan army are a bunch of child rapists and good riddance. Shortly after I agreed I went offline. We have established I am not a weirdo, but I get this feeling someone is watching what I am doing and is trying to frame me. I love playing games but I am scared to death. Good doc though. But man do I feel weird.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Ja5Q75hf6QI
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p6hnC6QLvfo This video is for you my friend
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p6hnC6QLvfo This video is for you my friend
I just experienced it, i was watching a clip from something and it was a homage to this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FcyLRTB9fRY
What a coincidence, I was replying to that one threat about Schindlers list.
Apprehensive feeling. Feeling of dread at the moment. Tired.
Minor prediction thoughts coming true. Not scared, just boosting apprehension. I think he'll send me a friend request, then he does. Stuff like that. Happy thoughts i guess.
MyNameIsTerry
19-02-16, 07:16
Try to challenge it, gatsby. Loads of people will have listened to that music. You already listened to that with no prior knowledge that they did too.
We have to remember that there are so many possibilities to make an association between things to create a coincidence. You could look up a person and find they are wearing a red t-shirt, as are you. That could be made into a coincidence by your anxiety too. You could both be right-handed. You could both be holding a cup or a pencil or anything else. Try to challenge it in ways like that. At this very minute there could be hundreds of people like me replying to a post about what you have written. The bigger the number, the more chance of coincidence. The more factors (e.g. red t-shirt, a cup, a pencil, a dog, a GF who is blonde, etc) the more chance your subconscious makes a match.
Woops, I accidentally responded to the wrong thread. I feel a bit dumb now. I am gonna try to confront these coincidences. They are just terrifying. I was in shock I guess. I looked it up today some more and this was definate case of Baader Meinhof Phenomena.
MyNameIsTerry
21-02-16, 06:52
Yes, you had a shock because something caught unprepared. Perhaps the more you condition yourself to expect them, the less they will spike you?
Yes, you had a shock because something caught unprepared. Perhaps the more you condition yourself to expect them, the less they will spike you?
Yeah, I really do need to concentratr trying to desensitize myself to things. Anyways I am afraid I am beginning to hallucinate that's audibly. I am hearing a huh noise when I have my headphones on. I heard it when it was at a certain angle. I have no internet on my pc so I don't think its a virus. I think it was a squeak by I can't seem to replicate it. I am scared.
MyNameIsTerry
22-02-16, 06:48
Not being able to replicate it doesn't mean it can't be. So, don't bias it towards being an audible hallucination because you can't recreate it.
The mind is always playing tricks on us, being sensitive to it is the problem. These things don't bother me at al these days but I still get them whether it's a figure I thought I saw or a sound.
This guy was scared of becoming a schizophrenic because of these types of sounds. He has OCD and was doing well in tackling it last time I heard form him:
http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=174792
Not being able to replicate it doesn't mean it can't be. So, don't bias it towards being an audible hallucination because you can't recreate it.
The mind is always playing tricks on us, being sensitive to it is the problem. These things don't bother me at al these days but I still get them whether it's a figure I thought I saw or a sound.
This guy was scared of becoming a schizophrenic because of these types of sounds. He has OCD and was doing well in tackling it last time I heard form him:
http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=174792
I can understand where he is coming from with a lot of that. At the beginning I am surprised I didn't think I was going schizo. I had fears someone was after me, easily angered, and was overall confused. I feel like spaghetti, just falling apart.
MyNameIsTerry
23-02-16, 06:39
Yeah, I went through a stage of paranoia mainly with my work and the battle I had with them over my absence. It was messy and I had witnesses who confirmed what I saw but it didn't help with being in such a high anxiety stage back then. I think it must be common at the harder stages, maybe there is a connection to the inability to rationalise at that point?
Yeah, I went through a stage of paranoia mainly with my work and the battle I had with them over my absence. It was messy and I had witnesses who confirmed what I saw but it didn't help with being in such a high anxiety stage back then. I think it must be common at the harder stages, maybe there is a connection to the inability to rationalise at that point?
Yeah, I think the stress does take its toll on the mind dramatically. Anxiety plays tricks and seems to love to put false feelings into people.
Starting to feel like I wanna die. I am just too tired.
MyNameIsTerry
26-02-16, 07:11
Hang in there, gatsby. I can remember feeling like that a lot going through mine but it does get better. I never thought it would back then but I know now it's not what I thought it would be remain like.
How about hitting the weights for a bit? Get some feel good hormones pumping? That always seems to help you.
Hang in there, gatsby. I can remember feeling like that a lot going through mine but it does get better. I never thought it would back then but I know now it's not what I thought it would be remain like.
How about hitting the weights for a bit? Get some feel good hormones pumping? That always seems to help you.
I am about to go to another therapist and undergo CBT and try to get this out of my head. I really dont think I could kill myself either. I have too many people that depend on me I couldnt bring myself to be so selfish. This uncertain feeling is a true killer. Yeah, i just lifted a bit and it made most of the intrusive thoughts go away. Thanks, Terry.
Gats buddy,
I been paranoid too with this coincidences believe me it DOES get better. Terry and I are living proofs of it. This thoughts this damnation feeling inside you will pass, you must stop caring about the thoughts and do other stuff instead. You already know this thoughts are just that, annoying thoughts and nothing else. Suicidal thoughts do come under lots of stress but again they are just that.
Uncertainty was destroying me from the insides and it took me a while to realize life goes on, uncertainty is beautiful, the not knowing, that this world could be more than what we see. It does seem scary but even if you have all this sensations and thoughts and shit. There are things you must take care off that are more important than this.
When you have this thoughts remember to day to yourself " This is just my anxiety, this is product of the stress im feeling " make yourself your mantra and live by it.
T, remember you can PM me anytime man
Gats buddy,
I been paranoid too with this coincidences believe me it DOES get better. Terry and I are living proofs of it. This thoughts this damnation feeling inside you will pass, you must stop caring about the thoughts and do other stuff instead. You already know this thoughts are just that, annoying thoughts and nothing else. Suicidal thoughts do come under lots of stress but again they are just that.
Uncertainty was destroying me from the insides and it took me a while to realize life goes on, uncertainty is beautiful, the not knowing, that this world could be more than what we see. It does seem scary but even if you have all this sensations and thoughts and shit. There are things you must take care off that are more important than this.
What I also have noticed is when I see 111 I usually experience a coincidence.
When you have this thoughts remember to day to yourself " This is just my anxiety, this is product of the stress im feeling " make yourself your mantra and live by it.
T, remember you can PM me anytime man
Thanks, Tom. I am really tired right now. Sorry I took so long to reply. I have been busy trying to fight my anxiety. Right now I am distressed because I keep hearing about kids being abused and I am incredibly distressed by this. It just brings me down to hear about this shit constantly. I have been able to not be triggered so hard by hearing it so that's a plus.
MyNameIsTerry
04-03-16, 07:50
It must trigger some hard emotions hearing about cases of that. But it's good that you are getting a handle on the triggers and preventing them intensifying. This is all progress along with the control you are finding over the keywords and other things.
Sadly, if you look you will always be able to find cases of child abuse, it's everywhere, and whilst this is a very personal issue to you that you must have very strong feelings about, some level of distance is required as to not let it affect you too much.
Falling into a pretty deep depression. Feel terrible. I just keep having to push myself to do simple things.
Damn, Tom isnt here anymore? Well, that sucks.
What happened to Tom?
He hasn't been on in a while.
MyNameIsTerry
16-03-16, 07:20
I'm sure he will be back, gatsby. He used to take breaks before.
How are you feeling? Are you managing to keep going through the low moods? Your work outs may help with that, if you can find a way to get them started...I know it's tough when things are like that but if not just add in bits each day and work up to it.
I'm sure he will be back, gatsby. He used to take breaks before.
How are you feeling? Are you managing to keep going through the low moods? Your work outs may help with that, if you can find a way to get them started...I know it's tough when things are like that but if not just add in bits each day and work up to it.
I guess I am okay. Coincidences still bother me but I guess I am coping. I have been having a blast in Civilization V. I was wondering since I was in a dispute over land ingame I wanted to google nuclear war in civ 5 to check the computers willingness to strike at me when I noticed "civ 5 america vs france nuclear war" which spooked me a bit. Then I thought about the protein valur in peanuts and heard people talking about protein on the tv which spooked me a bit more. I mean, I am proud that I didn't spiral into panic but this stuff is getting silly.
Hey guys Sorry, I been out I been working lots and studying even more, I can't stress this enough gats. Its just your brain finding the pattern, you see even finding this patterns nothing bad happens so try ignoring them and let them go
MyNameIsTerry
18-03-16, 04:46
Hey guys Sorry, I been out I been working lots and studying even more, I can't stress this enough gats. Its just your brain finding the pattern, you see even finding this patterns nothing bad happens so try ignoring them and let them go
Hi Tom,
Have you ever heard the phrase "were your ears burning?".
How about that for a coincidence? We were just talking about you. Now, I now I have no "summoning" powers, so it's another one to prove there is no connection to anything that our Magical Thinking would appreciate.
MyNameIsTerry
18-03-16, 10:33
I guess I am okay. Coincidences still bother me but I guess I am coping. I have been having a blast in Civilization V. I was wondering since I was in a dispute over land ingame I wanted to google nuclear war in civ 5 to check the computers willingness to strike at me when I noticed "civ 5 america vs france nuclear war" which spooked me a bit. Then I thought about the protein valur in peanuts and heard people talking about protein on the tv which spooked me a bit more. I mean, I am proud that I didn't spiral into panic but this stuff is getting silly.
Ah, but you are learning to control your reactions and this is a massive challenge. You had the same improvements with certain words too not long ago. These are all victories and they add up to push you forward.
I found at first it was non stop with nothing any better. Just nothing. Then these little improvements started and I jumped forward a stage into something better. It kept happening like that for me a few times, jumping into new better stages.
Hi Tom,
Have you ever heard the phrase "were your ears burning?".
How about that for a coincidence? We were just talking about you. Now, I now I have no "summoning" powers, so it's another one to prove there is no connection to anything that our Magical Thinking would appreciate.
Lol clearly its not, you see gats if Terry would have our obsession he would be freaking out BUT if you think about it is not much of a coincidence Im a frequent user here and even if I wasn't replying I was checking on the post every now and then when I had the time.
So guys how you two been doing?
MyNameIsTerry
20-03-16, 05:44
I'm ok thanks Tom. Having some more progress with certain things again. I seem to have kicked the intrusive thoughts with the new theme that came whenever my adrenaline was up with my blips. They didn't bother me that much but it was something else to sort out.
How are things?
Coincidence affects lots of people on here but maybe in different ways? Look at all the people on the HA board finding a raised lymph node and reaching for a cancer diagnosis? Isn't that some level of coincidence when lymph nodes raise for all sorts of reasons, most of them minor? The "connecting the wrong dots" thinking style is in there. For instance, they have seen an article about cancer, started checking and found a raised one.
I've always had Magical Thinking in mine so coincidence played it's own part for me but in that different way. Having a certain image of my parents meant needing to perform compulsions to mitigate the harm that could come to them if I didn't.
I'm ok thanks Tom. Having some more progress with certain things again. I seem to have kicked the intrusive thoughts with the new theme that came whenever my adrenaline was up with my blips. They didn't bother me that much but it was something else to sort out.
How are things?
Coincidence affects lots of people on here but maybe in different ways? Look at all the people on the HA board finding a raised lymph node and reaching for a cancer diagnosis? Isn't that some level of coincidence when lymph nodes raise for all sorts of reasons, most of them minor? The "connecting the wrong dots" thinking style is in there. For instance, they have seen an article about cancer, started checking and found a raised one.
I've always had Magical Thinking in mine so coincidence played it's own part for me but in that different way. Having a certain image of my parents meant needing to perform compulsions to mitigate the harm that could come to them if I didn't.
I am doing okay, I guess. It's good to still see you guys here. It just hurts to live right now. I am just falling into a depression from just seeing all this blatant evil in the world and first hand. Just tired and all I can do is keep moving.
MyNameIsTerry
24-03-16, 05:55
Yes, it's horrible when it's like this. It's like there is nothing to go on for.
I find you have to come to accept yourself for how you are at the moment. There is plenty of beauty in the world, we just tend to see the negative. There's a term for that in psychology, some form of bias.
Can you think about what things you have enjoyed, would like to do, etc? What can you add into your day to start showing yourself that the world isn't as dark & horrible as your mind is currently telling you?
For instance, if it was all bad, this place wouldn't exist with all of us trying to keep each other going. Why would we care about anyone else but ourselves? Yet we do and we go out of our way to.
Yes, it's horrible when it's like this. It's like there is nothing to go on for.
I find you have to come to accept yourself for how you are at the moment. There is plenty of beauty in the world, we just tend to see the negative. There's a term for that in psychology, some form of bias.
Can you think about what things you have enjoyed, would like to do, etc? What can you add into your day to start showing yourself that the world isn't as dark & horrible as your mind is currently telling you?
For instance, if it was all bad, this place wouldn't exist with all of us trying to keep each other going. Why would we care about anyone else but ourselves? Yet we do and we go out of our way to.
Gats buddy, I will have to agree with Terry, there is plenty of beauty and goodness in this world. Yes, there is also a lot of ****ed up stuff but there is more good than bad.
You been helping a lot of people here by replying to their threads and giving them helpful advices, that my friend is the good of this world in action.
This sounds like a bad movie cliche but "Be the change you want to see in this world" take some time to just go out and see how many good stuff is around you, sometimes being out in the nature helps reconnect us with ourselves and the simple beauty of this world that surrounds us
Gats buddy, I will have to agree with Terry, there is plenty of beauty and goodness in this world. Yes, there is also a lot of ****ed up stuff but there is more good than bad.
You been helping a lot of people here by replying to their threads and giving them helpful advices, that my friend is the good of this world in action.
This sounds like a bad movie cliche but "Be the change you want to see in this world" take some time to just go out and see how many good stuff is around you, sometimes being out in the nature helps reconnect us with ourselves and the simple beauty of this world that surrounds us
Thanks Tom, i really do try to sideskirt this stuff out of my mind but I am forced to stare at the world sometimes. I know first hand how horrible this planet is and I guess I am still determined to fight it. Its been less difficult now and turned into more of an war of attrition now. I feel weak, ive lost 7 pounds in a week and just try to sleep now.
I am just waiting to go back to school and get that stupid piece of paper from them and leave. I feel I am more stable than I was in 2014 and while the mental strain is still there I dont feel like I am going to have a psychotic episode as much. I was in a dark place but atleast this place is grey and I am finding my way out. Ill work my way outta this but it still feels like pulling hot shrapnel out of my leg.
Man, i love comedy. Listening to brit comedians especially does wonders for my OCD. I guess its a way of confronting what I fear.
MyNameIsTerry
28-03-16, 05:47
I love comedy too. The more laughs & smiles we can get, the better. It can elevate our moods, maybe distract us too.
Which Brit comedians are you into?
I love comedy too. The more laughs & smiles we can get, the better. It can elevate our moods, maybe distract us too.
Which Brit comedians are you into?
Jimmy Carr and Frankie Boyle. I love that really dark humor.
MyNameIsTerry
28-03-16, 07:42
So, 8 out of 10 cats and Mock the week would be good programmes for you then. I like them too, more Jimmy I think. Did Jimmy do Distraction in the US? That reminded me a bit of The Word with the things the public are willing to do just to get on the box...the naked wheelbarrow racing was funny.
Shaun Locke is good with Jimmy.
Dudes ! I had one weird ass coincidences well not that much if you think of it, Im talking with a girl(I broke up... I feel free) called karen and I told her I was going to play a song for her called The moon song.
SO I forgot a part of the song so I went looking for it, when I was writting the name of the song youtube suggested me "The moon song - Karen O" I was like damn the name of this girl and I decided to look into that song and it was part of the soundtrack of a movie a friend of mine told me some days ago (her).
So yeah... any suggestions?
I wish I knew how to help, Tom. I am undergoing a family emergency at the moment. My mother has to have her uterus and a large part of her small intestine removed. Her Crohns is severe and I am worried that I am about to lose my mother. My grandfather and myself are watching WWZ and I remembered the "I was only nineteen" quote from the book and worried this an omen that my mother is gonna die. I am scared shitless.
I wish I knew how to help, Tom. I am undergoing a family emergency at the moment. My mother has to have her uterus and a large part of her small intestine removed. Her Crohns is severe and I am worried that I am about to lose my mother. My grandfather and myself are watching WWZ and I remembered the "I was only nineteen" quote from the book and worried this an omen that my mother is gonna die. I am scared shitless.
Gats I wish you and your family the best, Im sure she will be all right. There are no omens my friend just relations made by our anxiety. If you need to talk you can always PM me.
MyNameIsTerry
31-03-16, 05:25
Dudes ! I had one weird ass coincidences well not that much if you think of it, Im talking with a girl(I broke up... I feel free) called karen and I told her I was going to play a song for her called The moon song.
SO I forgot a part of the song so I went looking for it, when I was writting the name of the song youtube suggested me "The moon song - Karen O" I was like damn the name of this girl and I decided to look into that song and it was part of the soundtrack of a movie a friend of mine told me some days ago (her).
So yeah... any suggestions?
Well the name is an obvious clue, I think. It makes sense to play a song with some relevance to the person you are dedicating it to. What made you think of it? Something in the song or did the song just sort of pop into your mind? If the later, could it be the subconscious taking in the name of her and making a connection to recall that song?
Ever heard of Mind Pops?
---------- Post added at 05:25 ---------- Previous post was at 05:19 ----------
I wish I knew how to help, Tom. I am undergoing a family emergency at the moment. My mother has to have her uterus and a large part of her small intestine removed. Her Crohns is severe and I am worried that I am about to lose my mother. My grandfather and myself are watching WWZ and I remembered the "I was only nineteen" quote from the book and worried this an omen that my mother is gonna die. I am scared shitless.
Sorry to hear your mum is unwell, gatsby. I hope she makes a swift recovery.
Some of this magical thinking is tempting when going through trauma like this, we turn on ourselves and berate ourselves over even the smallest thing we said to them years ago that are long forgotten. Plus your stress levels are naturally well high right now and so all those negatives from the anxiety, the distorted, skewed & biased thinking, will be intense.
Try to remember that despite what these intrusive thoughts are trying to point out, you truly can't influence the world with thoughts, they require actions to make them real and this is all out of your control anyway. That's another issue for us, the lack of control but really it's just an intense version of what anyone would feel in your situation, we would all feel helpless and have to trust in the doctors when we would do anything to help.
Just being there for her is all any mother would want from a son. All we can do otherwise is keep an eye on the doctors and make sure they do their best for our loved ones.
Man, my nerves. If its not my OCD its my family. I cant get over this sound I just heard and I just had my pc checked for viruses.
sigh.
MyNameIsTerry
03-04-16, 08:07
BUT you know what it is, your anxiety. Some people would be chasing & chasing, asking questions, etc which all continues to fuel it. You aren't doing this.
At this very stressful time your anxiety is going to be difficult, you would have to be pretty far along in your recovery to be able to take all this on without it spiking. So, whilst it is possibly very hard or not possible at all right now, it's something to accept and just battle on. Once through this period, you can then start working on it again.
I hope your mum is doing well.
BUT you know what it is, your anxiety. Some people would be chasing & chasing, asking questions, etc which all continues to fuel it. You aren't doing this.
At this very stressful time your anxiety is going to be difficult, you would have to be pretty far along in your recovery to be able to take all this on without it spiking. So, whilst it is possibly very hard or not possible at all right now, it's something to accept and just battle on. Once through this period, you can then start working on it again.
I hope your mum is doing well.
I've been trying to separate the demon in my mind from me and trying to address the problem from there. I have noticed I can't exactly fight this unless there's two distinct sides.
The more I put it into form the easier it gets but the easiest thing is difficult when you are struggling against yourself and know all your own moves. It's amazing to finally have days of peace where I can actually do things. I have been handling my anxiety like you handle severed fire hose- I have a firm grip but it's still wild ride. I had my last real episode with my kleptomaniacal drunk aunt calling and trying to make my mother's illness all about her which put me in a rage and made me say my peace.
I am trying to keep my mother from dying but I still know that's not my call and that's chance throwing the dice and a stranger who I have never met holding her in their hands. I feel less anxious and more melancholy now, I suppose. Time will still tell.
MyNameIsTerry
04-04-16, 06:31
Yes, anxiety being within us knows our weak spots and our strategies. I often see it as a form of energy and if you don't get rid of it, it just finds another way to come out. Some talk about it on here as the coals of a fire, others a jug of water spilling over, maybe even the old reference to someone plugging holes in the dam with their fingers.
If we don't tackle the roots, it grows back, and not always in the same way. This is very relevant to some of us OCDers, the people who dodge from theme to theme spring to mind.
Yes, those days of peace are the beginning. What then happens is that they become more regular as the bad days become less regular. Like you are tipping the scales in another direction.
Environmental factors, such as the aunt, will be battles we always have in life, we just need to work on how we handle them so they don't affect us like they used to. Some situations are very hard, like all this you are going through. I think as well from reading many threads on here that we almost think the pain we are experiencing in these situations is due to our disorders but this is false. Only some of it is, it's very normal for anyone to experience anxiety, fear, mood swings, etc in such emotionally challenging times. We need to remember this, accept and not make it something our demon can use against us as a bigger spear whilst we are going through it all.
We can keep the doctors on their toes, we don't have to accept what they say just because they are doctors. But at the same time, balance in all things, so at some point accepting being helpless is all we can do. The important thing is being their for your mum because that's something none of the doctors can do, only her loved ones. That's your role in times like this.
Coincidences biting at me again. Tired. Keep on pushing.
Coincides and deja vu have been a bit high for me lately. For example my cat ran in the house and stood by the door for a second. Then jolted off, 5 minuets later the same thing happens. Fills me up with anxiety thinking "what if this is some paradox and I lost my mind" in all reality I know my cat just simply ran to the door again lol. I know how you feel Gatsby.
Nearly had a panic attack, i was gonna message a friend I hadnt talked to in a month and he messaged me. Atleast I didnt spiral into a full blown one.
MyNameIsTerry
12-04-16, 05:58
It's all progress. The more you stop that reaction, the more you will see it decrease.
Nearly had a panic attack, i was gonna message a friend I hadnt talked to in a month and he messaged me. Atleast I didnt spiral into a full blown one.
You nearly had one, but you didnt :yesyes: thats progress my friend it takes some time to get a hold of this obsession I know it did for me. BTW how is your mom doing?
You nearly had one, but you didnt :yesyes: thats progress my friend it takes some time to get a hold of this obsession I know it did for me. BTW how is your mom doing?
She is ok, surgery still has not happened.
MyNameIsTerry
16-04-16, 05:01
Glad your mums ok, gatsby.
I am considering myself in recovery right now. It took a while but here I am.
MyNameIsTerry
21-04-16, 08:42
That's great news! :yesyes::yahoo:
I bet it feels a fair bit further forward to when you were struggling with all these thoughts? Can you remember how it felt like even a slight improvement would be impossible? Remember this realisation that it can & does get better if & when the blips come. Blips are also harder to deal with at first, you get more used to managing them the more you experience them and the more you keep moving forward.
That's great news! :yesyes::yahoo:
I bet it feels a fair bit further forward to when you were struggling with all these thoughts? Can you remember how it felt like even a slight improvement would be impossible? Remember this realisation that it can & does get better if & when the blips come. Blips are also harder to deal with at first, you get more used to managing them the more you experience them and the more you keep moving forward.
Yeah, all I do when I experience a flare is go "okay" and just respond by not responding to paying attention to what caused it. I figured I can dewire and rewire my brain that way. The more I resist a thought the more I believe it's a credible threat. I still have a looooong way to go before I call relapse.
MyNameIsTerry
22-04-16, 07:13
I think that's a big part of beating it, learning not to react to it with the negatives it is expected. It sees you don't care and things reduce. I found that.
Resisting just tells it the process is valid, that credible threat. Pushing thoughts away with a negative fear reaction just reinforces it's existence.
Acceptance is a very hard thing to learn but you are on your way now! :yesyes:
Phew, coincidences wont stop. I saw the song "where is my mind" on youtube recommended and then I heard it on TV.
Good thing I didnt panic. Well on my way I guess.
MyNameIsTerry
29-04-16, 08:23
Isn't that the one from the Fight Club credits?
Yep, you are getting used to them as being non threatening. All good steps forward.
Hey guys!
Gats you are making great progress for what I read. I been out of the forum for a while, university and my job have been taking a lot lately.
As terry says not reacting to it, its the way to go. Terry how you been doing?
MyNameIsTerry
03-05-16, 07:50
I'm ok thanks, Tom. Still battling on.
How are things going for you?
I am not gonna say Im dancing in rainbows and sunshines, but Im doing fine. Going back to therapy has really helped and I could change my way of dealing with anxiety, no longer as an illness itself but more of a symptom to stressfull situations and how I handled them.
I still have a way to go, but I am doing better. The year started rough with the whole POCD, breaking up with my girlfriend and having some issues landing a job. But it seems I am better at handling all of this, I won't lie and won't say "IM DOING PERFECT" and I don't have some episodes of anxiety every now and then but they are more sporadic as I understand it a little bit better and really care less about it
Well, i can say I am still doing a lot better now. Been mad busy recently. You were right Terry, you brits do have some pretty good tv. I might need to apply for refugee status to get the good old TV and NHS when Trump gets in.
Been super busy. Getting a job soon. OCD is starting to arch up on me again from the stress.
Been super busy. Getting a job soon. OCD is starting to arch up on me again from the stress.
First of all, congratulations on getting a job gats! yeah, stress might build some anxiety as it is a symptom of it. But remember it is a huge MIGHT.
Enjoy having a new job and the whole new experience and don't worry about anxiety, you already know its just something that appears sometimes when you are stressed and doesn't represent a true threat to you.
First of all, congratulations on getting a job gats! yeah, stress might build some anxiety as it is a symptom of it. But remember it is a huge MIGHT.
Enjoy having a new job and the whole new experience and don't worry about anxiety, you already know its just something that appears sometimes when you are stressed and doesn't represent a true threat to you.
Hey tom, yeah i am happy about the new job. I guess I am just really uptight right now.
Dealing with OCD is getting easier and easier. Trying to read the news just makes it worse though but I just cant look away. Just the worst kinds of trash on it. Just makes me more and more tired.
mindful anxiety
26-05-16, 17:24
Gatsby-
Im late to the party on this thread but I wanted to add a little if you dont mind.
Trauma has a way of causing interesting coping mechanisms.
I, like you have been a victim of a.. well lets just say my childhood was not normal.
I built in many defensive mechanisms, repetitive thought, and actions as a result of a unspeakable childhood. They are a part of who I am now and there is no turning back.
Now I have learned to control them more as an adult but its a constant battle.
I would even consider myself intuitive in many ways. I am so sensitive to situations that I am already 10 steps ahead of others. Ive already worked things out in my head 5 times over, and I know all the angles before most get past the basic Idea of something. But this comes with a huge stress toll. Its very draining.
When I get stressed I start checking things for perfection. I make kits and pack bags neatly, weird I know. I have a kit for almost everything in my house. But they are much to perfectly packed to be used. They are just to be observed as a example of perfection obtained, and just the thought of it being completed perfectly gives me much joy and calmness.
Ive often thought about a business making custom survival kits online.:)
You see, I lived in many different homes and my suitcase was my life as a child. Thus the obsession.
I realize now that it is my minds way of getting safe in a situation of stress. So I have kits ready to be put together for that time of stress. Its almost like doing an art project for stress relief now. I often just buy random boxes and things in anticipation of a future stress situation.
I guess in this explanation im trying to say your mind is doing what it was trained to do from childhood to cope with stress. Its ok, its not a bad thing.
It just means your resilient.
If you can identify this is happening and why, then you are close to closure and healing. If your lucky you can flip the paranoia and use it to your advantage.
Maybe you would make an exceptional investigative journalist or something since you can spot similarities or pick out repeating themes.
It does not have to be a negative thing. It could be more like a super power.
I will admit my problem is still people. If you offend me or come at me sideways your written off forever. There is no second chance. This is a problem in my professional world and I deal every day with communicating with people who are outside my circle of acceptance.
I guess its all in how you frame it.
I wish you the best my friend, thank you for sharing.:hugs:
Hi
Just read your post.
I'm glad I've seen what you've written here as I have intrusive thoughts of exactly the same nature and they've been plaguing me since 2014.
At times I've felt totally isolated,useless,embarrassed,stupid,lonely and shameful of the anxiety I feel and the fears I have.
They always turn back to the whole prison thing.i have never broken the law and don't have a record,infact I'm pretty boring and ordinary lol, but always this fearful preoccupation with being blamed for something I havnt done and can't control.
I too was badly abused as a child.
I've had CBT which was great but it wasn't a permanent fix.
I'm new here and sorry if I've rambled on but it's good to know I'm not the only person suffering this at times.
Hope you are having a good day.I guess all we can do is take it all a day at a time.
K.
Gatsby-
Im late to the party on this thread but I wanted to add a little if you dont mind.
Trauma has a way of causing interesting coping mechanisms.
I, like you have been a victim of a.. well lets just say my childhood was not normal.
I built in many defensive mechanisms, repetitive thought, and actions as a result of a unspeakable childhood. They are a part of who I am now and there is no turning back.
Now I have learned to control them more as an adult but its a constant battle.
I would even consider myself intuitive in many ways. I am so sensitive to situations that I am already 10 steps ahead of others. Ive already worked things out in my head 5 times over, and I know all the angles before most get past the basic Idea of something. But this comes with a huge stress toll. Its very draining.
When I get stressed I start checking things for perfection. I make kits and pack bags neatly, weird I know. I have a kit for almost everything in my house. But they are much to perfectly packed to be used. They are just to be observed as a example of perfection obtained, and just the thought of it being completed perfectly gives me much joy and calmness.
Ive often thought about a business making custom survival kits online.:)
You see, I lived in many different homes and my suitcase was my life as a child. Thus the obsession.
I realize now that it is my minds way of getting safe in a situation of stress. So I have kits ready to be put together for that time of stress. Its almost like doing an art project for stress relief now. I often just buy random boxes and things in anticipation of a future stress situation.
I guess in this explanation im trying to say your mind is doing what it was trained to do from childhood to cope with stress. Its ok, its not a bad thing.
It just means your resilient.
If you can identify this is happening and why, then you are close to closure and healing. If your lucky you can flip the paranoia and use it to your advantage.
Maybe you would make an exceptional investigative journalist or something since you can spot similarities or pick out repeating themes.
It does not have to be a negative thing. It could be more like a super power.
I will admit my problem is still people. If you offend me or come at me sideways your written off forever. There is no second chance. This is a problem in my professional world and I deal every day with communicating with people who are outside my circle of acceptance.
I guess its all in how you frame it.
I wish you the best my friend, thank you for sharing.:hugs:
Yeah, ive lived through a lot. It really is how you want to frame it all. I still dont trust people like I used to. I guess its just been etched into me now and its just who I am.
Hi
Just read your post.
I'm glad I've seen what you've written here as I have intrusive thoughts of exactly the same nature and they've been plaguing me since 2014.
At times I've felt totally isolated,useless,embarrassed,stupid,lonely and shameful of the anxiety I feel and the fears I have.
They always turn back to the whole prison thing.i have never broken the law and don't have a record,infact I'm pretty boring and ordinary lol, but always this fearful preoccupation with being blamed for something I havnt done and can't control.
I too was badly abused as a child.
I've had CBT which was great but it wasn't a permanent fix.
I'm new here and sorry if I've rambled on but it's good to know I'm not the only person suffering this at times.
Hope you are having a good day.I guess all we can do is take it all a day at a time.
K.
I am having a good day, thanks. Yeah, ive had this extreme fear of being framed and it just scares me shitless but ive learned to cope with it but its just not been an easy task and I am still scared about it. This forum has been an amazing help and I so glad I came here. Itll get better. You just have to find out what works and what doesnt and fight it from there.
MyNameIsTerry
02-06-16, 04:49
Perhaps try the ERP route with the news? Beat it in steps.
I think those of us who have followed you through this can see the changes in you. :yesyes:
I bet now you can look back at the person saying there was no way out and see how that was flawed? The greatest proof you can get better is after all, that you are doing so.
Perhaps try the ERP route with the news? Beat it in steps.
I think those of us who have followed you through this can see the changes in you. :yesyes:
I bet now you can look back at the person saying there was no way out and see how that was flawed? The greatest proof you can get better is after all, that you are doing so.
I am without a doubt getting better. I just dont think the news is positive for me to look at. I mean I think I want to adopt the "well the important news will be out my window" way of doing things. I think itd just be easier to cope with life. I mean all I see is just so divisive. Id rather wake up and see a nuclear mushroom cloud then hear about how someone got dragged out of their car and beaten to death for being different. Its just constantly "WAR, DEATH, DISEASE, FAMINE, RAPE, MURDER" and then "and heres Samantha with the weather." and it just fuels my OCD. Bill Hicks was so right. I feel less consumed by OCD and more just depressed.
MyNameIsTerry
03-06-16, 05:29
Well the news can be depressing quite a lot of the time any way. I would be wary of avoidance though, turn it into an adaptive behaviour so that you don't avoid out of fear and instead have a strategy. So, perhaps see how adaptive behaviours work in examples and base one around this. The reason being that you can make a choice in the home but outside you could see these things and you want to be able to handle them even though you choose to watch something more positive at home.
Well the news can be depressing quite a lot of the time any way. I would be wary of avoidance though, turn it into an adaptive behaviour so that you don't avoid out of fear and instead have a strategy. So, perhaps see how adaptive behaviours work in examples and base one around this. The reason being that you can make a choice in the home but outside you could see these things and you want to be able to handle them even though you choose to watch something more positive at home.
Yeah, i think you are right. I think trying to shut it out would just make it when stuff does happen that I am just not as desensitized to it. It just hurts so much to watch the news but its like a train crash I just cant look away from. Its all going to be okay. I just have to keep my head up.
Depressed, very depressed right now. I don't know what to do. I am tired of these panic attacks, intrusive thoughts. I just want them out of my head. I want my life back without this stupid fear bs. I just wanna cry but what is there to even cry about. I am sick of all this bullshit. Never have I been so ****ing tired of something. I just want the world to stop spinning. I see everything and think it's meant for me. I am mentally tired all the time and not even sleep helps. I just want it to stop. This is going to be the end of me. It's tearing me apart.
MyNameIsTerry
16-06-16, 11:00
I promise you it won't be the end of you, gatsby. I can remember those dark days and they don't stay like that. I have many anxiety issues to still deal with now but I'm not anything like the mess I was at my worst. I never thought it could escape that at all, but I did.
You've been getting better. That shows it can change, it can improve, you can recover. But it's always a very rocky process and we fall into ruts and blips and they can feel like we are going back to the worst times. These get easier to manage the more you get used to them and accept them but at first they are very hard because they are stark reminders of how bad we felt before...that place we really dread going back to again.
I really would encourage you to try something like Mindfulness because it can help you to focus properly and have a clearer mind.
I haven't forgot about your PM, I'm catching up and need to have a think.
I am just overwhelmed. I mean a lot of my thoughts seem to happen. I mean a lot of coincidences have happened this week and it has stressed me out. I thought about a mass shooting and bam orlando happens. I was talking abut Britain First and bam today not even 4 hours a politican gets murdered by them. I think about a certain chicken from the grocery store and guess what? It's there in the groceries. I am gonna try mindfulness, I am just in a state of panic right now and I feel ill.
MyNameIsTerry
17-06-16, 07:35
Yes, they will. Think about it logically, the more chances the more likely they have of appearing to occur. That doesn't mean you influence them in any way. Our Magical Thinking is telling us otherwise and getting us to conduct compulsions to attempt to stop them from happening but none of this achieves anything since we can't influence the outcome.
That murder is unclear because he could have shouted "Britain First" or "putting Britain first". Aside from the fact the group have denied any connection, something the police will determine on their own either way, we are currently going through the EU referendum. The Labour party are well behind staying in the EU and this is very very unpopular, especially considering the new leader (a leftie crackpot) has been telling everyone he wants bout for 3 decades! So, some are calling him a traitor...but it's really because the unions are their backers and they have said all along they want to stay in so he has to go with who pays his party.
There is every chance that this is connected more to the EU referendum. There are BNP types out there drumming up support. It's like with the Scottish referendum when there were clashes.
So, trying to connect that to your conversation is a potential bias because there is no known connection right now. People have been on about putting Britain first for months due to the EU referendum and they are nothing to do with the idiots in that group.
Is it so strange to find a specific chicken at the grocery store if they sell chickens? Maybe you've seen them there before and when talking about it your mind picked up on that memory? So, is it a coincidence or a misinterpretation of what the mind has done?
I could be wrong with what I've said but this is my interpretation of what you are saying. I'm making assumptions as I do it but I know I'm making them. If you think about it again now, can you see assumptions in what you thought?
Yes, they will. Think about it logically, the more chances the more likely they have of appearing to occur. That doesn't mean you influence them in any way. Our Magical Thinking is telling us otherwise and getting us to conduct compulsions to attempt to stop them from happening but none of this achieves anything since we can't influence the outcome.
That murder is unclear because he could have shouted "Britain First" or "putting Britain first". Aside from the fact the group have denied any connection, something the police will determine on their own either way, we are currently going through the EU referendum. The Labour party are well behind staying in the EU and this is very very unpopular, especially considering the new leader (a leftie crackpot) has been telling everyone he wants bout for 3 decades! So, some are calling him a traitor...but it's really because the unions are their backers and they have said all along they want to stay in so he has to go with who pays his party.
There is every chance that this is connected more to the EU referendum. There are BNP types out there drumming up support. It's like with the Scottish referendum when there were clashes.
So, trying to connect that to your conversation is a potential bias because there is no known connection right now. People have been on about putting Britain first for months due to the EU referendum and they are nothing to do with the idiots in that group.
Is it so strange to find a specific chicken at the grocery store if they sell chickens? Maybe you've seen them there before and when talking about it your mind picked up on that memory? So, is it a coincidence or a misinterpretation of what the mind has done?
I could be wrong with what I've said but this is my interpretation of what you are saying. I'm making assumptions as I do it but I know I'm making them. If you think about it again now, can you see assumptions in what you thought?
I guess I just kind overreacted and my brain was looking patterns and "signs." The whole chicken thing wasn't at the store. I woke up to find them in the groceries and I panicked. When I keep getting coincidences I see and interpret things against my better thinking. Like "I thought this so if I don't fight itll happen." and then elements of stuff that I deeply fear pop into it. It's just gonna take time to break.
But yeah, I've been following the UK political scene for a while and I think the biggest problem is people see that the EU as this giant behemoth that wipes out cultures and nationalities and with Britain being a very proud people the idea of going down with a ship and one that is going down makes some people very hot under the collar. My guess is you guys will jump off the German shipwreck.
MyNameIsTerry
17-06-16, 09:33
It's possible we will. We never had a vote to enter and some people don't like that alone. If we didn't have a benefits system and a free NHS, it would likely be a very different story. Immigration has always been the biggest issue for people and once we started having silly laws coming in from Brussels, people have become very sick of the EU.
I just misread that and thought you said you woke up in the grocery store! I would be a bit worried then. :biggrin:
If you had seen them before and not realised, your subconscious would have seen a whole image so can recall the elements we can't consciously. Maybe you had seen it or been made aware it would be there?
I know the whole "if I don't fight it will happen", that's a classic one with Magical Thinking. I know it can't happen yet I would still have to do my touching & checking compulsions "just in case".
Another annoying thing with this thinking is that it's not a matter of X happens to do Y to prevent disaster right now. It gets into your head that it could happen anytime in the future. So, starting exposure work is hard when trying to resist the compulsion. It's perhaps also keeps the cycle going with it having the potential to happen further off so we keep repeating the cycle of the thoughts and the mitigated actions.
It's a real minefield with this stuff. If you draw it out, it's like a spaghetti diagram.
I think my anxiety has taken a turn for the worst. I am getting pin prick feelings all over my body, my skin crawls and my body feels strange. Its so annoying. I am getting this pain behind my right ear too. What the hell is happening to me?
MyNameIsTerry
21-06-16, 11:30
Yeah, I've had things like that. They are called parathesias. Tingling sensations are very common with anxiety because it is the adrenaline. Pins & needles is a typical one you will have experienced in the parathesias, everyone gets that not just people with anxiety.
I've always found that if you get up and move about you won't feel it. It's when sitting or lying that these seem to come.
They can be worrying as they can feel non stop. Our focus is a problem so doing things to move our focus away from physical symptoms helps too.
Yeah, I've had things like that. They are called parathesias. Tingling sensations are very common with anxiety because it is the adrenaline. Pins & needles is a typical one you will have experienced in the parathesias, everyone gets that not just people with anxiety.
I've always found that if you get up and move about you won't feel it. It's when sitting or lying that these seem to come.
They can be worrying as they can feel non stop. Our focus is a problem so doing things to move our focus away from physical symptoms helps too.
Yeah I went "pins needles check, pain check, headache check, brain tumor? No Id be having a seizure about now" then anxiety hit me I took the answer. I have come to the conclusion that when I wake up I dont feel it but when I get rolling it starts. I get this stiffness in my back and neck too which is/was/has been concerning me.
MyNameIsTerry
22-06-16, 05:39
Yes, I have problems like that. My anxiety can start upon waking but I can push through it after a short time. When I get moving, it changes to different physical symptoms around fatigue, aches & pains, breathing issues, funny heads, etc.
It's all very tiring to say the least. You often feel stuck because you try one thing and you get X symptoms, try another and get Y symptoms.
A little distressed today. I keep seeing things like child molesters and brain eating amoebas. I just don't know how I cope hearing this all the time. The tingling does stop when I get active and I've been taking the advice. I just cant block it out of my head. I can't stop hearing just how awful it all is. I don't want to hear about how someone was whipping their dog with a chain or how drinking water could give you lead poisoning. I feel uncomfortable in my own skin. I am going to my psych Wednesday and I am gonna try to talk to him about some of this. I just have to keep moving. Terry, thanks for all the support you've been giving me. Without it i probably would have jumped off a cliff.
MyNameIsTerry
23-06-16, 06:13
No worries, gatsby. That's what we are all here for.
Changing negative thinking patterns is going to take time. Originally you couldn't change your reaction either but you got into how to do that. It's just practice & time to change these things and your subconscious will catch up.
Well worth a chat with the psych about it all to keep them in the loop. Talking in person helps in different ways than online anyway.
Ways to divert your mind with healthy pastimes can help. Things that are not a distraction from the current anxiety as much as an activity that tries to shift your thinking away for a period of time as things can naturally reduce then. Having more of those on a regular basis can help with that longer term shift away from time spent in negative thinking to a more positive/neutral outlook.
As of today I can say that my OCD has switched subjects. I am falling into hypochondria. I am obsessing about my health. I am scared of losing my intelligence and turn into a babbler from a brain injury or having meningitis. I get these tingles and headaches and they are scaring me. Well, hey, atleast the prison fears are gone.
MyNameIsTerry
26-06-16, 04:52
It could be transient. OCD jumps around but sometimes there are minor themes too that we just get over or don't see much of due to major ones.
At this point whilst your OCD may be ingrained, this theme isn't so you have more of a chance of stopping it developing if you work on it now as opposed to someone having it years and starting.
Isn't it strange how such a major fear has gone? It may be in the background and could return once this one subsides or it may have been replaced completely. But it shows that the fundamental issue isn't the context but the disorder itself so it's proof that everything you thought before was skewed and maybe you can resolve those thoughts now whilst the pressure is off them?
It could be transient. OCD jumps around but sometimes there are minor themes too that we just get over or don't see much of due to major ones.
At this point whilst your OCD may be ingrained, this theme isn't so you have more of a chance of stopping it developing if you work on it now as opposed to someone having it years and starting.
Isn't it strange how such a major fear has gone? It may be in the background and could return once this one subsides or it may have been replaced completely. But it shows that the fundamental issue isn't the context but the disorder itself so it's proof that everything you thought before was skewed and maybe you can resolve those thoughts now whilst the pressure is off them?
It is funny how it works. I've been having to tell myself that there is no escape, there is no avoiding and what ever happens you have absolutely no control. If it does happen (which I know it wont) i'd rather enjoy happy days then being in a corner afraid and in stupor.
I do realize that this the optimal point in putting both to bed but I am in a subtle rush to put this away before the other comes back. I guess this fear comes because I do realize that I am a vain and narcissistic to some degree and I treasure my intellect and looks and I guess that stems from the very dark part of my personality. I have this question that that goes "without these what are you?" and I just shudder. My brain is all foggy right now. I dont think this is a replacement fear but it could be and that still stands to be seen.
MyNameIsTerry
26-06-16, 06:31
Well there are lots of threads around here where people are worried about mental illness that would lead to reduced intelligence e.g. dementia. I don't see there being anything wrong with treasuring your intellect as long as it's a positive thing and not along the lines of superiority. Embracing your talents is a good thing and it doesn't have to be unhealthy.
I don't think it's just about these elements because you wouldn't be helping others on here if you didn't have other elements to your character. But anxiety tends to strip our self esteem a lot and we often don't see our other qualities. For instance, you greatly dislike injustice in what you see, hear or read and it upsets you. That shows you care or have a deep sense of moral belief about this things, or both. That's more than intellect and nothing to do with looks.
What would you write if you were asked what your good qualities were? What would you write if you were asked what you cared about in the world and what you would want to change? See what I'm saying?
Doing pretty okay right now. The whole prison fear seems to be more or less gone. Having trouble with the brain trauma fear. Wondering if I actually have one that I am not aware of fully. Apprehension is starting to take hold.
MyNameIsTerry
04-07-16, 06:02
That's just the anxiety trying to introduce doubt. You know it's a rare one and there is a case going on about it at the moment, anxiety loves to play on factors like that. Rare so often means anxiety.
You are doing ok, that's a good sign and one to keep hold of.
That's just the anxiety trying to introduce doubt. You know it's a rare one and there is a case going on about it at the moment, anxiety loves to play on factors like that. Rare so often means anxiety.
You are doing ok, that's a good sign and one to keep hold of.
Case going on? I don't know what you are referring to. I am really tired right now. Is it on the news? I am sorry I am just dealing with major family drama right now.
MyNameIsTerry
04-07-16, 06:32
Yeah, something popped up on my MSN newsfeed. Ignore them though, it will only be a case of rarity otherwise it wouldn't even make it into the media.
Sorry to hear things are difficult with your family. I hope your mum is ok.
Yeah, something popped up on my MSN newsfeed. Ignore them though, it will only be a case of rarity otherwise it wouldn't even make it into the media.
Sorry to hear things are difficult with your family. I hope your mum is ok.
Oh it was a creep caught creeping. Thats no big news then. My mother is doing pretty well thankfully. She recovered somehow without the surgery so that's a plus. I am more so just furious about another matter. I have a biological father who ran off before I was born and now I see him on his facebook on private jets and expensive boats and it just arises this unholy fury in me. I have an entire side of my bloodline doesn't know I exist. I just learned I have two sisters I was never told about until I saw their pictures. I have a devilish idea to make myself known to them so he gets to watch fireworks and his family tear him asunder. I am just concerned about my sister's though. I can't just go to kids and throw out revelations "your dad is a shallow prick and you have a brother!" I don't want to throw their entire viewpoint about their family out of wack. My life is a giant stage.
MyNameIsTerry
04-07-16, 08:03
Good to hear your mum is doing well. That's a massive relief for you!
This guy hasn't been there for you and that's his loss. You've had a good mum to bring you up.
People often make themselves out to be something other than they are on social media, it's often an ego trip. So, maybe he isn't as successful as he makes out? Some people will go as far as renting things to take a photo to claim they own them.
It's nice you think about your half sisters with compassion. It's not their fault and given his actions, would you think it likely they don't even know about you? Making contact with them might be something that happens in your future and it may be good for you all but something to consider is that they may have a very rosy view of their dad as you say and if that's the case, it could go badly. They may learn to accept it and move on with you in their lives but they could also become defensive of their dad too. Hopefully they would get over that and bind with you. Another option is always making contact but keeping the issue you have with him out of of it all. That way they get to know you without the baggage their dad has caused. They are likely to be want to know, and he may make it all up to save himself, but it may be a way to soften the blow or put your point across that you didn't ask for that either so perhaps you share some middle ground with them that you can all build on?
Sometimes people perhaps even change and become good with their current family, so that's all they will see, but seem to push their other family out of their minds? That must really hurt people, but I think it's one of the possible barriers that presents itself in the case of meeting new family. He may try and prevent it to keep his past from catching up with him? A bit silly to flaunt it across social media but then people often don't think and don't care who they hurt...and so you all meeting would be partly his own fault in that respect as he isn't hiding his current life from his past ones. (basically, a d1ckhead!)
It's a very tricky issue all round. I hope it works out for you though.
Good to hear your mum is doing well. That's a massive relief for you!
This guy hasn't been there for you and that's his loss. You've had a good mum to bring you up.
People often make themselves out to be something other than they are on social media, it's often an ego trip. So, maybe he isn't as successful as he makes out? Some people will go as far as renting things to take a photo to claim they own them.
It's nice you think about your half sisters with compassion. It's not their fault and given his actions, would you think it likely they don't even know about you? Making contact with them might be something that happens in your future and it may be good for you all but something to consider is that they may have a very rosy view of their dad as you say and if that's the case, it could go badly. They may learn to accept it and move on with you in their lives but they could also become defensive of their dad too. Hopefully they would get over that and bind with you. Another option is always making contact but keeping the issue you have with him out of of it all. That way they get to know you without the baggage their dad has caused. They are likely to be want to know, and he may make it all up to save himself, but it may be a way to soften the blow or put your point across that you didn't ask for that either so perhaps you share some middle ground with them that you can all build on?
Sometimes people perhaps even change and become good with their current family, so that's all they will see, but seem to push their other family out of their minds? That must really hurt people, but I think it's one of the possible barriers that presents itself in the case of meeting new family. He may try and prevent it to keep his past from catching up with him? A bit silly to flaunt it across social media but then people often don't think and don't care who they hurt...and so you all meeting would be partly his own fault in that respect as he isn't hiding his current life from his past ones. (basically, a d1ckhead!)
It's a very tricky issue all round. I hope it works out for you though.
Oh I know it's not as it seems on social media. It's a keeping up with the Joneses affair. Big prick waving contest. I gonna try to use his family to flush him out that way and have any decent people in it tear him a new add hole for what he did and refused to do. I find it disgusting that for any reason you leave someone who is depending on you and the woman who trusted you. If I had a son who did that id disown them. I find that I couldn't give any shots about the damage I'll cause aside from my sisters. I just can bring myself to harm the viewpoint of two kids and especially my sisters. It'd traumatize them irreversibly. I have thought about two waya. That is explaining it to them as softly and kid friendly as I can or be the stranger that appears every so often and that way they are desensitized when I tell them. As much disdain
I hold for him I refuse to destroy the relationship they've fostered with their father.
MyNameIsTerry
04-07-16, 08:59
That's very understanding and it says a lot that you are looking towards what is best. Some people just blunder in for revenge but it can ruin good future relationships with the other innocent parties. Really, you don't need him anyway. They will but hopefully everyone can agree to keep it all in boxes so that you can be together. He doesn't deserve any consideration but if he has a wife, she may not know and the sisters you obviously want to protect which is great.
There is certainly going to be some damage though but you can choose how you want to manage the situation. If he inflames it all with lies you have the option to react or take the higher road and ignore it all and just work on the relationship with your sisters. The latter might speak volumes to them about your character, that you are willing to brush off any snubs rather than sink to that level? Perhaps that would make them question their father's motives more?
That's very understanding and it says a lot that you are looking towards what is best. Some people just blunder in for revenge but it can ruin good future relationships with the other innocent parties. Really, you don't need him anyway. They will but hopefully everyone can agree to keep it all in boxes so that you can be together. He doesn't deserve any consideration but if he has a wife, she may not know and the sisters you obviously want to protect which is great.
There is certainly going to be some damage though but you can choose how you want to manage the situation. If he inflames it all with lies you have the option to react or take the higher road and ignore it all and just work on the relationship with your sisters. The latter might speak volumes to them about your character, that you are willing to brush off any snubs rather than sink to that level? Perhaps that would make them question their father's motives more?
I like when people damn themselves. The wife knows from what I was told and he was caught in the act of lying about it and going to court over me. My OCD is quiet right now while I focus on this so I wonder if it's some how deeply connected to it in some way.
MyNameIsTerry
05-07-16, 06:02
Maybe it's a change in focus away from your anxiety contexts? A form of distraction because you are focussing on something that evokes other emotions in you other than those connected to anxiety?
If it was connected as in a root cause then wouldn't it be continuing to make you anxious?
So I think about a mass shooting and wonder when the next one is then I wake up to the news of snipers.
Why.
MyNameIsTerry
09-07-16, 04:39
I don't know, gatsby, what have you been watching, reading, playing, etc? What I am sure of is that you cannot cause a mass shooting with your mind. You didn't either somehow prophesize or control those people to do it, that's our OCD talking.
If you truly could see it before...where, who, what colour was everybody, who had a moustache, etc? If you truly could see something, you would know the answers to questions like this. Otherwise we are talking about bias and something that influenced you, something that triggered the thought which may be subtle.
I don't know, gatsby, what have you been watching, reading, playing, etc? What I am sure of is that you cannot cause a mass shooting with your mind. You didn't either somehow prophesize or control those people to do it, that's our OCD talking.
If you truly could see it before...where, who, what colour was everybody, who had a moustache, etc? If you truly could see something, you would know the answers to questions like this. Otherwise we are talking about bias and something that influenced you, something that triggered the thought which may be subtle.
I fully know I dont know the future. I am just deeply troubled by all this almost like I know on que the sequence of events that kind of unfold on a regular basis. Its a constant bloodbath here. Its like by watching the news I voluntarily zip tie my feet together and tie an anchor to myself and throw myself off a pier. Surprisingly, i am experiencing a lull in thoughts but its always followed by a very low period. I guess I am just fatigued by the state of affairs. I am surprised I have gone this far without being an alcoholic.
MyNameIsTerry
09-07-16, 06:06
I know what you mean about alcohol, it's one reason why I abstain these days. I have no issue with it but until I feel much better, it's a door I leave closed for now. I have worried about self medication in the past and I bet we all do at some point.
The irony is over here, if I drank or got hooked on something else, my GP would start to care. You become a priority over other sufferers. That's firefighting I guess, but it's a poor message to send and what about those who end up in those states?
When you say 'it's a constant bloodbath here', is this possibly Cognitive Distortion? Is it really that bad where you are? Don't good things happen too? Can you see what I mean? Are you being sucked into the worst things when they are not truly reflective of the world around you? If so, how do you redress the balance so you see more positivity?
I know what you mean about alcohol, it's one reason why I abstain these days. I have no issue with it but until I feel much better, it's a door I leave closed for now. I have worried about self medication in the past and I bet we all do at some point.
The irony is over here, if I drank or got hooked on something else, my GP would start to care. You become a priority over other sufferers. That's firefighting I guess, but it's a poor message to send and what about those who end up in those states?
When you say 'it's a constant bloodbath here', is this possibly Cognitive Distortion? Is it really that bad where you are? Don't good things happen too? Can you see what I mean? Are you being sucked into the worst things when they are not truly reflective of the world around you? If so, how do you redress the balance so you see more positivity?
Yeah, the only reason I dont reach for the bottle I like being sober. I dont like being in a position of being helpless. I've had alcoholics in my family history before and I have one now. I see what it does and its not pretty. I think I also like to keep my eyes locked forward and just accept (although reluctantly) the current world. I mean by bloodbath is that I live in a very polarized family which is a phenomena that has gripped the US in the last few years. We have a part of the family that is left-wing on one end and right-wing on the other. I dont like either and I think both sides in this country are absolutely wacked.
If I articulate that the UK has a good but flawed health care system we should base ours on or that the rich should pay their share I get hounded as a dirty red and it has gone as far as tear two sides of my family down the middle and I love my family. I cant talk to my grandfather who raised me in place of the prick who left and I cant get a conversation without it either starting or degrading into how the country is going to shit or its all the lefts fault and to top it off I am trying to get on my own two feet and it feels like assembling a broken egg shell that fell out of a plane. I am tired, Terry.
MyNameIsTerry
10-07-16, 05:45
Yeah, in that type of environment you would be losing the argument every time. It's not worth talking to people who are hard left or right about such matters, they won't listen. If you want to talk about issues like this, you need people who are open to discussion. There is a politics thread by a US member on the Misc board.
I had this fear of sleep killing before I went to bed. I jus th woke up and apparently no one is dead so I guess I put this one to bed? God why are they always so terrifying. Otherwise doing okay.
MyNameIsTerry
14-07-16, 06:49
Because they want to scare us as much as possible in order to get the reaction they want to preserve the obsession.
Think of it in terms of fight or flight. You see the bear, the subconscious says "oh there is a bear, it may harm you" and you respond sheepishly. You see the bear, the subconscious says "Oh F#CK there's a bear, it will tear you to pieces and you will suffer and die horrendously" and you respond very differently.
The subconscious knows there is no point using the first one, it has to use the second one to ensure you react to protect yourself.
MyNameIsTerry
16-07-16, 07:23
I was posting about this on another thread and noticed some elements that might relate to you:
https://iocdf.org/expert-opinions/emotional-contamination/
For instance,
Two hallmarks of emotional contamination are the presence of magical thinking and superstitious behaviors. Both magical thinking and superstitions are clues that the sufferer believes in a phenomenon that is inconsistent with what is generally considered true and rational in the particular society in which he lives. The person with OCD often believes that random events and coincidences never occur and that all events are meant to happen, so they therefore hold special meaning and power. Any time a coincidence occurs the sufferer uses the coincidence as “factual evidence” that their superstitious beliefs have merit and that all others who try to dissuade them are wrong.
AND
Sometimes in emotional contamination the perceived danger can spread through language and speech, so that uttering a phrase or word that reminds one of the obsession can dramatically increase the perceived risk of danger. Thus, the individual with OCD avoids using specific words or names and he may even attempt to control others’ use of the trigger words in order to avoid escalating anxiety. The rituals can even spread to reading and writing; for example, the sufferer might avoid writing the trigger word or if he reads the trigger name he might engage in neutralizing rituals to undo the effect of reading the dangerous word. The neutralizing rituals may be to reread the trigger phrase while having a “good” or opposite thought, or to skip reading the entire page. The person with OCD may decide to cease reading altogether in an attempt to quell his/her anxiety.
As the sufferer becomes more symptomatic the contamination can generalize further – the individual letters or punctuation symbols become dangerous, as well, and the person writes words with letters left out so the reader must guess as to the exact content of the message.
AND
Not surprisingly, exposure to the media whether in written form, television, or the internet can become problematic for the person with OCD. News related to the triggering topic can set a sufferer into a tailspin, so the bold type titles in a newspaper or magazine are initially skimmed in an effort to stay away from triggering topics, and eventually reading a newspaper is avoided altogether. Then, even touching the newspaper becomes an issue with which to contend. Particular television shows are avoided due to implied content, and the same holds true for known internet sites. However, as with other triggers and unchecked ritualistic behavior, generalization is inevitable and a further escalation of symptoms will occur if the OCD is left untreated. For example, the computer is no longer touched or used, the room that the computer is in is never entered, and the person can deteriorate towards residing in one room of their home and not venturing out due to potential danger from exposure to anything even remotely related to the contaminated person or place.
I am going to take a full read of that. It always makes me comfortablexplain that I am not alone and furthermore it's backed by science. This weekend i am going tubing for my best friends birthday and now I am worried about brain eating amoebas. Oh why me. I don't want to give into it.
Been about a week since I swam and I am not dead. I guess thats a victory for me.
MyNameIsTerry
29-07-16, 06:10
But was it fun? :biggrin: Is tubing like being pulled around on one of those big inflatable banana's?...and hopefully not looking back and seeing being chased by Jaws. :biggrin:
Oh I had a blast. You are almost helplessly floating down a stream and it got irritating to fall out of my tube.
Going back on Zoloft, got a big dose of it. Got sleeping meds to put me back into it. Lets see how it pans out.
Hope you are feeling better.
Thanks, Dale. I am doing okay at the moment.
MyNameIsTerry
13-08-16, 06:16
Good to hear it's going ok. Starting meds can be a rough time, especially starting on higher doses.
Hopefully in a few weeks it will start helping.
I hope it continues to get better
One day at a time. Just gotta keep marching on.
That's all you can drop sometimes?
That's all you can drop sometimes?
I dont understand?
That's all you can do sometimes.
Feeling strange and worried. I got bad allergies right now and OCD isnt helping.
As an older OCD sufferer who's battled this for years and (mostly) won...can I give you a bit of advice?
You can't think, reason, or logic your way out of OCD. In fact, reasoning or thinking about it is the trap. You'll never win. Let me repeat that - you'll NEVER win. OCD is the ultimate trickster. It's your mind - but in a way, it's not. The minute you think you have it beat, it rears its ugly head again - but this time, in a new form.
Fear of spiders conquered? Well, next week it's death. Fear of airplanes? Next week it's subways. Fear of screaming something obscene in public? Next month you're afraid of cancer.
You catch my drift? It's always there.
But there are ways to handle it...and weaken it...and perhaps even...beat it...
One book I highly recommend - Brain Lock by Jeffrey m. Schwartz. I think this is one of my favorites. Basically it teaches you to understand that every-time you have a "crazy" thought - you label it. You say "it's not me, it's my OCD." There. You've managed to externalize it.
Then, you change your focus. THIS is the challenge, and this takes PRACTICE. You WILL and CAN get better at it...but it's hard as hell in the beginning. Imagine your brain as a muscle. It needs training. You can train your brain...but it takes some work. As soon as that thought creeps in...you know...the one that terrifies you? Shift your focus. That's right. Change direction. Don't entertain that thought. Don't give it a second - not even a moment. Just. Shift. Your. Focus.
Now this is tough. Especially for someone with OCD. But it CAN be done. And over time it'll get easier. And over time your Brain will physically change. They've demonstrated this on MRIs. But like I said it takes practice. But you'll be amazed how it works. And over time your OCD will definitely improve.
Check out the book and see what I mean. Good luck! :-)
As an older OCD sufferer who's battled this for years and (mostly) won...can I give you a bit of advice?
You can't think, reason, or logic your way out of OCD. In fact, reasoning or thinking about it is the trap. You'll never win. Let me repeat that - you'll NEVER win. OCD is the ultimate trickster. It's your mind - but in a way, it's not. The minute you think you have it beat, it rears its ugly head again - but this time, in a new form.
Fear of spiders conquered? Well, next week it's death. Fear of airplanes? Next week it's subways. Fear of screaming something obscene in public? Next month you're afraid of cancer.
You catch my drift? It's always there.
But there are ways to handle it...and weaken it...and perhaps even...beat it...
One book I highly recommend - Brain Lock by Jeffrey m. Schwartz. I think this is one of my favorites. Basically it teaches you to understand that every-time you have a "crazy" thought - you label it. You say "it's not me, it's my OCD." There. You've managed to externalize it.
Then, you change your focus. THIS is the challenge, and this takes PRACTICE. You WILL and CAN get better at it...but it's hard as hell in the beginning. Imagine your brain as a muscle. It needs training. You can train your brain...but it takes some work. As soon as that thought creeps in...you know...the one that terrifies you? Shift your focus. That's right. Change direction. Don't entertain that thought. Don't give it a second - not even a moment. Just. Shift. Your. Focus.
Now this is tough. Especially for someone with OCD. But it CAN be done. And over time it'll get easier. And over time your Brain will physically change. They've demonstrated this on MRIs. But like I said it takes practice. But you'll be amazed how it works. And over time your OCD will definitely improve.
Check out the book and see what I mean. Good luck! :-)
I am gonna take a look at it. I think there might be a PDF of it somewhere. Thanks.
Doing so much better recently. I've had my 6th day without out a flareup. I think I am starting to recover bit by bit, lets see if it sticks.
MyNameIsTerry
26-09-16, 06:36
Glad to hear you are feeling better, gatsby. I'm not on much at the moment, haven't been for weeks now due to working on my own OCD offline, so I'm playing catch up a lot.
Keep a track on it all so you can revisit the good times when you hit a blip. It can help remind you so you logically regain some perspective as recovering is never a smooth curve.
Glad to hear you are feeling better, gatsby. I'm not on much at the moment, haven't been for weeks now due to working on my own OCD offline, so I'm playing catch up a lot.
Keep a track on it all so you can revisit the good times when you hit a blip. It can help remind you so you logically regain some perspective as recovering is never a smooth curve.
Good to hear from you, Terry. Its been a long road and will be a bit longer. Hope the demonstration aren't too much trouble for you.
Starting to have themes around a stroke. Scared I'll get locked in syndrome. Scared to death here.
I am also having a similar challenge and struggling with it
Just had panic attack again. Resetting clock. Jesus, just give me a break.
MyNameIsTerry
19-11-16, 11:54
It doesn't mean you will slip backwards, gatsby, I've had many horrible times whilst on the road to recovery. I still do years on.
Do whatever helps you at this time and don't be worrying about goals or milestones right now, get yourself back to feeling ok first and then think about things you want to do.
I hope you feel better soon.
Intense anxiety this past week. Gonna be a rough month for me. Birthday coming up and I am worried about the omen from last year. Time will tell.
MyNameIsTerry
09-12-16, 11:49
When's your birthday, gatsby? I bet it's somewhere earlier in this thread when Tom was around?
This is a rough season for many of us. Do you find Xmas a tough one anyway? Or pressure from your birthday? Or both? I tend to have problems this time of the year for all sorts of reasons e.g. lots of pressies to sort so it challenges my routines (although it's also good for me as it shakes things up), meals, gatherings and the upside of my daily routines to be around over Xmas since I live at night a lot and need to switch to the days. The latter is probably the worst for me.
Sometimes it goes well. I had a really good few days last year and then I crashed for a week or so. I think it's often how it lands for me because I have noticed I ebb & flow with my anxiety, not the moods though anymore, and if it lands in the good part it will be easier & enjoyable BUT if it lands in the blip part, it's a tough one.
---------- Post added at 11:49 ---------- Previous post was at 11:47 ----------
Yeah, its amazing stuff. I am still recovering but I just cant shake this feeling. That funny feeling I had when I heard that phrase still makes me feel very very funny. I am having trouble stepping over this. Almost as if I know something. My birthday is tomorrow and I want to atleast be happy.
Got it! News Years Day then?
Got it! News Years Day then?
Yeah, that whole prophecy thing or what ever has bothered me all year. Anxiety has been going in from rain drops and gathers into downpours. Ive just settled with the attitude that what ever happens is out of my control and isnt really worth fighting until it actually happens.
In mental agony right now. Want to shove my head through a wall. Constant and utterly dreadful right now. Fighting off magical thoughts. Been a long year.
MyNameIsTerry
01-01-17, 03:45
Happy birthday, gatsby!!!
:birthday1::birthday::birthday1::birthday:
I hope you have a great day and the anxiety takes a back seat.
Happy birthday, gatsby!!!
:birthday1::birthday::birthday1::birthday:
I hope you have a great day and the anxiety takes a back seat.
Thanks, Terry. No such luck. My anxiety has hit me really hard. It hasn't been hitting me this hard for a while. I am just so miserable right now and I am just barely coping. I am just do so tired of slogging through this nightmare.
MyNameIsTerry
04-01-17, 05:04
Sorry to here it's all hard times right now. I've lost a few birthdays to these harder times and it was demoralising. Xmas too.
Do you think you need an increase of the med?
Sorry to here it's all hard times right now. I've lost a few birthdays to these harder times and it was demoralising. Xmas too.
Do you think you need an increase of the med?
I thinking of increasing it to max if I do go back on them. I am indeed demoralized right now. I just keep telling myself to keep on moving.
MyNameIsTerry
04-01-17, 23:03
I thought you had already gone back on? Did you come off them again?
I guess you could try and work upwards and see if you reach a point where they work better for you. Or try a different one?
I thought you had already gone back on? Did you come off them again?
I guess you could try and work upwards and see if you reach a point where they work better for you. Or try a different one?
I went off them. SSRI sizzled out and I saw no further point in taking them. I am still looking at others.
Pretty miserable. Feel like my sanity is being tested right now.
MyNameIsTerry
06-02-17, 08:50
The start of a new year can be difficult. My anxiety tends to be worse in January. Depression used to be too. Even before my anxiety many people I worked with agreed it was a naturally stressful month, money is tight due to how Xmas moves paydays apart plus we have spent up on it and it can be a boring depressing month.
And you've got all the media craziness at the moment.
Perhaps be wary of the media as they will be peddling armageddon right now. They are over here. It's garbage. Most people will be rolling their eyes at how our press go ape shit over anything.
Distract yourself. Get some exercise as that was helping you.
It's a bit difficult right now and yeah the world is a mad house right now. Mother might need to return to the hospital, coincidences are biting at me, exhausted overall. Just keep swimming in guess.
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.2.5 Copyright © 2024 vBulletin Solutions Inc. All rights reserved.