dally
18-12-15, 00:22
I used to love Xmas and host Xmas day for 10=12 people.
I was stressed. Took Valium, but overall enjoyed the day.
Last few years have been a nightmare. The expectation that I can still do everything I once did is overwhelming. I cannot guarantee I will not have a major PA and be able to cook Xmas dinner! The thought of letting people down is catastrophising.
I have tried rationalising it, by saying in the worse case scenario I will order Chinese take away on Xmas day, but I am overwhelmed with the responsibility and fear of becoming hysterical in front of people and ruining their Xmas day!
I have also just been 'forced' to have visitors for 8 days over Xmas!!
Theyre FAM, they just asked to stay, I have the room, I DONT have a reason to say no, except admit I am a 'nutter' which at this stage, I am not willing to do and I honestly do not believe they would truly understand my anguish. Especially as I have hosted Xmas before.
I hate feeling so pathetic, I want to build\keep\make happy memories, but my mental health is crucifying me.
I have a severe overwhelming feelings of doom, which is sparking major panic attacks
I am 10 months off Valium and have only betalockers to take, which do help a little with PA. but not with doom thoughts
I was stressed. Took Valium, but overall enjoyed the day.
Last few years have been a nightmare. The expectation that I can still do everything I once did is overwhelming. I cannot guarantee I will not have a major PA and be able to cook Xmas dinner! The thought of letting people down is catastrophising.
I have tried rationalising it, by saying in the worse case scenario I will order Chinese take away on Xmas day, but I am overwhelmed with the responsibility and fear of becoming hysterical in front of people and ruining their Xmas day!
I have also just been 'forced' to have visitors for 8 days over Xmas!!
Theyre FAM, they just asked to stay, I have the room, I DONT have a reason to say no, except admit I am a 'nutter' which at this stage, I am not willing to do and I honestly do not believe they would truly understand my anguish. Especially as I have hosted Xmas before.
I hate feeling so pathetic, I want to build\keep\make happy memories, but my mental health is crucifying me.
I have a severe overwhelming feelings of doom, which is sparking major panic attacks
I am 10 months off Valium and have only betalockers to take, which do help a little with PA. but not with doom thoughts