Bad day!

[daisy2]

Hi all,

I feel totally lost today, i am so tired of trying to fight this anxiety, i never seem to get a rest from it, its the last thing i think about at night, and the first thing i think about in the morning. My mood has been so low now for months i wonder if i will ever be happy again.

All that keeps going through my mind is why,why me? what i have done so bad to have this thing in my life. When i was younger i was always the one that cared about other people and listened to there problems, i have never gone out of my way to be nasty to anyone else, and yet here i am depressed and lonely.

I dont want to die but the thought of living like this for the rest of my life scares me so much. Some days i spend the whole day crying.
Will it ever get any better? its been five (maybe more) years that i have lived with axiety and panic attacks and depression, i dont have a life i just exsist. Anyone else ever feel like that?

I am sorry to go on sometimes i just need to get it all out!!!:emot-crying:
Daisy.

[Karen]

Hi Daisy

Sorry you are having such a hard time right now. I suspect most of us have thought 'why me?' on numerous occasions, or in my case I see my current suffering as being punishment for being born bad, but that's low self esteem and years of negative reinforcement.

Even though you have had anxiety for the time you have so far there is nothing to say you won't or cannot recover. I recognise all too well the feelings of being so exasperated that I feel like giving up, but even though I feel like that something inside me keeps me pushing forward - sometimes 1 step forward and 3 back, but forward anyway. You can too.

Have a read of some of the posts in the 'success' forum and perhaps start cutting down what you think you need to overcome into smaller and smaller bits until they start to become a bit more easily managed. Baby steps is often the way forward.

Are you receiving any help like CBT? I've just started and find it is helping me to start question and challenge some of my negative thoughts already.

I hope tomorrow is better for you.

Karen x

[RachelC]

Hi Daisy,
Im always scared about having to live the rest of my life like this. And of course its not you, all the people I have met through this site are perfectly lovely. No one deserves to have to live this way, we were just born lucky I guess. Just keep moving. Try and get some hobbies to help you through the rough spots, things that dont make you feel anxious. Youve got to have something to look forward to, and to be excited about.
Im a huge film and music buff. Helps to have somethin like that you enjoy when there are days you cant leave the house.
We've got lives, theyre different from everyone else's thats for sure, but we've got them. One thing youve got to do is stop spending the day crying thinking about how rough it is, I dont mean that to sound harsh because Ive done my fair share. When youre not feeling anxious youve got to learn to really enjoy those moments, no matter what youre doing, just enjoy the calm of it.

[daisy2]

Thanks for the replies,

Feeling a bit better today, i am usually stronger than what i was yesterday, got to try and look to the future, at the end of the day i was not born like this, its something that has developed, so i am sure it can be overcome.
I think sometimes i find it hard cause i feel that the people around me dont really understand whats going on, and cause it has been going so long,i dont talk to my friends or family about it any more, infact they all think i am better.
Anyway got to try and keep chin up, and i think i will try and go to the doctors next week, and start getting myself some kind of treatment sorted, wish me luck as i hate going to the doctors!!

Thanks again,
Daisy

[happyone]

Daisy,
I don't know that I can offer any constructive advice. I can however relate to where you are coming from.
My family think I am better too. They know that something isn't right, but not to the extent of the road that my thoughts take me. I do try to tell them, but it is too painful for them to bear so I talk it through with a therapist. That helps in the short term, I suppose it might in the long term too.
I am glad you are going to doctors, it was definately a step in the right direction for me. I am so glad that I have the support of my GP and other health care professionals.
Keep on posting on here too Honey if it helps. There are lots of us in similar boats or have been.
Let us know how you get on at docs.

Take care
Happyone
xx

[daisy2]

Hello to all,

Feeling so much better today, have had a long hard think about this, and i have made up my mind, i am going to fight this thing all the way, i am demanding my life back!
Thanks so much to you guys for the replies, it really has helped me.

Nina x x x

[Karen]

Great news Daisy and a good decision.

Are you seeing your doctor to ask for help?

Karen x

[Jode]

Hiya

I know exactly where youre coming from.
But honestly chin up girl
Just remember it wont kill ya, youre not on your own.
Take care
Luv Jo xxx