first post. Looking for support

[happylyfe]

Hi there. I am a 26 year old female new to this forum. I recently have experienced a traumatic episode of random anxiety/panic attacks that have never before been an issue in my life up until the last 3 months. I have a very supportive/loving family, no finacial stress, no kids, and a loving boyfriend who treats me like gold and is the love of my life. Back in September I started to get panic attacks for no reason. They eventually turned into nocturnal panic attacks that would cripple me in my sleep. I live and work 6 hours away from my parents and my boyfriend and I had a panic episode that lasted 2 days straight to the point where I could not function, eat or sleep and my parents emergency flew me home. I stayed with them for 6 weeks and was admitted to the hospital for 1 of these weeks in the psych ward for evaluation. I was diagnosed with panic disorder and major depressive episode and put on 150 mg of effexor and .5 mg of klonopin. I honestly couldnt believe what was happening. My mom eventually drove me home to try and get me back to my life and back to my job. I have now been back for 7 weeks. I am doing good for the most part. I am back working but I still have days of feeling depression and general anxiety like dread and nervousness about no apparent things. I am having a very hard time adjusting to this, its like I woke up one day back in september and my life changed with this anxiety and depression. I have been on the effexor for 8 weeks now. My number one passion in life is travel. I have done many trips including backpacking europe solo. Ever since this event of anxiety and hospilization I feel traumatized and my love for travel has turned into a fear of leaving. I have always wanted to go to India and two days ago i booked a 12 day trip in february but now I am starting to panic :( I guess what im looking for is just some advice or support from others. Im also wondering if anyone has a story somewhat like mine where panic and anxiety has hit out of no where for no apparent reason and if it gets better? Thank you for those who have read this far.

[uru]

Hi ;)

Do you know what your panic/anxiety is about?

Have you tried going for counselling? There are also a lot of good websites/books about anxiety and panic which you could read.

[winduptoy]

Hey Happylyfe,

I'm sorry to hear you're struggling. When anxiety hits the first time it's incredibly scary and overwhelming, and therein lies the problem, we're then on the lookout for it – the slightest physical symptom and we're off and running!

I'm sure you wanted it to stop. Actually I'm pretty sure you'd be thinking you NEED it to stop. The thing is, you don't. It feels awful, yes, but that is all it is...it's just a feeling.

Like sadness, happiness, excitement, anger - anxiety is just another emotion, and the good thing is emotions and feelings pass, but only if we allow them to. If we sit waiting for anxiety to come knocking on our door then you may as well invite it in for dinner, give it a nightcap and fluff up the pillow!

As nuts as this sounds, accepting it gives it less power. Here are some things that I find work to accept that anxiety is our new BFF, albiet an unwanted one (because yes of course nobody wants to feel it, we don't have to like it...just accept it):

- Keeping myself busy (big thumbs up for going back to work!)
- Stay connected with family and friends (solitude isn't wonderful when you're anxious and depressed)
- Exercise (this really works wonders)
- Making a list of all the things I want to achieve in life despite anxiety (because yes, you can travel with it)
- Doing fun things (laughter, even just half a smirk if that's all we can muster, breaks through anxiety)

Oh, and if you haven't already I highly recommend you buy a book by Claire Week's called Hope and Help For Your Nerves. It's about a billion years old but it's basically the anxious sufferers bible. I carry it with me pretty much wherever I go (which is a whole other topic - hello crutch!) because I know reading it knocks some sense back into my day.

This DOES get better, it really does. Just give yourself some time, trust in the process and keep putting one foot in front of the other...and soon enough you'll be in India :)

[happylyfe]

Thank you so much for your replies and support it means a lot!

[cdsabes]

Hi Happylyfe

My first post on here too! Im sorry to hear about your sudden onset of anxiety. I had a similar experience last year. I started going home a lot more and eventually made the decision to move back home. (Im 23 and work as a teacher). Sometimes we dont have a rhyme or reason for the anxiety but we all find ways to cope. I also love travel and somethings that I find really helpful are creating schedules and back up plans

I make as detailed a schedule as possible and whenever I feel myself getting anxious I go over the schedule which tends to help. This can backfire if needing to be flexible is a struggle for you. But for me I find it easier to have a schedule that needs to change every now and then than having a bunch of unstructured time. I also always find that having a back up plan helps. Telling myself that even If I get there and I want to turn around and go home I can do that. Giving yourself permission to try and fail can help. So often our fear is of failing and so we forget to even try.

I myself am confronting this right now, Im flying to FL to see my boyfriends family for the first time and Ive come so close to canceling so many times.

[happylyfe]

Thank you for your reply! I am a schedule person as well and unfortunately I work 4:30 pm- 11:30 pm leaving me alot of free time with not much to do and I am sleeping a lot because I can, I dont have many friends here and the ones I do have work when I dont work.

[beatroon]

Hi Happylyfe,

Wanted to say that I have experienced pretty much the same as you. I have always been an anxious soul, but in September of this year a bout of relationship stress, work stress and a bereavement sent me into a massive spin. The anxiety and depression were like nothing I had ever experienced before and I was completely at a loss to see why it had got so bad so quickly - from one day to the next I went from functioning working person, to crying all the time and unable to see the good in anything. With the help of meds and CBT I am getting back on my feet, but hopefully by sharing my experience you'll see that you're not alone. I too went home to my parents for a bit just to get my balance back!

Things that have helped are definitely keeping busy, trying not to ruminate, eating well, sleeping well, running, and not being afraid to ask for support when I need it. The thing is to not lose your confidence over what is happening - it is an illness like any other and if you'd broken your leg, you wouldn't worry about it so much!

Anyway - I hope this is of some help! Sending love and encouragement x

---------- Post added at 17:14 ---------- Previous post was at 17:11 ----------

ps I also think that after an episode like this it's quite normal to feel 'jangly' for a while as your system calms down. I notice that whenever the phone rings I jump nowadays, which I didn't used to! One thing that really helps settle me is hypnotherapy tapes on Youtube, another is doing diaphragmmatic (belly) breathing - in for a count of 4, out for 7. It really calms you down when you start to feel anxiety symptoms, and my therapist said that if you do it for a few weeks it will release the opposite chemical to adrenalin, and start to get you back on track. Hope this is helpful. xx