So scared and upset, please help me :(

[soworried80]

Hi everyone. I’m so scared and upset right now, because I feel like I have every symptom of leukemia. L This all started this past weekend because I found what looked like a bruise on the bottom of my back. I can’t quite tell if it’s a bruise, it could be a shadow, that’s how small and light it is. My boyfriend says he can’t see anything there. I don’t think I have anymore bruises on my body. Some of you have told me that with leukemia, you would have a LOT of very big and dark bruises. Also this weekend I found these purple splotches on my backside. They look kind of like stretch marks. They are only visible during the day, when I’ve been up and around on my feet. In the mornings when I get up they aren’t even visible. Since they come and go is this a good sign? Another thing: I’m about to start my period, and last night I woke up kind of sweaty. It wasn’t a full blown night sweat, just dampness on my chest and neck and back mostly. I didn’t have to change clothes or anything. This is pretty normal for me and has happened before around the time of my period. One other thing: when I was brushing my teeth this morning my gums bled a little in between two of my teeth. It stopped pretty suddenly when I put my finger on them. Also, I brushed my teeth again a few minutes later to see if it would do it again and it did not. I have been told that if I had leukemia I would have a lot of fatigue and really would be very sick, which I’m not. Last week every day at work I did 20-40 flights of stairs for exercise. I had a leukemia scare about five years ago, and I remember what set off the panic attack was that my gums bled a little when I brushed my teeth one morning. That’s what happened this morning, and I feel like I’m having déjà vu. That other time I went and had a blood test and everything was normal. The doctors pretty much thought I was crazy and put me on anti-anxiety medicine. Please someone give me some advice. I have been crying all day and I’m at work and it’s so hard to function. Has anyone else been through this? I called my mom this morning and she tried to reassure me I don’t have leukemia, but I’m still so panicked.

Thanks, as usual

Ashley

[russ]

Hi Ashley,

Sorry to read you are having a bad time.

What was your scare before? To me it sounds like you haven't overcome this issue yet.

You know the chances of you having leukemia are very low indeed.

To me it sounds like you are describing things most people have to put-up with on a daily basis.

Try and relax and take your mind off this for a few days. I'm sure you will be fine!

[Under~The~Stars]

Hey Ashley,

I'm really sorry you're feeling bad just now :hugs:

It sounds like your anxiety is taking over, and your noticing lots of little things and telling yourself it's leukemia. I suffer from health anxiety, and would be the exact same in your position. When I get things I automatically think the worst, however, it never is what I think it is :oopsie: It's always just little things that I have picked up on and chose to believe they are all connected and that it's something serious. Anxiety is a very powerful thing. But we can try and cope with it better with time and the right help and support.

Are you getting any help? Why not go to the doctors and have a chat with them about how you're feeling? Talking helps. :)

[soworried80]

Thanks so much for your replies. When I get all these "symptoms" at the same time I can't help but link them together, especially when it's a disease with random and vague symptoms like leukemia. To answer your question Russ, before when I was scared of leukemia, I had a small bruise, or what I thought was a bruise on my hand that I obsessed over for a month before I went to the doctor. Just last week I stayed home from work obsessing about a mole/freckle that had some dry skin over it. I was having panic attacks over it. That's how ridiculous I am. My mom thinks I am internalizing some issues in my personal life. Russ, when you said that my chance of having this disease was small...do you have any statistics or anything? I'm always very comforted by numbers :) . Thanks so much again.

Ashley

[miss diagnosis]

hi ya

I go through the lukemia phase from time to time
A friend of mine died from it aged 15.
I was convinced i had it even though my last blood test was fine!
I get bruises all the time too.you can bump off things without realising.
Also i always bruise after sex even if its gentle as can be!!!

dont worry im sure ur grand!!

[Meg]

Ashley

IF you had leukaemia you would have symptoms that you have not mentioned here at all.

Everything you have mentioned are all fairly common complaints/ issues and in no way can they be pulled together and used as a diagnosis.

It sounds like you are spending too long trying to look at your back view.

If you can't shift the thoughts, then that same blood test can be done again to ease your mind but really from what you've said you have no evidence to support your thoughts of having this illness so read the Health Anxiety article on your left and try to counter and challenge these thoughts.

[soworried80]

Meg,

I almost laughed (a relief to laugh) when you said you're spending too much time looking at your back view. It's true!! This all started when I was looking at a mole on my back. You're right, and thank you so much for the reassurance. :D

Ashley

[Meg]

Ta da..

Energy follows thought. Think scared = feel scared.

and when we're concentrating so hard on whats wrong - whatever we see we have the ability to turn into some vile illness.

Our minds are vulnerable - they believe what we tell them .

[kittykat]

Hi Ashley,

I underwent a blood test because I was bruising really easily, I was covered in them and I was really worried ( nothing new in that for me ). The blood test came back normal everything was fine.
You would defo have a lot more symptoms if you had this serious illness, we are always bumping into things without realising we're doing it. Plus some people do bruise easier than others, try not to worry as im convinced your fine.

Take care

shirley xx

[mirry]

my cousin had lukemia 6 years ago and it was a shock cos she was in her 30s, she recovered from it fine, Im glad to say.
At the time tho she had no bruises ? she had lost alot of weight and didnt know why and her mouth had 30 + ulcers in it, she looked like a coat hanger.
You havent got Lukemia Im sure, I always get bruised easily, ussually around my thighs (then again they are so big they are bound to get bashed alot ,lol)....... ooo Im not saying youve got a big backside tho :p
health anxiety is an illness in itself , Ive had inflamation in my ribs lately and cos they run under my breast and it hurts I was convinced it was cancer,,
mindfulness helps for this :rolleyes: ,take care

[Lissy43]

(((hugs))))

Gosh I could of written this 2 yrs ago honestly I ws the same. I get like this now & again even now.

I use to cry, I was obsessed I had leakemia. I had bleeding gums, loads of dark large bruises, tiredness etc.... and it was all due to low iron, my dr took blood and i was fine but I was in a right state with my anxiety, my GP must of thought I was barmy.

The day before my period I always wake up sweaty just like you explained, its normal.

Honestly you will be fine but please go see your Dr, do not leave this to eat away at you. None of us can reassure you because its your fear, reassurance is also not good at all (says me who asks on here from time to time, lol) but go see your DR, explain what your feeling and get them to do a blood test.

If you have leakemia honestly you would know, i know the symptoms and yes I lost weight, gums bled and my bruises were everywhere and HUGE but I was fine.

[Clare_ice]

I also do this, anytime i have any kind of pain or symptom I always think the worst. I know i souldnt coz it makes u stress all the time, i dont know why i do it either, i think im just a big worrier! xx

[marlou]

hey honey, listen, I have a friend with leukemia (3 yrs down the line she is still fighting!!) but her bruises were the size of dinner plates and they were on her stomach!!! no posssible explanation!! and added to that she was so tired she couldnt drive her kids to school or find the energy to hoover a very average size carpet, so Ihope this helps

[skye]

Hi chick, please please stop worying yourself sick. My gums bleed sometimes after i brush my teeth and i bruise pretty easy, always bruises on me. If it makes you feel better go to the doctors, get some blood tests just to rest your mind. Im sending you a big hug, now calm yourself down, deep breathe and go do something that makes you smile, see some friends, confide in them how much you worry im sure they will make you feel better x

[STEPHYUNO]

Hi Ashley, I really feel for you, I know what it is like to have health worries and they are tied in with the anxiety, they are intrinsically linked, when we are feeling anxious we tend to look at the worst case scenario in terms of physical health, this is very common, so you are not alone.
I think the waking up in sweats is a symptom of the underlying anxiety and will go when you feel more secure again which you will.
I hope everthing gets better for you real soon, hugs Stephen x