Melanoma fears

[KeeKee]

Aaaah, I haven't been on here in many months and thought I had overcome (not entirely of course) my severe health anxiety. I have been doing relatively well but am now terrified I have melanoma. I have a mole on my stomach that I would describe as Atypical or even Dysplastic. I am convinced it has grown a little and I never had it at all 3 to 4 years ago so it has obviously come from something. It is 5mm at its longest point. I have a GP appointment next week but the fear is severely affecting my life I am waking through the night in a panicked state and (sorry tmi) my bowel movements are very watery due to my anxious state. I have Googled melanoma and they tend to look quite harsh and obvious but then you get the odd one which doesn't even look cancerous. I'm so scared I know it will ruin Xmas for me. Does anyone have any helpful advice? It is all slightly risen but is definitely not symmetrical. Also, I had the doctor check over my stomach around 8 months ago as I was getting a pain in the same place all the time and they will have obviously seen this mole. If it looked suspicious do you think they would have pointed it out? I feel ill, moreso because if it was Melanoma then I have had it for at the very least 2 years and it would most likely have spread. I'm so upset have been doing fine for months then completely in bits just before Christmas.

[snowflake293]

Hi KeeKee

Sorry to hear you have all this worry right before Christmas. I can relate cause last year I had a funny looking mole around Christmas time and I was in a real state panicking over it. It turned out to be nothing, like all my other moles :)

I have a lot of atypical moles. Some are big, some are small - I have an irregular one that is very dark which has always worried me but its fine :)

Like you say, when you Google photos of melanomas they are very distinctive so please try not to worry to much about your mole. Seriously, if the mole looked worrying to the Dr they would have pointed it out when they examined you.

Its awful when you have this worry eating away at you, it just seems to spoil everything doesnt it? I found listening to guided meditation helped me, as did talking to people close to me about how I feel. Its not easy, but you will come through this. xx

[KeeKee]

Thank you so much for replying snowflake. It also reassures me to know you too have Atypical ones. I just feel horrendous moreso because I have had it a few (2 at least) years and never thought anything of it but last week it stuck out like a sore thumb and I'm convinced it looks different. I'm hoping that's just my mind playing tricks but it definitely is Atypical. I just don't know how I'll get through this next week. I'm googling constantly I know I shouldn't but I have so much spare time and can't help myself. I hate being around my family when I feel this way and that is unavoidable on Christmas. My partner has been at work and is also at work tomorrow so I have just been sitting stewing. I even don't really fancy food and I'm usually a pig even when depressed :-(
I've read a few horror stories tonight too why do I do this to myself! I don't even care if it leaves the ugliest scar ever I want it removing even if doctor thinks it looks fine (which I highly doubt they will). The only good thing is it isn't really dark but isn't light either I'd say medium brown but I'm sure it used to be lighter. Just wish I could put or off my mind until my appointment because my worrying won't solve anything.

[snowflake293]

Honestly, your mole doesn't sound like anything nasty at all. I know what its like to worry like this though - and it is totally exhausting. My HA was so bad last Christmas I was dry heaving in the mornings!

I like my food too and tend to eat more when depressed, but when I am really anxious I cant eat at all, I just dont feel like it.

Try not to read any more stuff online, you know it will only make you feel worse. Take comfort in the fact the doctor would have pointed it out when they looked at your tummy and if they thought it was dodgy they would have said.

I have so many weird moles. I have one on my arm that has changed a tiny bit recently but I know its only cause I picked it so I don't worry about it too much. I worry cause I literally have hundreds, I have pale skin too and have been badly sunburnt in the past so I know I am at a higher chance of having skin cancer.

The important thing is to be vigilant, but not obsessed (easier said than done) what really helped me is knowing that statistically, most forms of skin cancer are really easy to cure and things are picked up on pretty easily.

Really hope you feel better soon. Honestly, I wish I could reassure you more cause you sound so similar to me and I know how 'real' the fear is!

Hope you manage to have a good xmas regardless xx

[KeeKee]

Thanks again snowflake. I haven't really Googled today although I did look at related posts on here and one person said they had Melanoma and their mole was 'speckled' and that's definitely how I'd describe mine.I do have another small speckled one but it's an oval shape whereas this one is irregular. I know worrying won't change anything but my appt isn't until Tuesday I just don't know how I'll get through these next few days. It's awful to say as I have an 8 year old but I am not looking forward to tomorrow at all. My stomach has been churning for days I can't see it being any different tomorrow. I know Melanoma is easily treated if caught early but I've had this for a few years and that's why I'm so worried. I do hope the GP would have mentioned anything if it looked suspicious.

[KeeKee]

Well I went the the GP yesterday they took one look at it and said it isn't Melanoma at all and in fact I have a very similar (albeit smaller) one on my side :-0.
So I feel much better now, it can apparently look worse in a photograph so the picture on my phone wasn't really what it looked like apparently. I was told they can grow, darken even shrink over time and although you should be aware of Melanoma, it's actually quite normal to experience change in new and old moles. I also asked about it being hairless as I've read countless times that hairless means dodgy (this one is hairless) but they said whether it has hairs or not is irrelevant in Melanoma diagnoses. Just a shame I couldn't be seen before Christmas as it completely ruined it for me, I couldn't even finish my dinner which is very unusual for me. On the plus side I list 4lbs with worry so hopefully I'll keep that off ;-)
Now, if I could just stop worrying about my ears feeling blocked.......