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View Full Version : Fed up with my health anxiety



poppy77
26-12-15, 22:41
I suppose as far back as my early 20s, I have had mild health anxiety issues - my family used to think it was funny that I would be a bit of a hypochondriac about things. I do think anxiety is slightly in my family though (I heard it can be slightly hereditary), my mum can be a bit highly strung and my dad is a bit of a worried about health as well.

Since my mid 30s my health anxiety has got much worse. Mainly due to two things: firstly, two of my friends died young of cancer and also, I have become a mum which makes me keenly aware that I need to be around and healthy for my children. This has made me very easily worried about my health. The first time I really worried was after the birth of my middle child, I had labrynthitis, which I worried was leukaemia, MS etc. Things settled down for a few years until this year.

I gave birth to my daughter in July and all was well. I was checking my stitches in September and discovered a lump down there which sent me into panic overdrive. The Drs (I went to three) all told me it was a Bartholin Gland Cyst and fairly common. It has got a lot smaller and has virtually disappeared now but for a month I googled things and worried to the extent that it made me feel stressed out. I also started developing slight abdominal pain to the lower right side and lower back off and on. I got really worried and paid for a private abdominal ultrasound which came up clear. I still worried. It turns out I have a prolapse from childbirth. This doesn't worry me as I know it's not a life threatening thing. What worries me is if the pains are actually something worse. Luckily the pains (more a tugging sensation) have got a lot better the last few weeks).

Due to anxiety, the last week and a half I have had a bit of a burping, swallowing, lump in throat thing which has worried me.

My husband and family are getting really fed up with me which I can understand, I would too! They just can't understand how I get myself into a position of worry like this. I know I am over reacting but can't seem to stop myself or Googling symptoms. I also have been to the Drs a few times and worry they think I am a fruit loop! I just want to stop this cycle of worry, anxiety and making myself feel ill. I absolutely do not want to pass this health anxiety on to my children. I have thought about asking to see someone about it (I don't want to take medication at the moment as I am breastfeeding) but my mum has put me off saying it will go on a psychiatric record.

I just feel crap about myself and also hate the constant worrying. I just want to feel like I did four months ago before I found that cyst and started this cycle of worrying.

---------- Post added at 22:41 ---------- Previous post was at 22:32 ----------

Plus tonight I found another small cyst when I was checking to see if the Bartholin Gland had gone away, which I tried to pop with a sterilized needle (boiling water and alcohol and put on antiseptic afterwards). I just didn't want another lump type thing to worry about 'down there'. I told my husband who said this was a really stupid thing to do and I could give myself blood poisoning. Of course, my HA has gone into overdrive and I have now convinced myself that is what will happen. J have just phoned Aviva online GP (we have health cover) who has reassured me that I don't need to drive up to A&E tonight.

hopeful927
27-12-15, 00:36
Your post could have easily been written by me. I too suffer from health anxiety. I was like you, always a worrier, but after my mom died from cancer it went into overload. The first thing you HAVE to do is go for counselling, specifically cognitive behavioural therapy. It teaches you to retrain your brains way of thinking. It really is one of the only ways to conquer ha. Also, medication may be an option but I would definitely go for cbt. I do both, and it has certainly given me more strategies to fight back against the anxiety.