help

[banky182uk]

can anyone advise me on what i should do when my husband is having a panic attack. he finally opened up to me last night and told me why hes been so distant .... hes scared something terrible is going to happen to either of us :(

[banky182uk]

tried getting him to talk he just says cant cope and walks out leaving me to worry for hours on end :(

[wobily_lin]

Aww,

((hugs)) go you..

My advice again is to talk to him..b very patient..it is the fear that is makn him run, and more than likely he doesn't want you to see him when he is having an attack or anxious...it is so hard..for both of you..

Reassure him that you will be there for him..he has made a brave step by tellin you so you should be proud of him for that and him of himself too..

Yes try n get him to go to the gp but I think he needs to gain that confidence with you first maybe b4 he will go...just talk talk talk and loadsa love...more hugs...xxx

[banky182uk]

aproached the dr subject last night omg you would have thought id just commited the ultimate crime ............ why would i want to tell a dr im scared of dying !!! also quote ... im not a failure, told him he aint a failure far from it love this man soooo much but hes shutting me out :(:(

[kimmy]

Hes very scared of what he is experiencing and confussed. In the past people thought if mental health as a weakness, I remember my mum a couple of years ago saying she thought i was stronger. That was horrible, was it because im weak? But it wasnt, just because you can see the illness doesnt mean its not there! The stigma around mental illness maybe whats causing your partner some problems. Have you thought about going to the library and finding some books? I read so much and it helped me become aware of why and what was happening. Thsi may help. Has your partner looked on here himself? Take care

[rufus]

hi

As face to face communication seems one step too far for him at the moment, you could try writing down what you feel to him and hopefully he might find it easier to respond in writing. I am an anxiety sufferer and sometimes find it hard to talk about my condition with my hubby as it upsets me - so I sent him an e-mail about how I feel and my appreciation for him etc - I found it easier to say something to him in my own time without becoming over emotional.

I think its vital to try to keep communicating in some form though however difficult.

good luck xx

[banky182uk]

my husband wont vist this forum yet as hes just not ready :( had a really bad day today lots of tears and hiding away from me in the bedroom and should i dare enter it for any reason been not so politely told to go away so have respected that and left him alone tho extremly hard cant stand him suffering alone. the only real contact we have had is when he went out to clear his head was by txt and yes he seems to be a little bit more open by txt
i do no his aunt commited suicide when depressed and his uncle is in sheltered accomdation thru mental illness im sure he is very very scared he is going to end up the same way :( but surely there must be help for him its just a taboo subject when i mention the dr im scared too :( i cant just sit here and watch the man i love and adore suffer anymore :(:(

[kimmy]

You can go to the doctor on his behalf, if you are worried. When anxiety first comes on its petrefying. I couldnt talk to anyone and paced the house. Everything seemed so loud and I just couldnt concentrate. With all the thoughts going round and round I thought I was schizophrenic, obviously these thoughts fuelled my anger.

I suppose your husband going to his GP is actually admitting to himself theres a problem there, and sometimes over coming that first step is the most challenging but can give you the most relief too.

Im sure the thoughts of your husbands aunty death and uncles illness is plagueing his mind too.

Your husband is lucky to have you. Just be gentle with him and look after yourself too. Is your husband eating and drinking? Its best that he avoids alcohol, sweet drinks and caffine etc.

I used to love cold water.

xx

[banky182uk]

neither of us drink :D he mainly drinks water. and yes he is eating its me that isnt guess thats the worry. thanks for the encouraging "hes lucky to have you " quote tho not sure he is as im not able to do anything without getting it wrong at the moment :( tho he did tell me he didnt want to worry me and has been having PAs for about a year now how did i miss this not such a good wife after all eh :( will the dr actually discuss my husband with me ????

[kimmy]

You are a fantastic wife. People are often shocked when I said I had panics, becuase people just didnt know. I didnt feel any diffrent to them, neither should you of yourself. PA are often a personal thing. You shouldnt beat yourself up at all.

Your doc will talk to you about it, he wont talk about anything your partner has discussed with him previously. You can explain the situation and often they can reasurre you- you can ask questions etc. Give it a go, you have notning to lose.

Dont beat yourself up about it all,

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
im on msn if you want to chat kim_wilkinson487@hotmail.com

[Granny Primark]

Banky its a taboo subject cus hes frightened to admit hes got a problem and may appear weak in your eyes.
My dad died age 66 in a mental hospital. He had alzeimers. Perhaps your hubbys afraid that cus of family history he may end up the same as some of his family.
Try to reassure him that its not the case.
Hes lucky to have you as his wife giving him loads of support and encouragment.

Take care
LYNN xx

[banky182uk]

another not so good night awake at 3 with hubby, he suffers with migraines they are getting worse couldnt even go to work yesterday ....... tells me the horrible thought he has a brain tumor (im sure this aint the case) but trying to tell him so proved difficult !! quote what do i no have i suddenly qualified as a dr!! to watch him on the floor curled up like a baby is awful how much longer till he will go to dr :(
btw thanks for all your support dont think i could of got thru it without you xxxxxxxxxxxxx