Health anxiety back due to accutane

[.Poppy.]

Hey all. I've had acne since I was about 12 years old; I am now 24. It wasn't too bad starting out, though of course no one else had it at all at 12 years old, so it was a problem. When I hit 16 it got even worse - it's mainly cystic in nature and has left scarring. I've tried just about every pill, topical, and light treatment out there and my derm finally told me that accutane would be the best bet.

I am currently on my 3rd month of a 5/6 month treatment. Overall, my acne has improved greatly. I still get spots, but not nearly as many and they generally aren't as big. I've also had a few instances where I felt something under my skin that previously would have turned super red and erupted into a cyst; instead there was just a very tiny pimple if anything at all. I'm pleased with this, and hoping as time goes on it gets even better. I'm on 60 mg daily now, which my derm says is the average dose for a person of my size (5 ft. 6 inches and 130 pounds). She offered to raise the dose, but I said no.

Anyway, I haven't had terrible side effects up until this point. My skin is a little dry, so are my lips, but really not terribly so. My skin is usually oily, I'd say now it's "slightly dry". The most noticeable dryness is the lips, but then I've always been sensitive about having dry lips.

There are a lot of people who claim anxiety/depression was an issue, but for me so far it hasn't been. But then, I already had anxiety. I've had one episode where I was crying in my room, which would seem alarming but isn't unusual for me at all. I doubt it was the medication and was instead just stress.

I HAVE had joint pain. It's probably the most concerning side effect. It started in my heels, just when I woke up in the morning - then it goes away. But in the past week my lower back, shoulders, and even hips have been a little tender. The lower back has a spot where it almost feels bruised - it hurts if I press. There's no bruise, though.

Of COURSE I looked on Google and found a whole bunch of side effects. Many people say they got better and are happy they took the drug; but I've become more worried about those who say their joint pain lasted years, or they had other side effects like losing hair. I am so, so scared that in the next couple of months all kinds of horrible things will happen to me.

I meet with my doc monthly and have monthly blood tests of course (all good - I have slightly high cholesterol but apparently that's not alarming and I'm not at all overweight). Of course I will ask her about the joint pain and everything else. I just can't shake the fear that I'm going to have all of these awful things happen to me. I'm also terrified that my acne will seem to get better and then will just come back again.

I know no one can really help me here and that I will have to ask my doc myself (which I will) but I just feel so scared and low right now. I haven't felt this way about my health in YEARS and even though I've consistently had anxiety I thought I was done with HA. :unsure:

[Sam Winter]

aw i'm feeling for ya hun xx i'm the same i'd probably be getting weekly checkups if it was up to me haha it can be a horrible thing and although i can't really help you i can say that i understand and i'm here for you, keep me updated and stay well! :hugs:

~I got told when i was older all my fears would shrink but now i'm insecure, and i care what people think~

[.Poppy.]

Thanks. I definitely did my research before starting, and spoke to a lot of people who had done it and were happy with the medication. To be honest, at the time I felt like I was willing to take on the risk.

There are a lot of good reviews online, plenty of people who did it and are totally happy.

But of course, there are bad reviews too - and those are the easiest to fixate on.

Probably what scares me most is the idea of what's to come. Right now, it's totally tolerable. But I'm in the third month and had almost no side effects the first two. What if the pain gets worse, or I get slammed with a bunch of other side effects in the next two months, or even in the future since apparently there are people who have issues quite awhile AFTER stopping.

What if it doesn't do any good, and my acne comes back anyway?

I keep thinking, I could stop or lower the dosage (and will be talking to my derm about it!) but I already have three months worth in me anyway. Would it even matter to quit at this point?

I've also become hyper aware of every little pain or anything that could be construed as a "side effect". Yesterday, I was a little sore - today I feel awful.

[KayeS]

I'm actually about to start Accutane for the first time next month and feeling quite nervous :/

[Traceypo]

Please bare in mind, that a side effect has to be listed if someone reported it, there's nothing to say that person would have still had those symptoms without taking the medication.
Xx

[.Poppy.]

I'm actually about to start Accutane for the first time next month and feeling quite nervous :/

Good luck! It's actually helped my skin, I do have a few spots still but they're much smaller. Overall, if my skin stayed the way it is at this moment, I'd be happy. I'm sure I'm overreacting, but of course the internet doesn't help to ease my mind much. I'm trying to tell myself to just wait and see what happens, but there is so much "unknown" that makes me uneasy.

And of course now I feel a bit achy; I didn't before and I think it's the anxiety acting up. I don't care for it though.

@Traceypo -- Yes, that sounds reasonable. My derm said before I went on the medication that it's hard to prove some claims as it's difficult to tell if someone would have had problems on their own, without the medication. I think what's most scary is not the idea of suffering side effects while on the medication, but that it could stay in my system for a really long time and cause me problems later, as some people claim. But I guess it's hard to say definitively one way or another, and what's done is done - I'll speak with my doc and go from there. Hopefully everything works out.

[.Poppy.]

I wanted to provide an update (and it's a good one!!)

After being totally terrified and dealing with pain in my back, shoulders, knees, ankles, and hips I decided that I would just wait and bring it up with my derm at our appointment, but not allow myself to dwell on it in the meantime. Easier said than done, I know, but I distracted myself any way I could.

That night I went to bed and put a heating pad on my back to see if it would help the pain a little bit.

I woke up in the morning a little sore in the back, a bit in my ankles, but everything else was fine. Again, I went about my day distracting myself from dwelling on it. That night I slept with the heating pad again, and again woke up feeling even better.

I still have a little stiffness in my ankles when I wake up in the morning, but this morning there was none. And nothing else hurts at all.

So.....it was mostly anxiety related. I kind of knew that, but it's hard to get off that train once you're on it. I'm just glad it didn't take me too far. :) And thanks for all the support!