How can I overcome this?

[MissBee]

Hi guys,

Just looking for some advice or a general chat with people who have been in a similar position to me as I am really struggling at the moment.

I have always been a natural worrier but over the past few years this has stepped up a notch and gradually developed into full blown anxiety. I have read some of the stories on here and I feel lucky compared to some as I am still able to work and live a relatively normal life. However the anxiety is getting progressively worse and is sapping all enjoyment out of things for me.

My main symptom is that when I start feeling anxious I need to empty my bowels urgently. It's sudden, urgent and very embarrassing. I understand that it related to fight or flight and the stress hormone basically speeding up bowel movement. This symptom in itself began to cause me anxiety and over the past few years I have stopped going to certain places where toielts aren't immediately accessible. I avoid travel where possible. I get extremely nervous about meetings, weddings, school plays - basically anything where I am 'confined' and not able to immediately leave and find a toilet.

I have also begun to experience nausea and chest pain which does nothing for my health anxiety either.

I have a three year old son and I try to force myself out of my comfort zone for his sake. We go for days out and things but I'm always on edge. I only relax once I've found a toilet and I'm only truly at ease in my own home. All of my ambitions such as finding a new job have fallen at the wayside due to my anxiety and lack of confidence. I don't even feel able to visit friends who recently moved to London due to the travelling and the possibility of needing a toilet and not knowing where one is.

All of this is in my head and I need to find a way to change my thought processes. I did try CBT but it didn't help me. Maybe I just didn't click with the counsellor but a lot of the exercises he taught me seemed pointless and not relevant to my issues. I haven't tried medication yet as I have heard bad things about it and I can sometimes go through periods of relative calm. But the anxiety is becoming more and more prevalent in my life and I need to try and fix it. I am going to start going to the gym regularly as I hear exercise can be good. Also going to eat better once Christmas and new year are out of the way.

I just wondered if anyone had any other advice or experience they could share. I know anxiety is more common than we think but I honestly feel like I'm the only one suffering sometimes. I drop my son off at school and think 'none of the other mothers feel like this, why do I?'

I'd love to chat to others in the same boat so please let me know how you manage your anxiety and how it interferes with your daily life xx

[uru]

What are you anxious about?

[jadedreams]

Hi there, I have similar issues. I have anxiety, intrusive thoughts and some depression because of the first 2 issues. I have IBS that flares up big time when my anxiety is high and I end up running to the bathroom. This mainly seems to happen to me in the first half of the day as that is usually when my anxiety is higher.

As my anxiety goes down, the IBS and bathroom visits go down. The main thing is to work on ways to lower your anxiety. I am still working on this myself, but feel a bit better at the moment. Have you found anything that helps you calm down? For me deep breathing, distraction in a good movie/book or a call to a loved one usually helps. The main thing for me is to keep busy so I don't get stuck ruminating over things.

[MissBee]

Thank you both for replying.

I don't know why I get anxious. It makes no sense. Usually I'm ok going to work and doing familiar things. But when I have to travel or go to unfamiliar places it starts. I also struggle with formal situations like meetings etc were I feel I can't immediately escape to the loo. A lot of it is illogical and I really don't know why it happens as in my younger years I travelled the world, went to uni and wasn't afraid of anything.

I think distraction is key. And just waiting it out. After I've been in a situation for a while I generally calm down. But that anxious period is really horrible and I'm always convinced I'll need to loo even though the urge can reduce as my anxiety calms down. I just want to stop it altogether, it's really spoiling my quality of life and taking the enjoyment out of things that should be fun. I have made a pledge to exercise and eat better this year as I think lifestyle changes like this may help.

I've also started getting chest pains even when I'm not anxious which worries me :/