View Full Version : How to deal with the thoughts?
I think the thing I struggle most with is the constant thoughts. The overanalysing of every word said or not said, every facial expression made and I always always always come up with the worst possible solution.
It's ruining every aspect of my life because I am always thinking the worst, not trusting people and end up pushing everyone away over things they probably didn't even say/do.
Are there any meds that can help with these thoughts? They're so intrusive, and pretty much constant every day no matter what I'm doing. I know meds can help with the physical symptoms, but I think it's the psychological side I need most help with.
nomorepanic
22-02-07, 19:48
Hi Annie
Have a read of the symptoms page on the left as there are some good bits about thoughts etc that may help
do you really want to be turning to meds? it seems everyone is turning to them and to be fair they dont seem that effective
I suffer from GAD and I think it's important to identify your positive thoughts from your negative thoughts. I found I was getting anxious cos I was concentrating too hard on the negative thoughts and not listening to my positive thoughts so I decided to speak to a counsellor about this. If you feel these thoughts are taking over your life, maybe you should speak to your doctor.
Hi AnnieLu,
Meds can help indirectly but the best way of tackling these intrusive thoughts is through challenging your thought patterns and learning new ways of thinking. Could you see your doc and ask for referral to a Cognitive Behavioural Therapist? Two good books I found that helped me identify patterns of worry and learning how to change them are David Burns' Feeling Good and Dr Robert Leahy, The Worry Cure.
Take Care,
Sarah
My therapist told me when I start to get thoughts is to tell them to f--- off! I am not big on swearing but I have found this to be very good at making them go away very quickly.
Deb
:) Hi Annielou. I found cognitive therapy really helpful in switching negative thoughts around into positive ones. I'm the worlds champion worrier and I am very good at only seeing the worst in a situation huh!) but I find that if I concentrate I can usually find something good in there. It sounds difficult to do this and yeah, it can be hard to break bad habits in your thinking but it's worth giving it a go to see if it works for you.
Re meds, they just seem to mask the thoughts and for me, they seem to make my thinking sluggish and less clear so I don't take them any more. They can be of great help when someone is acutely anxious but I guess its a good feeling when you can help yourself without them. I wish you lots of luck honey-I do hope that you can get some help that will work for you. Best wishes! xxxx
Hey - thanks everyone for replying.
I think I'm maybe making a bit of progress. I've been prescribed Propanolol which is lessening the physical symptoms slightly so I am more able to challenge the negative thoughts...and believe me, I have plenty of those.
I always always always presume the worst, in situations, of other people and of myself. I jump to what are probably the most ridiculous conclusions and they seem so real in my head that I just panic all the more.
I've been talking with my ex these past few days and so many positive, important things have been said but no matter how hard I try I can't seem to focus on them. I just sweep them aside and focus on the negatives...and then blow them up out of al proportion. For example, my ex has a friend who has professed his liking of her, she doens't know how she feels about him so they're going to spend some time together as friends. In my head I already have them married with kids. Even though she says she loves me and can see us together in the future, I can't get him out of my head. I feel he is such a threat to our potential getting back together, and every time I think of him I feel sick, panicky, shakey, hot/cold etc
I've been doing a bit of an online CBT course, and I can see that my thoughts and behaviours fit nicely into neat little categories and that there are ways to combat these, it's just hard work. When every single thought in your head is a negative, warped one...it's tiring and exhausting to have to challenge yourself all the time. I don't want to be thinking about these things, I'd like to get a job and divert my attention to something else instead of sitting and stewing...but I have to spend so much time talking to myself and persuading myself to think in a different way that I have no time or energy to do anything else.
I have been referred to the CMHT, so hopefully they'll suggest something like CBT - though the last time I went they said the waiting list for that was 9 months - and I can't wait that long!
skylight2007
28-02-07, 13:21
Hey there Annielu, how are you? Its an awful thing when you realise your over analysing, I was just wondering is it intrusive thoughts that you have? or are you a person who generally analyses? I can understand how the thoughts can take over your life and whilst meds could help I have heard that meditation could help, even if you tried this for 1 minute to begin with, its all about slowing your thinking down and seeing something for what it is, without adding more to it if that makes sense , hope it does.
The key to practising this is to first focus your mind on something anything, and concentrate on that object , you'll find at first, your mind will wonder thinking other thoughts, but when your aware of this, stop and focus again. You need to bring your mind to focus on that object until you can whilst ignoring the other thoughts.
You could also write down your feelings regarding what is the purpose of you analysing, do you need to have more information about a thing, is it really necessary, not analysing , how would it make you feel etc......
I hope this will help and there just suggestions, take care, skylight
Hey there Annielu, how are you? Its an awful thing when you realise your over analysing, I was just wondering is it intrusive thoughts that you have? or are you a person who generally analyses?
Hey Skylight - I've never been diagnosed with anything other than generalised anxiety disorder, but then I've never been properly assessed or anything - the last time I went to the CMHT it was primarily for depression.
I will try and give your suggestions a go, I am determined to sort things out. I've been like this for so long now I can't remember what life's like not constantly anxious and over-analysing. I found myself lying in bed a few months ago getting worked up about something someone said to me when I was 8, I'm 23 now! It's like with my ex and trying to sort things out, we've said so many good things, things I should be able to focus on and take heart from, (like we love each other, can't see the future without each other etc) but I can't seem to make myself focus on them, instead focussing on the more minor negative things, like she says she needs space. My thought process goes "she needs space - what does she need space for? - does she want to see other people? - if she wants to see other people she can't love me very much - she's only telling me she loves me so she doesn't hurt me even more - she's moving on - there's no hope we'll ever get back together - how can i be friends with her if she's seeing someone else while i'm hoping we'll get back together - that feels like betrayal - if i can't be friends with her i've lost my best friend AND my girlfriend - i have no-one else." And then I'm devastated and heart-broken all over again. All over one little sentence. And I'm like that with everything. All the time :-(
Meditation is something I have considered. I used to do a bit of yoga, and always found that relaxed me and I have been thinking about using my Yoga DVD again...it's just the motivation I guess. There are so many thoughts, all the time, that I seem to get caught up in them - thinking, panicking, trying not to think, panicking, trying to convince myself what I'm thinking is wrong, thinking even more and panicking even more that by the time I get round to thinking "yes I'll do some yoga" the day is gone and I have to deal with getting to sleep now. A friend of a friend has OCD and says I sound like I could have a form of OCD, though I don't know really. It's just another label to add to the increasinly long list.
Hi there..
Good to hear you are making some progress :)
You sound a lot like me. I spend way too much time thinking and over analysing everything. My husband *may* have said sometime on the phone completely normal but i can ALWAYS find a way to twist it so there is something deceitful and dishonest about it.
I believe its because personally i spend everyday alone, my husband works long hours and currently is away on a training course (6 weeks) - but like you, at the beginning of my relationship he was a Sheffield uni and i was down south, we spent masses of time apart and its the not knowing what they are doing that i am sure didn't help my thoughts (plus, he was a bit of a liar to start with!!!!!!!!!!!!!).
Sarah x
Hi Sarah,
Yes I find being at home all the time makes things worse. I'm sure I wouldn't obsess about things quite so much if I had a job or something to occupy my time and mind. It's horrible because it makes them feel like you don't trust them, when it's not really about that at all...it's just everything gets blown way out of proportion and it's hard to distinguish between what's real and what's been made up by your anxiety.
At the moment I'm trying to tell myself it'll be ok. That if I don't give in to the nagging doubts then they can't escalate, which means I'm spending a lot of time on inner dialogue, sort of coaching myself on what's ok to think and what's not ok. I've only really been doing it a day, so I can't say whether it's working or not, but hopefully it'll become habit over time. Afterall, negative thoughts started out the same way and became habit over time too.
Hi Sarahc and AnnieLu,
I have the same thoughts and worries as both of you, i always think my partner is looking at my friend and that he drives past her street and looks down the road, i always say to him i know for a fact your going to cheat on me.
i do sort of know im thinking irrational but i cant help it, i feel like i am so lucky and that somebody is going to take it all away from me.
the doubt has now switched round and i now think i have cheated on him because i went out got drunk and had really bad memory loss, so i have assumed i must have done something even though i have no evidence whatsoever and my mates said i was never really on my own apart from 10 mins. it is so hard having these thoughts i just want them to go.
i am on the waiting list for CBT, and i hope this will help me change the way i think.
Kelly
I woke up this morning relatively calm compared to how I've been feeling recently, and then suddenly out of nowhere came the idea that my ex was having an affair. So then it set off all the panicking again...just because she has the opportunity (we live 3 hours apart) doesn't mean she would...but then again, just because I think "she'd never do that" doesn't mean she wouldn't. Afterall, nobody thinks their partner would actually cheat on them do they? I don't know...it's just really hard.
And we're supposed to be going to Uni in September...me to Sheffield and her to either Salford or Plymouth. I'd love for her to go to Salford, but I have a horrible feeling she'll go to Plymouth cos of the seaside - and it's £75 on the train...we'd never see each other! And the distance was a problem when it only cost £35 to see each other where we are now. Every time I get a little glimpse of hope that we might be able to sort things out I either bugger things up by saying too much (and explaining my doubts and anxieties) or I get insecure and imagine all sorts of things happening (the affairs, the distance) and I feel like I can't win.
And I haven't even heard from the CMHT yet, though I'm losing hope as to how much use that'll be with ridiculously long waiting lists. I need something to change now. :(
Hi Kellym and AnnieLu,
Just to let you both know that there is a monthly magazine called PSYCHOLOGIES and this month there is an article about *overthinking*. I have bought it, but not yet read it....sounds interesting though!!! I often buy this mag as it has some really interesting articles in.
On top of having mental health issues, trying to maintain a *healthy* relationship i find almost impossible. There are many things that have contributed to my *overthinking*, low self esteem, him being a horrible s**t, him saying mean mean things.....none of it helps for me to be *normal*.
Sarah
I just typed out a big reply and then pressed something wrong and it got deleted! *cries*
I wasn't saying much anyway lol just how I had had a pretty good day all things considered, but after a brief disagreement with my ex I am now going to be in a bit of a state.
I'm going to visit her at the weekend, and she's not told anyone. I asked if she could (she's never kept it a secret before, when we were friends or when we were together) and was told it wasn't my place to ask, that she wouldn't be told what to do by anyone, including me, and that I should stop asking so many questions in reply to enquiring whether I'd need to arrive/leave after/before her Mum.
So now I'm left jumping to every available conclusions: she's ashamed of me, she doesn't want them to know, i'm just a dirty little secret to hide away. And we're only friends! It's not like there's anything even going on to hide!
The only thing she's said is that that's not how it is, I should stop thinking about it. Ha! Doesn't she think if it was that easy I would? I have spent hours, days even, explaining my thought processes and how one thing will trigger something else which will lead to over-thinking, and then panic and fear in the hope that she'll understand, but in one short sentence she just blows me out of the water. She really doesn't get it.
Do you think it's possible for anyone who doesn't suffer to truely understand what it's like? And do you think it's reasonable/appropriate to ask the other person to perhaps be aware of how their behaviour might then trigger anxious over-thinking?
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