Something upset me in a big way today.

[KayeS]

My mum knows how I suffer with health anxiety and I was talking to her about it this evening, and she said to me, "I pray every night that you'll wake up feeling better in the morning".

What that basically means is that she worries about me pretty much every night and that upset me so much. I want to be done with these health issues. I look at everyone else I know getting on with life and I am just stuck in this continuous loop. A year of counselling hasn't helped. I'm not too hopefully with the CBT I've just started either. The only other option I see is medication but does that mean I don't have the ability to conquer this on my own? Am I going to need to rely on medication for the rest of my life?

I'm so sick of this.

[cattia]

Try not to let your mum's comments upset you. All parents worry when their children are not happy, it's natural and it would be unusual if she didn't worry about you. Remember that anxiety is an illness and like most illnesses, what sometimes works best is medication to treat the symptoms and lifestyle changes to tackle the causes. Taking medication isn't for everyone but if it helps you get better you shouldn't feel like it's a failure. It does not have to be something you take for the rest of your life, you may find it helps you get in a better place to deal with your anxiety and then you will be able to taper it down.

[swgrl09]

Sometimes medication just gives you the improvement you need to be able to implement what you are learning in therapy. I needed it for that reason. I have done therapy for over 5 years on and off and it wasn't until I added lexapro that I felt better with my HA. It helped me keep functioning.

If you have diabetes and you take insulin for life, what's wrong with that? If you have to be on meds for life it's ok, but you also might not have to be. Either way if you start them and don't like them,you can always stop. You aren't locked in for life.

[pulisa]

I think you need to do what it takes to challenge your HA. Therapy alone isn't helping so why not try meds to complement the therapy and see if the body monitoring can be lessened with a combination of treatment? You're fed up with how you are feeling/thinking-meds could just help you move towards a better quality of life and it doesn't mean that you would have to stay on the meds forever.

[Fishmanpa]

I do understand how many have an aversion to meds. I don't care for them either. I agree with swgrl and pulisa. In the big picture, is it any different than meds taken for physical illnesses? I have a handful of meds I "need" to take every morning and evening for my well being and actual survival. Not taking these meds put me at risk physically.

When I was faced with battling depression after my first heart attack, I was prescribed Zoloft along with therapy. I was on 100mg for 6 months. While I didn't care for it, it truly did help me and allowed the therapy to have full and lasting effects. Then, after the 2nd heart attack and cancer, I again was prescribed a med (Buspar) and did some therapy. I had the advantage of experience and knew I needed some help and again, the meds helped in allowing me to focus on the tasks at hand in battling back.

Some, like myself, only used and needed the meds as a crutch for a while. Some need meds for life. And again, is it really any different than meds for a physical issue? I have chronic physical issues that require meds for life. Some have chronic mental issues that "may" require that but for the sake of quality of life or to be used in conjunction with therapy, isn't it worth serious consideration?

Otherwise, what's the alternative? You can argue about this or that but in the big picture, even if it doesn't work, don't you think that the risk of a few rough weeks is worth the long term goal of a better quality of life? The worst that can happen is you had a rough few weeks and it didn't work but you'll never know unless you try.

Just like meds for physical ailments cause side effects, psych meds do too. And just like there are several meds for the same physical ailment (I just had a change in my statin med due to side effects), there are many psych meds that can help.

So long story short? What do you have to lose?

Positive thoughts

[Pamplemousse]

I agree with Fishmanpa regarding the tablets.

Some might see it as a sign of weakness; well, they're wrong. I take three tablets to keep the blood moving around my body, control my diabetes... and I take one to stop me spiralling into a mental hole I won't get out of. Even I, for a while, thought it meant that I was somehow inferior, that I couldn't control my own thoughts and behaviour. Then I thought some more about it... and if that one tablet means I can at least get out of bed, run my business and go to work when needed, so be it. It's not a failing, it's not a weakness, it just means something needs a little help.

The other thing I would say is: be happy your Mum cares for you so much. I know people who have mothers that absolutely hate them (and they hate them equally in return); one has tried her very best to ruin her son's life in court :ohmy:

[KayeS]

Thanks for the replies guys.

I think I will be speaking to my GP very seriously about medication in the next few weeks for sure. I mean I actually brought it up with her a month or so ago but she wanted me to try CBT first even though I'd had a year of counselling already. I just need this anxiety to stop. I feel a shadow of how I was 2 years ago.

[pulisa]

It's really good that your Mum truly cares and is immensely supportive of you. Don't feel bad about her worrying-it's just proof of how much your health means to her. Mums worry all the time but when it's about really important things you know you have a Mum to be treasured. I know you'll try all you can to get to grips with HA and I really hope 2016 brings you a much improved quality of life.

[KayeS]

Oh believe me, I think my Mum is one of the most amazing people I know. She actually had a genuine awful illness 20 years ago when I was about 10 that nearly killed her and has since then had so many REAL health issues that she's had to get through. To hear her say something like that though, and to know that I cause her worry because I worry about 'imaginary' health problems... it just puts it all in perspective, but at the same time, although something like that should completely snap me out of it, my health anxiety still remains.

[pulisa]

Oh believe me, I think my Mum is one of the most amazing people I know. She actually had a genuine awful illness 20 years ago when I was about 10 that nearly killed her and has since then had so many REAL health issues that she's had to get through. To hear her say something like that though, and to know that I cause her worry because I worry about 'imaginary' health problems... it just puts it all in perspective, but at the same time, although something like that should completely snap me out of it, my health anxiety still remains.

Do you reckon your HA stems from your Mum's worrying health issues? At 10 you would have been very susceptible to fears which may not have come out until now?

[Pamplemousse]

[...] sometimes I feel like there is a stigma surrounding medication for mental illness but that usually comes from people who believe that we can all just snap out of it.
Amen to that.


[...] although something like that should completely snap me out of it, my health anxiety still remains.
Why? You have an illness; it's called Health Anxiety. Why do you think you should be able to 'snap out of it' any more than you could 'snap out' of a broken arm? Use that knowledge and the support your Mum would no doubt give you to use against the anxiety, and help you rationalise the thoughts that are controlling you at the moment. Use that knowledge, and the medical support you can get in your arsenal to help you beat this :)

[KayeS]

Do you reckon your HA stems from your Mum's worrying health issues? At 10 you would have been very susceptible to fears which may not have come out until now?

Honestly, I don't think so. I spoke about this in counselling and although the counsellor seemed to think there might be a connection, I just really don't.

I remember having health worries before my mum got ill. Nothing like this but even at like age 8 I was more of a hypochondriac than any other kid lol.

My mums illness was quite rare, and on top of that she had a particularly bad case of it. I don't want to mention what it is on here just incase it triggers others to worry, but ironically I've never worried about getting that particular illness :/

[Shazamataz]

I agree with some of the comments above. If the anxiety is out of control then therapy can be wasted as you aren't even in a place to focus on it and gain the benefits.

I hate taking meds for anxiety and am currently in the process of dealing with the side effects of starting back up, but I have realised I can't function without meds, just like with any other illness.

Maybe give meds a try, they could really change your life :)

[Masonn]

I know how you feel. I have some other mental illnesses which I know hurts my mum greatly, my psychologist told me she balled her eyes out when he spoke to her. I really lighten up the extent of my HA to her because I don't want her to know how much it's been effecting me. My mother and I aren't really that close, but I know she still loves me and worries for me very much.

I'm the same with medication, I've heavily considered it, but considering my age, my mother would have to know if I go on them (17 yo) and I know it would make her feel worse knowing I'm 'bad enough' to need medication. However, I don't think you should think they make you any weaker. You're strong enough just living with this terrible paranoia, and there's no shame in taking medication. Completely up to you though. Good luck :)