olden
02-01-16, 17:02
Hey everyone.
I was kind of reluctant registering here, as I know I am kind of "feeding" my symptoms by googling and reading on forums, but I am hoping for some reassuring words. I just want to mention that I have struggled with on and off anxiety for 10-15 years, and I worry a lot.
Everything started about 1 year ago, when I started noticing visual snow after a really stressful time (school, moving, anxiety). I sort of think I've always had it, I've just not paid attention to it. I also noticed a floater in my left eye (which I had seen for the first time in 2012 after 4 weeks of several panic attacks, but then I guess my brain tuned it out). I started noticing that I could sort of see the outline of buildings and trees above them (if you know what I mean, hard to explain). I went to see a doctor about my visual snow, and I also had an optometrist check my vision. Everything seemed fine, and my doctor didn't seem to think any further testing was necessary (have not done any MRI). I started relaxing a bit more, and didn't really notice the VS anymore. Then I had a very stressful few weeks with exams, and I noticed a huuuge floater in my right eye. I finished my exams, and I locked myself in my basement for a week. I could still see the VS, but it was the floater that was freaking me out. I felt like my life was over.
Anyway, I got out and actually ended up having a great summer. I still noticed the VS and floaters from time to time, but I didn't let it worry me. I did have some anxiety towards fall though, because I was worried my vision would somehow make studying harder. So Sep-Dec I basically ignored my school work because of anxiety, but got my act together the last 3-4 weeks, and I managed to pass all my exams. Another symptom that emerged during fall was starbursts and the halos I've always seen were now really big. I think the halo starbursts are drug induced though. I don't believe my VS have gotten worse. Staying away from drugs altogether now. Had my vision checked after the drug induced starburst, my eyes look fine but the optometrist said my pupils didn't dilate as much as usual in the dark (so I might have to go check that out).
Anyway, during these exams at school I found out that I was pregnant. This put a HUGE stress on me, and for some reason I started stressing so much more over my eye sight. I am now noticing after images and started worrying a LOT about my visual snow. The floaters don't bother me anymore. It's the visual snow, after images and halo starbursts. I don't think my after images are any different from what they are before, but I am now looking for them, when before I wasn't even thinking about it. I am having an abortion soon, which is also stressful.
I notice that when I'm out with friends, that I for a few seconds or minutes don't think about my symptoms and as a result don't notice them. But lately it's been at the back of my mind all the time, and I don't want to go out and do stuff. I feel anxious and depressed, and I am REALLY dreading going back to school. So scared I won't make it, I don't want my anxiety to stop me from becoming something.
So, what I'm wondering here is what I should do next? Is there anyone here with similar symptoms, who have gotten better when the anxiety has gotten better? I don't worry that there is anything seriously wrong with me. My initial worry was MS a year ago, but I don't worry about that now. I need to get some control over my anxiety, and I really hope that I one day will stop noticing my VS, after images and floaters. I understand I need to get on with life, but it's just hard :weep: I have just been so hyper aware, sometimes I think I see a shadow, and then it's just a bird flying past me.
So sorry this got pretty long. Hope someone will read. I just want to feel happy again, and not care about these symptoms :weep:
I was kind of reluctant registering here, as I know I am kind of "feeding" my symptoms by googling and reading on forums, but I am hoping for some reassuring words. I just want to mention that I have struggled with on and off anxiety for 10-15 years, and I worry a lot.
Everything started about 1 year ago, when I started noticing visual snow after a really stressful time (school, moving, anxiety). I sort of think I've always had it, I've just not paid attention to it. I also noticed a floater in my left eye (which I had seen for the first time in 2012 after 4 weeks of several panic attacks, but then I guess my brain tuned it out). I started noticing that I could sort of see the outline of buildings and trees above them (if you know what I mean, hard to explain). I went to see a doctor about my visual snow, and I also had an optometrist check my vision. Everything seemed fine, and my doctor didn't seem to think any further testing was necessary (have not done any MRI). I started relaxing a bit more, and didn't really notice the VS anymore. Then I had a very stressful few weeks with exams, and I noticed a huuuge floater in my right eye. I finished my exams, and I locked myself in my basement for a week. I could still see the VS, but it was the floater that was freaking me out. I felt like my life was over.
Anyway, I got out and actually ended up having a great summer. I still noticed the VS and floaters from time to time, but I didn't let it worry me. I did have some anxiety towards fall though, because I was worried my vision would somehow make studying harder. So Sep-Dec I basically ignored my school work because of anxiety, but got my act together the last 3-4 weeks, and I managed to pass all my exams. Another symptom that emerged during fall was starbursts and the halos I've always seen were now really big. I think the halo starbursts are drug induced though. I don't believe my VS have gotten worse. Staying away from drugs altogether now. Had my vision checked after the drug induced starburst, my eyes look fine but the optometrist said my pupils didn't dilate as much as usual in the dark (so I might have to go check that out).
Anyway, during these exams at school I found out that I was pregnant. This put a HUGE stress on me, and for some reason I started stressing so much more over my eye sight. I am now noticing after images and started worrying a LOT about my visual snow. The floaters don't bother me anymore. It's the visual snow, after images and halo starbursts. I don't think my after images are any different from what they are before, but I am now looking for them, when before I wasn't even thinking about it. I am having an abortion soon, which is also stressful.
I notice that when I'm out with friends, that I for a few seconds or minutes don't think about my symptoms and as a result don't notice them. But lately it's been at the back of my mind all the time, and I don't want to go out and do stuff. I feel anxious and depressed, and I am REALLY dreading going back to school. So scared I won't make it, I don't want my anxiety to stop me from becoming something.
So, what I'm wondering here is what I should do next? Is there anyone here with similar symptoms, who have gotten better when the anxiety has gotten better? I don't worry that there is anything seriously wrong with me. My initial worry was MS a year ago, but I don't worry about that now. I need to get some control over my anxiety, and I really hope that I one day will stop noticing my VS, after images and floaters. I understand I need to get on with life, but it's just hard :weep: I have just been so hyper aware, sometimes I think I see a shadow, and then it's just a bird flying past me.
So sorry this got pretty long. Hope someone will read. I just want to feel happy again, and not care about these symptoms :weep: