asus15
03-01-16, 10:16
Bare with me im typing this during s anxiety attack
I started therapy about 2? months ago and since opening up about my big problem (seeing a dead body when i wa 8) I've gone down hill so much. I used to wake up every morning as a kid at 5am scared of health stuff and overall anxiety. I've not had this issue for years (unless i have a symptom).
Now it's like im going back to being a child again scared constantly. future telling illness (which makes me believe it is happening in the end, like now), images in my head including images of the time i saw the body and the run up to that point (my gramp being ill, drips, him being sick... etc), thinking about me dead or dying and in a coffin or stuff like that or what will happen to my body after... being SO frightened of death and not be able to accept it will happen instead i freak out becuase yes.. it will happen. even typing that then made me panic.
What is happening to me? Am i making matter worse? I think all these years i've done a good job of distracting myself and making it go away but now i've opened up I've opened it all back up again. I really need advice and help I can't really deal with this much longer. I've illegally purchased diazepam as a way to cope, i know this is stupid and not the answer but im so desperate and i have zero help apart from my therapist, 1 hour a week which doesn't help me right now.
My therapist did ask if i felt i was ready for therapy and if i wanted to continue.. i said yes becuase what are the other options? continue to suffer?
I'm so exhausted I've had severe anxiety non-stop since boxing day, I'm hardly eating, this shows no signs of ending. I also have zero coping mech's now as I usually distract with a tv show but this is actually not working much anymore just like it didn't when i was younger.
post any online resources which help (i find interaction helps.. chat, email, stuff like that especially if it involves a therapist or professional, althoguh this is rare, i know..)
Scared, need help, please help me, PM me, message here... anything.. I've never really asked this before but I need support please!!
I started therapy about 2? months ago and since opening up about my big problem (seeing a dead body when i wa 8) I've gone down hill so much. I used to wake up every morning as a kid at 5am scared of health stuff and overall anxiety. I've not had this issue for years (unless i have a symptom).
Now it's like im going back to being a child again scared constantly. future telling illness (which makes me believe it is happening in the end, like now), images in my head including images of the time i saw the body and the run up to that point (my gramp being ill, drips, him being sick... etc), thinking about me dead or dying and in a coffin or stuff like that or what will happen to my body after... being SO frightened of death and not be able to accept it will happen instead i freak out becuase yes.. it will happen. even typing that then made me panic.
What is happening to me? Am i making matter worse? I think all these years i've done a good job of distracting myself and making it go away but now i've opened up I've opened it all back up again. I really need advice and help I can't really deal with this much longer. I've illegally purchased diazepam as a way to cope, i know this is stupid and not the answer but im so desperate and i have zero help apart from my therapist, 1 hour a week which doesn't help me right now.
My therapist did ask if i felt i was ready for therapy and if i wanted to continue.. i said yes becuase what are the other options? continue to suffer?
I'm so exhausted I've had severe anxiety non-stop since boxing day, I'm hardly eating, this shows no signs of ending. I also have zero coping mech's now as I usually distract with a tv show but this is actually not working much anymore just like it didn't when i was younger.
post any online resources which help (i find interaction helps.. chat, email, stuff like that especially if it involves a therapist or professional, althoguh this is rare, i know..)
Scared, need help, please help me, PM me, message here... anything.. I've never really asked this before but I need support please!!