Anyone else only have friends online?

[SpongeBobFan]

Not that I'm complaining about having online friends, because the friends I speak to online are great, but I'm curious about if anyone else here only has friends that they speak to online?

My social anxiety has prevented me from feeling confident when talking to people, and the friends I had back in high school, I've lost contact with most (though I occasionally message one or two on Facebook.) Mostly now the people I've considered friends are those I've met on forums or other social media

[MyNameIsTerry]

Yep, a few on here and that's it. I lost all my mates to anxiety over the years. Not their fault though, mine is avoidance of anything that could make it worse. You get to a point though where you stop caring about losing them, time heals & all that.

[emily67]

Not that I'm complaining about having online friends, because the friends I speak to online are great, but I'm curious about if anyone else here only has friends that they speak to online?

My social anxiety has prevented me from feeling confident when talking to people, and the friends I had back in high school, I've lost contact with most (though I occasionally message one or two on Facebook.) Mostly now the people I've considered friends are those I've met on forums or other social media



yes, me, it's been that way for me all the time.

even growing up the idea of being around people scared me and i never socialised or talked to anyone

plus i'm agoraphobic, so i can't get out to events and meet people either.
i do think of the people i know online as the family i never had, and i don't think their's anything wrong with that.

what's sad is that i'm happy and content with not knowing anyone offline, what's even sadder is that if i didn't have anxiety, i'd still not know where to start

i hardly know too much about the world in which we live... what a sad state of afairs

[AdamE]

Same here. I have a few work friends but only hang out at work. Never outside of work. I've had such bad social anxiety I lost most all my friends locally. I love when some of my family members tell me I need to get out and socialize or "you're a great guy, you can find a gf". They clearly don't know how hard that truly is. I'd love to be able to hang out... WITHOUT NAUSEA. So for the past 12 years I was able to go on some video chats at least to keep me somewhat social. It's easy when you feel anxiety to hit the red X and everyone disappears. Can't do that in a local setting. I have met some amazing people though who I'll be friends with for a long time.

[jimsmrs]

Yes, me too, the only living breathing things I come into contact with are the staff at the local shop, my dog, dog walkers and my husband, my comfort zone.

I made a major breakthrough this morning though, after what seems like years and a ton of excuses not to, I made the decision to join a 45 minute fitness class for the over 50s at a gym in the next village. I felt sick with anxiety, at thought of the drive there, not knowing that area well and the parking etc and anxious because I'm English and a Scouser. But it was the best decision I've made!!! It was brilliant !!! I was made to feel so welcome by the others and got chatting to a few of them and found a lot of them there had been struggling with depression, anxiety and boredom, just like me.

I'm usually the type of person of gets into a social situation, then says ' oh I need the toilet' then I would leg it!!!!! But no I stayed. Even though the instructor was a bit late, it didn't bother me, no jittery tummy and afterwards I felt great, tired but great!! It was nice to hear people say to me 'bye see you next week' and 'are you coming again?'

After all the excuses not to do it, I finally came to the realisation this morning the are good reasons to do it.

And yes I will be going back.

[Magic]

Yes, all my friends on here.
I have my husband and my daughter, relations.
Friends on here :)
I have a social phobia, that's why I have no friends.
I am a loner really, it's my own fault.

[MissyMischief]

I have some high school friends spread out over the country that I talk to on facebook. I had a few work friends over the years, but they either moved away or I've lost touch being out of work these last 6 months. Right now, my social circle includes my parents, brother, boyfriend, two dogs, people on this forum, and my counselor who I see once a week.

Glad I'm not the only one. I still feel lonely to be honest. I miss going out to lunches with friends and talking and laughing....sigh....I really want to have that back.

[dakotasmom]

I've managed to make a few friends going to college but we don't hang out after class or anything, just chat during class and after. I lost all contact with my high school friends after moving to a different state. All my good friends are online though and that's the way I like it. Once in a while I do feel lonely but I'm blessed to have been able to make such good friends in a way that is comfortable for me :)

[Murphy]

I'm the same.Because of my agoraphobia and anxiety related issues etc,i haven't had any real friends since i left school.

The loneliness and isolation can be agonizing.

[Sam Winter]

yep i only have online friends too,
i used to make loads of mini friendships with the foreigners as a child in the summer, i don't know why it all changed but i've never had a true friendship since i was like 10 x

[debs71]

I only have one friend who I have not seen for 7 years, who lives in Wales, but we communicate a lot on FB messaging. She also suffers from anxiety issues so we 'get' each other well. I feel guilty for having not seen her in so long, but in a way I am also comfortable that way. I know that sounds awful, but I am such a loner and always have been.

I lost a friendship last year. I was friends with a woman who lives in Gran Canaria, who I had known for 16 years, but I now realise it was never a true friendship. She is much more confident and overbearing than me, and always 'ran' the whole friendship. I go out there twice a year - my boyfriend is Canarian/Spanish and lives there - and everything we did and where we went was always her choices. At times she would be a great friend - funny, good for advice, helpful, etc - but the one things she would never support me with was my mental health problems. If I was having a bad day - be it here or while on holiday, she would basically run in the other direction or change the subject and not want to know. I overlooked it as I valued the good parts of her friendship, but last year she started a row with me about some utter nonsensical thing, and when I stood my ground, she told me I was 'too complicated for her anyway'.....that was it for me, but I held my tongue in the hope things would resolve.

The next day, she had blocked me on all forms of communication - Whatsapp, FB, etc.

I did likewise.

I think friendships are hard for anyone sometimes. It is not easy finding others who you have a true synchronicity with and a real two-way street connection with, and I do think it is even harder when one of you suffers from a mental health condition.

You get to learn who is really a friend, and who is not.

I have never really needed friends, if I am honest. I am a solitary person, and always have been, even before my mental issues. I always felt a bit strange because of that, and my family have commented on it too. That I spend too much time at home, and don't want to go out and socialise and meet people. i don't know why, but as I get older, I also feel that life is too short for what i would call 'fairweather friendships'.

I have lost friends before this particular friend too, again due to an inbalance in our friendship - me always kowtowing because of my confidence issues and shyness, and them always being more domineering, and the friendship always being one-sided. This has been a pattern in my friendships, and one I am trying to break as I get older.

I much prefer the connections that i have online, connections like the ones on NMP, with kindred spirits who can relate in the most important and relevant ways. xxx

[Magic]

I still stay friends with members who have left or been banned from NMP.
I have never met them but stay in touch via email.
I did have a go on Face Book too . but I need some one to show be how to use it:shrug:.
I know lots of people on there. but like you debs I am a bit of a loner I guess.

[MargaretHale]

Yep, because of anxiety/agoraphobia but also because my best friend stuffed me over a few yrs ago and now I keep people at arms length.

I used to have so many pals and now I just speak to folks online. I miss having a good friend to confide it. :(

[DragonPanda]

I *kind of* do.

I live with my boyfriend (he's my best friend, hence the *kind of*) and my parents, so they're the only people I socialise with on a day-to-day (or even weekly-monthly) basis.

I lost all of my friends a few years ago when I became house-bound due to the agoraphobia. I don't really blame them. I've been getting out more since then, but I've become trapped in my comfort zone.

I've had online friends, but I almost always lose them too because they'd like to meet up and I constantly feel like I have to make excuses to avoid meeting up with them. It makes me feel terrible. Not only do I fail at keeping friends IRL, but I fail at keeping online friends too :shrug:

I'd love to have more online friends, though. Sometimes I feel I can communicate (and express myself) better through typing - if you know what I mean.

[Darren69]

I can relate to everything, I cannot work as I have colitis disease so I'm at home all the time, plus I suffer from agoraphobic, my wife works full time, at least I've got my grandson allot to keep me company but some days I wish I could go out for walks but just get panicky thinking about it.

[ben johnson]

all the people I talk to is on here other than that I hardly talk to my family and I haven't got no friends where I live :(

[randomforeigner]

I've had a couple of internet pen pals in the UK, both dropped me some years ago - one day there was just silence and I never knew what happened, and I'm a little bit sensitive to people just disappearing out into the blue. Now recently I learned that one actually died just recently (I happened to see a post on a Facebook memorial page). (Just a few years over 60.) It annoys me somewhat that I'm bothered about it, because it should be nothing, really. I will never know what happened. Besides I have this crazy notion they knew each other or knew someone in common, rather. But as the old Swedish saying goes (?) "Larger pine trees than this have fallen on top of a small tuft", so I'd better not think about it, better being safe than sorry.

[DarkKnightKodiak]

I've had a lot of experience with finding people online vs finding people in real life. I will say that the online community is a lot more accepting. I think online friends are easier to find because online we can show our true emotions without being judged.

I definitely feel your pain. I've had to work hard to force myself to interact with the people in my real life. I will say, this hard work has been worth the effort.

[susie]

i have my husband who is my rock and my son who still lives at home .i meet people in the morning while walking my dog but i have no friends i cant go out alone so miss out on alot .what does hurt is i have known a few women who know i cant go out alone but when i ask then around for a coffee they always have things to do

[Magic]

I know what you mean Susie. Same here. My daughter does not live locally.
My husband's a good man, but I would like a female friend to chat to and have a coffee with sometime.
I have a few nieces but they are always busy:hugs:

[susie]

morning magic feel free for a chat anytime just pm me:)

[randomforeigner]

yep i only have online friends too,
i used to make loads of mini friendships with the foreigners as a child in the summer, i don't know why it all changed but i've never had a true friendship since i was like 10 x
Maybe you haven't met enough foreigners since then? :winks: