vow ocd

[Audi]

I know this may sounds funny or strange but i am currently struggle with this issue.


10 years ago. I was a car lover and not into watches...i once swear before i will never buy or wear any watches until i have my own credit card as i afraid that i may neglect my car hobby. The reason i made this vow is because i know i will not able to get a credit card in a short period as i have some bad records with the bank. And also at that time i was struggling between car and watch hobby so i made this vow as i still prefer car more than watch that time.. i dont know whether i was at the right state of mind (anxiety) when making this vow . After making the vow i feel better.


10 years later which is now. I am married with kids.... i find that car hobby is totally a waste of money....i slowly i switch to luxury watch hobby as i found out that watch value dont depreciate as much as car and some watch might even increased in its value in times..

The worst thing happen just now when i was shopping with my wife and happen to pass by some credit card booth... an intrusive thought comes in and remind me of the swear and vow i made 10years ago that i can only buy or wear a watch when i have own credit card...the thought is telling me that i have to obey to the vow i had made ..... as i till now still do not own any cards due to the previous bad credit record.... but due to my hardwork i manage to earn big buck compare to the past.


Now the thought keep telling me that i have to keep to my vow and only can buy watch when i have my own credit card one day.... now i feel stress as i dont want to give up my watch hobby ....watch give me confident and its a very good alternative way to save money... as i am the type of person which spend almost every single cent i had earn. I finally started saving money and had my own saving partly due to my watch hobby and my family commitment

I somehow also feel that Watch hobby may also help abit on my anxiety.... i found that my anxiety switched to my watch then other harm ocd and rocd issue.... although sometimes its still relaspe.



I know its a long story but i sincerly hope that someone could advise or to share if they have the same experienc. Thanks

[uru]

can't you get a credit card?

[Audi]

Cant due to previous bad credit record when i was young.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Hi Audi,

The way I see this, the credit card is irrelevant really because you have said you made a conscious decision based on financial priorities and now these have changed. Now you have your family too.

The issue lies in the intrusive thought and your reaction to it. It's been 10 years and you have changed your conscious thinking to regard the car hobby as wasteful and the watch hobby as positive because it makes you feel confident plus is a better investment for your future (and your family). In that 10 years you changed your personal vow to a new one and didn't let it bother you so you clearly have the strength & control over your own behaviour to continue doing so.

Sometimes we feel anxious, a though is triggered and we spiral like this. The key is not reacting to it, observe it and accept it as merely a thought. You don't have to accept the content or whether it actually means anything, it's just a thought.

You have come across as a man with a strong moral towards his family and you clearly love them so if something questions this in your mind, you react to it. This is how OCD works, it seeks out the things that will spike your anxiety the most. This is why learning not to allow it have the reaction it wants is one of the keys to breaking OCD because it will see it can't do it anymore and your subconscious will change those patterns so they stop re-occurring. Maybe part of you worries about being wasteful again as you want to provide for you family?

Tell yourself these positive reasons for the hobby that you enjoy and why this is better than the previous hobby. Tell yourself you have changed since then, you have matured, and that it is ok to want your new hobby. Focus on the positives of it.

[Audi]

hi, terry . thank you for the advise. i feel much better. but the issue now is that its is not just a thought ... its a fact that i had made a vow. whenever i look at my watch i think of the vow i had made and this is the stressful part . i did tried to convince myself by telling myself this " maybe i was not at a right state of mind while making this '' but it didnt really help much...

[MyNameIsTerry]

But the point is that this "vow" was made at a different point in your life when you have certain choices. Now your life has changed and so have your choices, you are a family man with more responsibility now.

Because something has triggered this old thought, it is currently raw. You have the choice now to either obsess over it and strengthen the worry or challenge these thoughts by telling yourself that you made a choice to "amend" that vow as it no longer matches your life circumstances. For a while there could be some anxiety because we can't change our thoughts so quickly once we are triggered, it needs work, repetition and time.

So, challenge the old vow and work on accepting your new one. Accept that what you have done is OK and that it is equally OK to go on doing so.