Bonnibelle
05-01-16, 12:12
My 11 year old son was bullied in 2015 in his last year of primary school. He's now in year 7 in high school, no bullying and he settled well. He had anxiety and panic attacks soon after the bullying began. I took him to see our gp who referred him to camhs (children's mental health team ) and they refused to see him. I carried on trying to help him myself but he still refused to even play outside his house with friends., always wanted to stay in and became very introvert. He's only 11 so I thought it's OK I wouldn't let him venture far anyway.
Starting high school he was nervous but he did amazing. The class he was put in wasn't ideal as it had the main bully in and none of his old class friends but he himself made 2 new friends and was happy ish. Then in October he started having very low mood and anxiety. I sensed something was wrong and wham he told me he had suicidal thoughts all year but didn't want to worry me. My world from that day fell apart. I took him back to my gp and he talked to my son. He said he isn't making plans they seem more intrusive as he's scared of them. Referred him to camhs again. They assessed him and said he has very low self esteem, low mood, anxiety and panic attacks and said they weren't able to help and I'd be the best person as I'd had anxiety in the past.
Things deteriorated from there. He had panic after panic. I'd have to leave my son in school begging me to take him home. I'd come home and just sob and that's when my panic and anxiety returned. After a month of seeing my son distressed and battling with camhs for them to change their minds I became ill. I suddenly couldn't walk around the ground beneath me moved and I felt dizzy. It was horrible. My gp diagnosed with witness severe stress and said what I'd been through was way too much for a person without anxiety never mind someone with. My daughter had also been rushed into hospital for 2 nights swith suspected appendicitis that week.
We got our son back to camhs and my husband demanded help with a back up letter form our gp and school. Our gp was disgusted with the treatment we had from camhs. Camhs agreed they'd made a mistake and agreed to put him on the waiting list. He is now right at the bottom having wasted a month.
My son had the week before Christmas off school due to a virus in the house. He was also exhausted and needed a rest. He was having daily panic attacks at school..school were fantastic and gave him a pass to get out of class without having to explain why, a room to go to and and support teacher that would be there for him. He's been amazing and really helped our son. He was using his pass 6 times a day but it recently was down to 4 a week.
He opened up to me over the holidays and told me this old bully had been messaging him calling him a sciver and he makes fun of my son everytime he has to use his pass during a panic attack to leave class. I had no idea this bully had started his old ways again. Now this bully has physically hurt my son in the past. My son had an emergency op 4 years ago due to a twist in his private area. This bully somehow found out about this and when my son returned to school he on purpose kicked my son down below. That's how physical it got. So this bully has taunted my son for years. He is now doing it again and it's no wonder my son feels anxious about school. I told him we would have him moved tutor group. He wasn't happy in his class due to having no friends in it and this bully being in the class.
He returned to school today and it was ok, he got up and was upbeat and said to me he was excited for a fresh start. It was amazing and reassuring to see. I could see he was anxious but I prayed today was a new start. Well by 9.30 I had the school calling me to pick him up. I refused and said they had to work with me to encourage him to sit through his panic attacks and stay in school because I cannot keep picking him up. He is taller than me and I can't physically make him go to school either. I asked about him changing class and told them all about this bully and they said they will look into it and will maybe address it again at the end of the week. Which just isn't good enough as my son is in pieces today. I have had 4 phone calls from school and text after text from my son begging me to bring him home. It's destroying me yet again:weep:
In desperation I called CAMHS and it wasn't the lady that assessed him thankfully, it was infact the therapist he might see and she was lovely. She said school are not supporting me and are doing wrong trying to persuade me to pick him up. She agreed the lady that assessed him initially was out of order and I should not have been left to cope with this for so long, she said 'it's no wonder you are feeling ill with stress, you can't be left every day dealing with this'. She is going to call school and explain to them what they must do to support me and my son and she is going to tell them they must move our son out of the tutor group with the bully and into the one with all his old school friends as right now he needs this. I just hope school listen.
I am in pieces. I can't go back to this daily stress. Over Christmas I relaxed, my vertigo went and I was much calmer. Now i feel ill again and I can't cope with this every single day again. I just want to see my son happy :weep: Seeing your child depressed, feeling suicidal, anxious, panic attacks and he comfort eats, then calls himself fat... it's soul destroying and as a family we are all struggling seeing him so distressed. I feel so sad. Why did this have to happen to my happy little boy :weep::weep: I am so scared at this rate he will end up agoraphobic. I don't know what to do every day until he can see CAMHS. I feel I have no support. I have 2 other children and I can't afford to be ill with stress again like I was before Christmas.
Sorry to post here, I didn't know where else to turn to :weep:
Starting high school he was nervous but he did amazing. The class he was put in wasn't ideal as it had the main bully in and none of his old class friends but he himself made 2 new friends and was happy ish. Then in October he started having very low mood and anxiety. I sensed something was wrong and wham he told me he had suicidal thoughts all year but didn't want to worry me. My world from that day fell apart. I took him back to my gp and he talked to my son. He said he isn't making plans they seem more intrusive as he's scared of them. Referred him to camhs again. They assessed him and said he has very low self esteem, low mood, anxiety and panic attacks and said they weren't able to help and I'd be the best person as I'd had anxiety in the past.
Things deteriorated from there. He had panic after panic. I'd have to leave my son in school begging me to take him home. I'd come home and just sob and that's when my panic and anxiety returned. After a month of seeing my son distressed and battling with camhs for them to change their minds I became ill. I suddenly couldn't walk around the ground beneath me moved and I felt dizzy. It was horrible. My gp diagnosed with witness severe stress and said what I'd been through was way too much for a person without anxiety never mind someone with. My daughter had also been rushed into hospital for 2 nights swith suspected appendicitis that week.
We got our son back to camhs and my husband demanded help with a back up letter form our gp and school. Our gp was disgusted with the treatment we had from camhs. Camhs agreed they'd made a mistake and agreed to put him on the waiting list. He is now right at the bottom having wasted a month.
My son had the week before Christmas off school due to a virus in the house. He was also exhausted and needed a rest. He was having daily panic attacks at school..school were fantastic and gave him a pass to get out of class without having to explain why, a room to go to and and support teacher that would be there for him. He's been amazing and really helped our son. He was using his pass 6 times a day but it recently was down to 4 a week.
He opened up to me over the holidays and told me this old bully had been messaging him calling him a sciver and he makes fun of my son everytime he has to use his pass during a panic attack to leave class. I had no idea this bully had started his old ways again. Now this bully has physically hurt my son in the past. My son had an emergency op 4 years ago due to a twist in his private area. This bully somehow found out about this and when my son returned to school he on purpose kicked my son down below. That's how physical it got. So this bully has taunted my son for years. He is now doing it again and it's no wonder my son feels anxious about school. I told him we would have him moved tutor group. He wasn't happy in his class due to having no friends in it and this bully being in the class.
He returned to school today and it was ok, he got up and was upbeat and said to me he was excited for a fresh start. It was amazing and reassuring to see. I could see he was anxious but I prayed today was a new start. Well by 9.30 I had the school calling me to pick him up. I refused and said they had to work with me to encourage him to sit through his panic attacks and stay in school because I cannot keep picking him up. He is taller than me and I can't physically make him go to school either. I asked about him changing class and told them all about this bully and they said they will look into it and will maybe address it again at the end of the week. Which just isn't good enough as my son is in pieces today. I have had 4 phone calls from school and text after text from my son begging me to bring him home. It's destroying me yet again:weep:
In desperation I called CAMHS and it wasn't the lady that assessed him thankfully, it was infact the therapist he might see and she was lovely. She said school are not supporting me and are doing wrong trying to persuade me to pick him up. She agreed the lady that assessed him initially was out of order and I should not have been left to cope with this for so long, she said 'it's no wonder you are feeling ill with stress, you can't be left every day dealing with this'. She is going to call school and explain to them what they must do to support me and my son and she is going to tell them they must move our son out of the tutor group with the bully and into the one with all his old school friends as right now he needs this. I just hope school listen.
I am in pieces. I can't go back to this daily stress. Over Christmas I relaxed, my vertigo went and I was much calmer. Now i feel ill again and I can't cope with this every single day again. I just want to see my son happy :weep: Seeing your child depressed, feeling suicidal, anxious, panic attacks and he comfort eats, then calls himself fat... it's soul destroying and as a family we are all struggling seeing him so distressed. I feel so sad. Why did this have to happen to my happy little boy :weep::weep: I am so scared at this rate he will end up agoraphobic. I don't know what to do every day until he can see CAMHS. I feel I have no support. I have 2 other children and I can't afford to be ill with stress again like I was before Christmas.
Sorry to post here, I didn't know where else to turn to :weep: