Mirageme
08-01-16, 03:23
Hello Everyone,
This is not easy for me to put into words, because it's hard to describe, but I often feel like I'm just staring out into the world, understanding the feelings of other people, their emotions, fully processing what is going to around me on a logical level i suppose, but finding it very hard to actually have any kind of response to it. If that made any sense.
It's like I'm looking at the world as if one would a movie, not participating in it much, i mean, i can tell people what i want and interact with them on a level of "fulfilment of needs" level, but not in a way that i can reciprocate their emotions (it feels sterile to people). So basically, i understand what they are feeling and i guess i technically know why they have emotions when they have them (i am able to emphasize), but not able to feel the same way in those same situations because i dont feel that way myself when those situations happen to me. For example, people can be making a joke and laughing about it right away and while i find it funny, i just dont have that same easy going quick response to it where i would just laugh and have a relaxed happy emotion about it. Typically i would cognitively process the joke maybe chuckle or something but overall have no outward response.
I'm not a cold or heartless person, i really like the idea of charity and giving to other people, kindness in the world, unity among all people and love. It's just that somehow the fact that i know that something is pleasant and should feel pleasant does not connect with my emotional state and actually feel that way. Most things actually feel like anxiety. I dont like labeling things because it immediately tends to become black or white, but my inner daily feeling is tension in the body, shallow breathing, and sensations of fear. I also tend to think and analyze a lot around this subject and why emotional responses just dont happen to me naturally and why i have such a hard time being with people.
Being around people always tends to get akward and irritating. People have told me before that i come off as being serious, so most of the time they communicate with me in a serious way back. But even if they do laugh or are light hearted, it still does not draw out any kind of matching response out of me. Or so i feel. I mostly just kind of smile back at them or look in a different direction and it makes me anxious, the awkwardness of it all. I feel i should technically be genuinely laughing back or keeping up with the conversation, but mostly I have little interest in small talk or if i do small talk, it comes off "too seriously".
So to sum up, i feel that my biggest issue is that i mentally recognize and know when something should feel a certain way and should elicit an emotional response out of me, but ends up feeling dull and anxious like instead. A lot of times i also end up staring into space. Not lost in thought either, just mentally exhausted.
If anyone feels the same way, or has any advice at all, I would love to hear from you. I really need advice and help on this.
Thank you !!! :hugs::hugs::hugs:
This is not easy for me to put into words, because it's hard to describe, but I often feel like I'm just staring out into the world, understanding the feelings of other people, their emotions, fully processing what is going to around me on a logical level i suppose, but finding it very hard to actually have any kind of response to it. If that made any sense.
It's like I'm looking at the world as if one would a movie, not participating in it much, i mean, i can tell people what i want and interact with them on a level of "fulfilment of needs" level, but not in a way that i can reciprocate their emotions (it feels sterile to people). So basically, i understand what they are feeling and i guess i technically know why they have emotions when they have them (i am able to emphasize), but not able to feel the same way in those same situations because i dont feel that way myself when those situations happen to me. For example, people can be making a joke and laughing about it right away and while i find it funny, i just dont have that same easy going quick response to it where i would just laugh and have a relaxed happy emotion about it. Typically i would cognitively process the joke maybe chuckle or something but overall have no outward response.
I'm not a cold or heartless person, i really like the idea of charity and giving to other people, kindness in the world, unity among all people and love. It's just that somehow the fact that i know that something is pleasant and should feel pleasant does not connect with my emotional state and actually feel that way. Most things actually feel like anxiety. I dont like labeling things because it immediately tends to become black or white, but my inner daily feeling is tension in the body, shallow breathing, and sensations of fear. I also tend to think and analyze a lot around this subject and why emotional responses just dont happen to me naturally and why i have such a hard time being with people.
Being around people always tends to get akward and irritating. People have told me before that i come off as being serious, so most of the time they communicate with me in a serious way back. But even if they do laugh or are light hearted, it still does not draw out any kind of matching response out of me. Or so i feel. I mostly just kind of smile back at them or look in a different direction and it makes me anxious, the awkwardness of it all. I feel i should technically be genuinely laughing back or keeping up with the conversation, but mostly I have little interest in small talk or if i do small talk, it comes off "too seriously".
So to sum up, i feel that my biggest issue is that i mentally recognize and know when something should feel a certain way and should elicit an emotional response out of me, but ends up feeling dull and anxious like instead. A lot of times i also end up staring into space. Not lost in thought either, just mentally exhausted.
If anyone feels the same way, or has any advice at all, I would love to hear from you. I really need advice and help on this.
Thank you !!! :hugs::hugs::hugs: