Seriously!!! Help needed

[andy2]

Hi thanks for taking the time to read this. For several weeks now my gad/ocd has been really bad and I feel I have just been In a black hole. I have been living this hell for the past 10 years with the normal good spells and bad. These past few spikes however have been brutal and my passion to fight it seems to be fading. I feel I have also developed a problem with alcohol Which I am fully aware is not a solution. This on its on has my anxiety spiralling but I know I have to work on that part. Thoughts of suicide are nothing new but they seem stuck in my head and are most likely caused by this feeling that nothing is ever going to get better.

I know everyone is going to jump on the alcohol thing but if there was any other advice then believe me, from the bottom of my heart I would be entirely greatful. Thank you

[rbm]

sorry for what you are going through...my bad time doesn't seem to stop either...my family and my work keep me going...i have gone through depression, a touch of ocd and lots of health anxiety for the past year and the hardest thing is waking up in the morning and find that thread of hope, the will to keep going.

i undestand your acohol issue , there are worse things than that.the mere fact that you assume the guilt over it clearly states you are willing to fight it.we all need an outlet but you yourself admit this is not it.i think you should gradualy decrease the intake and take it day by day.it sounds like a load of .... but there are better thing to live for.do you have a family or friends to support you ? getting started is the hardest, so get it over with ! channel you energy into something usefull, find that something usefull and you will find the strength to keep going.feel free to pm me if you need any help.hope you have an anxiety free day !

[debs71]

Hi andy2,

I am so sorry about your anxiety issues. 10 years is a hell of a time to be dealing with it and struggling.

First things first - is your anxiety/OCD actually being addressed and treated, by meds, therapy or both? Has it been in the past?

My impression is that the alcohol may be a crutch here for you to try to mask that overwhelming anxiety, so it is a case of REALLY tackling the underlying and spiralling anxiety in order to address the booze issue.

It is very common for anxiety/depression, etc. sufferers to reach for alcohol or any other means of escape, but the trouble is it often just ends up being another problem to deal with on top of the anxiety.

Can you talk to your GP about what is happening for you? You should not have to be dealing with anxiety that is going on and on at a peak. xx

[andy2]

Thank you guys for the replies and thank you for not jumping down my throat about the booze. I feel kind of liberated cause for the first time I have actually admitted to my self that no matter, regardless of the fact I on drink a hand full of beers a day, I am an alcoholic and I know that has to change. You are right when you say it is a means of escape cause I never crave alcohol. What I crave is the pain to stop but obviously I have created a different problem. I have two wonderful kids, one of which is going for a serious operation next week. I think this has kicked of my ocd with regards that I want to be a 100% focused on him( he has down syndrome), but I have been so aware that my mental health could be an issue that I have put to much pressure on my self and tried to escape from my self so much,, that I have ultimately made it worse. Go me!!!!. What a mess. I have always believed and actually don't think non suffers understand that it takes so much more courage to live in fear than it does to die in pain. I have been on meds for years also on diazepam for acute anxiety. Never been offered a crystal ball but that would be nice. Started wearing a head guard whilst going to thearipst cause banging my head off the brick wall was starting to hurt. I have to keep hoping that one day maybe I will be free. Until then!!!!!