Wackyal123
12-01-16, 17:29
Hi All,
New to the forum. So I'll give you a run down of my situation.
July 2014, my wife and I lost a baby (missed miscarriage) whilst we were buying a house and I was devastated. Not just at the loss, but at not being able to help my wife as she went through the horrific event physically. I took a week off work to try to deal with it, but frustratingly, the same week, I had to organize a mortgage as our initial offer had fallen through. A week or so later, I started getting pains in my lower right abdomen.
I ignored them initially as I thought I'd pulled a muscle. But over 5 weeks, the pains increased. I was, at this time, also on a very difficult project at work which required me to work weekends and some evenings. The pain spread across my lower abdomen and up the side a little and I began to worry that my appendix had burst. I headed to the doctors who said it was probably IBS. A week later, I was diagnosed with hypertension and had to take a week off work due to stress. The pains subsided until mid October when we moved house. Then they came back, but this time, I also had a strange taste in my mouth like bleach which would occur when I yawned or talked. No one could smell it but I sure could taste it.
Upon returning, I was offered counselling through work so took the opportunity. It was 8 weeks which took me through to December. Over the 8 weeks, I was told I had an unhealthy obsession with death due to countless nightmares about dying people including myself.
A couple of people had also commented on how I looked like I'd lost some weight. I'd kind of noticed it but ignored it and my diet hadn't changed.
Suddenly on the 8th December 2014, I woke up completely wiped of energy. I tried to go into work a couple of days that week, but I felt terribly tired. I also started having night sweats. I was peeing a lot and had a dry mouth, and had some breathing difficulty (couldn't catch my breath.. something I've suffered with from time to time). I got to the doctors and explained the tiredness and abdominal pain which had now spread across and up my abdomen. It did seem to relieve when I went to the loo, but it was quite aggravating. I'd also seen some blood in my stools. The doctor put me in for a blood test and asked me if I'd lost weight. I said I didn't know and so weighed myself. Over the next few days, I dropped 5lbs. I'd completely lost my appetite and was eating a piece of toast and banana a day.
I returned to the doctor who said my liver function was slightly elevated but that was all. The next few days saw a further 4-5lbs dropped. Back to the doctors and he told me that I needed another blood test. This time he wanted to test for Pancreatitis. I asked them to test for lymphoma too (a friend of mine had been treated for it so I was paranoid). The test returned and it was fine. Because of the weight loss, he then put me on the fast track for a colonoscopy. On the 19th, suddenly, I got flu symptoms. Severe headaches and totally bunged up.
Christmas was a nightmare. I felt horrible, barely ate, and could barely move. I brought everyone down and looked gaunt and sick. I was so worried I was going to die. The colonoscopy couldn't come soon enough. When I had the colonoscopy, the GI who did it, said it looked great and didn't need to take any samples. Then I found out it was an extended sigmoidoscopy. But tried not to worry, because of his comments being so positive. The night sweats stopped and that was a relief.
The follow up with the doctor went fine and he suggested an ultrasound to check the other organs (especially the liver). During the US procedure, the guy mentioned that my spleen looked enlarged like I'd had an infection. He said everything else looked fine. But the followup showed he'd not written that on my report and instead said my pancreas was "shadowed" by stomach gas so was obscured. I panicked that I'd got a problem with my pancreas. The doctor assured me I was fine. A follow up appointment in Feb showed that my weight had stabilised and I was on the up.
Spring came and I saw a specialist due to the stomach cramping I was now having. He put me in for a CT scan and I begged for an endoscopy as I was born with Oesophageal atresia and felt it needed checking. He didn't think it was worth it, but after begging some more, he agreed. I had both in April and the CT scan showed an oesophageal pouch (I was aware of that anyway) but the Endoscopy showed chronic gastritis (negative-hPylori) so probably due to stress. The doctor asked for a barium swallow to check my throat out.
As the summer came, I gained my weight back on my body and felt pretty good. The occasional abdominal twinge but pretty good. In September, i had the barium swallow and motility looked good. I did notice some chest pain and under my arms but no swollen glands so I didn't pursue it and the pain went away. No problems. So I was happy...
Until October 2015.
On the 10th Oct, I went to a mates house to play guitar and ended up bruising under my right nipple. It left a big lump and I panicked. I went to see a doctor who said I'd probably pulled some muscles and said it was referred pain from posture. She also checked a mole and some itchy skin on the inside of my fingers which she said was probably eczema through stress. The mole was fine. But I wasn't. I was panicking about lumps on my chest again...
The next 2 months I noticed I'd lost some weight again. Trousers were a bit baggier as were tshirts. And my muscles in my chest, arms and legs felt smaller. I could also feel my bones really clearly, at least I was noticing them more. My face looked slimmer again, and I was panicking about it. Then the abdominal pain returned. Same as before. Everything was happening again. I went back to the doctors in December and had another blood test. Liver was more elevated than before (the doctor said my liver was going crazy, and when I panicked she retracted her comment.. saying it was just a little more active.) Also, I was producing slightly more red blood cells, but not by much at all. I was a wreck. I was also peeing a LOT and suffering breathing difficulty again. I was drinking more to try to keep hydrated but this lasted 3-5 weeks!
I went back to the doctors a couple more times over Christmas. Once to check a lump on my back which I thought was a mole, but the doctor said was a skin overgrowth and not to worry. December 19th, nearly exactly a year after I got flu symptoms again. They came and went a few times over the next 2-3 weeks but I'd pretty much spent 3 weeks on the sofa. I also then began to get neck ache, primarily on the right, but also the left a little. My glands were up and I began worrying I had lymphoma again. I had yet another blood test after seeing yet another doctor who wanted to test for Hepatitis and Glandular fever.
Well, I received the results yesterday and no hep and no glandular fever... HOWEVER, there was evidence that I'd had glandular fever. I'm betting the previous year.
Innocently (and perhaps stupidly) I thought I'd be proactive and look for ways to not get sick... only to find that glandular fever, in some cases, can lead to a form of lymphoma. SO of course, I'm now worried because of the neck pain, peeing, headaches, etc... I have another doctors appointment next week and I'm going to flat out ask him if It's likely, and also, tell him about the muscle/weight loss, and get them to check my chest and abdomen.
It seems like it's been a year of hell. I'm so anxious all the time, I have terrible behaviours like checking myself in the mirror, feeling my face, and body. I feel exhausted.
Any suggestions? Anyone else had anything similar? I don't know what to do. I'm trying CBT but it's online and not really helping. Mindfulness also seems to calm me a little, but I'm so scared about the weightloss. I don't know if it's something serious, or if It's simply anxiety/stress, since I'm still eating food normally.
Anyway, sorry for the rant.
Al
New to the forum. So I'll give you a run down of my situation.
July 2014, my wife and I lost a baby (missed miscarriage) whilst we were buying a house and I was devastated. Not just at the loss, but at not being able to help my wife as she went through the horrific event physically. I took a week off work to try to deal with it, but frustratingly, the same week, I had to organize a mortgage as our initial offer had fallen through. A week or so later, I started getting pains in my lower right abdomen.
I ignored them initially as I thought I'd pulled a muscle. But over 5 weeks, the pains increased. I was, at this time, also on a very difficult project at work which required me to work weekends and some evenings. The pain spread across my lower abdomen and up the side a little and I began to worry that my appendix had burst. I headed to the doctors who said it was probably IBS. A week later, I was diagnosed with hypertension and had to take a week off work due to stress. The pains subsided until mid October when we moved house. Then they came back, but this time, I also had a strange taste in my mouth like bleach which would occur when I yawned or talked. No one could smell it but I sure could taste it.
Upon returning, I was offered counselling through work so took the opportunity. It was 8 weeks which took me through to December. Over the 8 weeks, I was told I had an unhealthy obsession with death due to countless nightmares about dying people including myself.
A couple of people had also commented on how I looked like I'd lost some weight. I'd kind of noticed it but ignored it and my diet hadn't changed.
Suddenly on the 8th December 2014, I woke up completely wiped of energy. I tried to go into work a couple of days that week, but I felt terribly tired. I also started having night sweats. I was peeing a lot and had a dry mouth, and had some breathing difficulty (couldn't catch my breath.. something I've suffered with from time to time). I got to the doctors and explained the tiredness and abdominal pain which had now spread across and up my abdomen. It did seem to relieve when I went to the loo, but it was quite aggravating. I'd also seen some blood in my stools. The doctor put me in for a blood test and asked me if I'd lost weight. I said I didn't know and so weighed myself. Over the next few days, I dropped 5lbs. I'd completely lost my appetite and was eating a piece of toast and banana a day.
I returned to the doctor who said my liver function was slightly elevated but that was all. The next few days saw a further 4-5lbs dropped. Back to the doctors and he told me that I needed another blood test. This time he wanted to test for Pancreatitis. I asked them to test for lymphoma too (a friend of mine had been treated for it so I was paranoid). The test returned and it was fine. Because of the weight loss, he then put me on the fast track for a colonoscopy. On the 19th, suddenly, I got flu symptoms. Severe headaches and totally bunged up.
Christmas was a nightmare. I felt horrible, barely ate, and could barely move. I brought everyone down and looked gaunt and sick. I was so worried I was going to die. The colonoscopy couldn't come soon enough. When I had the colonoscopy, the GI who did it, said it looked great and didn't need to take any samples. Then I found out it was an extended sigmoidoscopy. But tried not to worry, because of his comments being so positive. The night sweats stopped and that was a relief.
The follow up with the doctor went fine and he suggested an ultrasound to check the other organs (especially the liver). During the US procedure, the guy mentioned that my spleen looked enlarged like I'd had an infection. He said everything else looked fine. But the followup showed he'd not written that on my report and instead said my pancreas was "shadowed" by stomach gas so was obscured. I panicked that I'd got a problem with my pancreas. The doctor assured me I was fine. A follow up appointment in Feb showed that my weight had stabilised and I was on the up.
Spring came and I saw a specialist due to the stomach cramping I was now having. He put me in for a CT scan and I begged for an endoscopy as I was born with Oesophageal atresia and felt it needed checking. He didn't think it was worth it, but after begging some more, he agreed. I had both in April and the CT scan showed an oesophageal pouch (I was aware of that anyway) but the Endoscopy showed chronic gastritis (negative-hPylori) so probably due to stress. The doctor asked for a barium swallow to check my throat out.
As the summer came, I gained my weight back on my body and felt pretty good. The occasional abdominal twinge but pretty good. In September, i had the barium swallow and motility looked good. I did notice some chest pain and under my arms but no swollen glands so I didn't pursue it and the pain went away. No problems. So I was happy...
Until October 2015.
On the 10th Oct, I went to a mates house to play guitar and ended up bruising under my right nipple. It left a big lump and I panicked. I went to see a doctor who said I'd probably pulled some muscles and said it was referred pain from posture. She also checked a mole and some itchy skin on the inside of my fingers which she said was probably eczema through stress. The mole was fine. But I wasn't. I was panicking about lumps on my chest again...
The next 2 months I noticed I'd lost some weight again. Trousers were a bit baggier as were tshirts. And my muscles in my chest, arms and legs felt smaller. I could also feel my bones really clearly, at least I was noticing them more. My face looked slimmer again, and I was panicking about it. Then the abdominal pain returned. Same as before. Everything was happening again. I went back to the doctors in December and had another blood test. Liver was more elevated than before (the doctor said my liver was going crazy, and when I panicked she retracted her comment.. saying it was just a little more active.) Also, I was producing slightly more red blood cells, but not by much at all. I was a wreck. I was also peeing a LOT and suffering breathing difficulty again. I was drinking more to try to keep hydrated but this lasted 3-5 weeks!
I went back to the doctors a couple more times over Christmas. Once to check a lump on my back which I thought was a mole, but the doctor said was a skin overgrowth and not to worry. December 19th, nearly exactly a year after I got flu symptoms again. They came and went a few times over the next 2-3 weeks but I'd pretty much spent 3 weeks on the sofa. I also then began to get neck ache, primarily on the right, but also the left a little. My glands were up and I began worrying I had lymphoma again. I had yet another blood test after seeing yet another doctor who wanted to test for Hepatitis and Glandular fever.
Well, I received the results yesterday and no hep and no glandular fever... HOWEVER, there was evidence that I'd had glandular fever. I'm betting the previous year.
Innocently (and perhaps stupidly) I thought I'd be proactive and look for ways to not get sick... only to find that glandular fever, in some cases, can lead to a form of lymphoma. SO of course, I'm now worried because of the neck pain, peeing, headaches, etc... I have another doctors appointment next week and I'm going to flat out ask him if It's likely, and also, tell him about the muscle/weight loss, and get them to check my chest and abdomen.
It seems like it's been a year of hell. I'm so anxious all the time, I have terrible behaviours like checking myself in the mirror, feeling my face, and body. I feel exhausted.
Any suggestions? Anyone else had anything similar? I don't know what to do. I'm trying CBT but it's online and not really helping. Mindfulness also seems to calm me a little, but I'm so scared about the weightloss. I don't know if it's something serious, or if It's simply anxiety/stress, since I'm still eating food normally.
Anyway, sorry for the rant.
Al