I am scared to go to work

[ruthie]

hi
i have a major problem in work at the moment and its all to do with my manager
she puts me down all the time and now i have lost all my confidence
i have tried to grin and bear it as i dont want to explode
but the icing is on the cake
she has given me a bad appraisal and each time i try to argue my case she comes up with another answer
she will just not see my point of view
the fact of the matter is that her team do not like to approach here as she can be very blunt and sometimes aggressive
so they all come to me with their queries therefor my productivity is suffering
my team have told me that they have more respect towards me than they do her which is nice but it still doesnt help the fact that she makes me feel undervalued
i am going to have to approach her on monday and i am terrified i will lose my rag any advice guys x

[eddie d]

this is difficult ,can you approach your managers boss ,and explain the situation to them .???above all keep your cool ,if you explode you will be in big trouble and there will be no reasoning .be cool ,calm .

[Melina]

Hi Ruthie,

Sorry to hear of the difficult situation you are in.
I wonder do you have a clearly defined job description? ie. if you know you are fulfulling and meeting those expectations, as well as coming in on time etc etc, would there be someone in Human Resources or Personnel that you could talk to in confidence initially? in terms of asking thier advice, rather than an offical compliant (but, at the same time it will be noted by a 3rd party) If this Manager is giving you a hard time and unfairly giving you poor appraisals, it could be tricky approaching her directly - at least if you have made a 3rd party who is in a position of authority aware of the situation, if you do speak to your Manager and perhaps she decides to misinterrupt your meeting (to her benefit if you know what I mean) or if she decides to be more difficult afterwards then you will have an opportunity to go back to the 3rd party so that they have a trail of events too, to safeguard your position at the company??

[bearcrazy]

Hi,

I am sorry to hear that you have a problem like this. The point is your manager is bullying you and everyone else. She has no right to do this. Do you belong to a union? Does your company have a 'whistle blowing' system where you can report people anonymously? I have had similar problems and CBT helped me by teaching me a technique that I use when I have to see my boss. I have to imagine myself in the same room as her, think about how I look compared to her. I always feeel small! Then I have to concentrate on growing up until I am on equal terms. It helps believe me. I also tell myself that I have a job to do and it is equally as important as hers, and her job is to support me in making the best I can of my job. She is just another person with a job, but in the grand scheme of things is no better than me!
Hope this helps!
Take Care xxxxx

[cattttt]

I have had this exact same problem, even had to defend myself in a formal complaint brought against me. My union was really helpful and so was the next manager up the line from my manager. This particular manager made life a misery for several people, but he'd been in the job so long, it was difficult to do anything about it. I too was afraid to go to work, my performance suffered, which gave him grist for his mill.
I know how hard this is, but if you want to stay in this job, you have to fight her and prove that she is bullying you, which is totally unacceptable.
With you all the way Ruthie, I'll be rooting for you.
(My problem wasn't solved until this person retired, and even then the information he passed on to his successor included stuff about me that just wasn't true, another new manager since then has brought about a big change and for the first time in years, I'm happy at work, despite my anxiety)
You can do it Ruthie!!!!!!!!!!