How to stop reassurance seeking, advice please

[cerridwen]

Hi all
My health anxiety manifests itself as a massive fear of cancer. I alternate between being convinced I have the disease (pancreatic, bone, breast, colon; it varies) to being convinced that I will absolutely have cancer in the future. I have become avoidant of my GP but seek reassurance from friends, family and Dr. Google. A number of you have posted that stopping seeking reassurance is a good thing and that you start to feel less anxious as a result. I have stopped Googling, asking friends and family and it's been a week now and my anxiety is through the roof! I have an almost irresistible urge to check myself and get online. It's very strong! So my anxiety is not reduced at all. Do any of you have any experiences of stopping seeking reassurance that caused enhanced anxiety? What can I do about it? I am not on medication and haven't spoken to my doctor for some time about the anxiety. Frankly he's not that helpful.

[AnxiouslyScared]

Hi :) I have to seek reassurance for my anxieties as well but what I recently started doing was writing my fears down in a journal and then writing some rational thoughts of that fear. I've also started giving my anxieties time limits. I still seek reassurance but I've been trying to cut back recently cause I'm pretty sure in starting to annoy my family cause I know I'm even annoying myself with Dr. Google. It's a work in progress but we can do it. :hugs:

[DMommy2]

Hi there i am also constantly seeking reassurance. I am very lucky to have an understanding GP. Once I learn to try and overcome my anxiety, it helps s bit to focus on something else. I almost try to remember when I was once carefree and that helps. I am glad we have a site like this, we are all here for eachother !

[MyNameIsTerry]

Hi :) I have to seek reassurance for my anxieties as well but what I recently started doing was writing my fears down in a journal and then writing some rational thoughts of that fear. I've also started giving my anxieties time limits. I still seek reassurance but I've been trying to cut back recently cause I'm pretty sure in starting to annoy my family cause I know I'm even annoying myself with Dr. Google. It's a work in progress but we can do it. :hugs:

That's a good strategy, well done!

Self reassurance is what is needed and you are building that. Cutting down is as effective is cutting off anything in the long term, it's easier to achieve though.

Have you also considered using a Thought Record? It's a CBT tool made for just what you are doing.

---------- Post added at 05:09 ---------- Previous post was at 05:02 ----------


Hi all
My health anxiety manifests itself as a massive fear of cancer. I alternate between being convinced I have the disease (pancreatic, bone, breast, colon; it varies) to being convinced that I will absolutely have cancer in the future. I have become avoidant of my GP but seek reassurance from friends, family and Dr. Google. A number of you have posted that stopping seeking reassurance is a good thing and that you start to feel less anxious as a result. I have stopped Googling, asking friends and family and it's been a week now and my anxiety is through the roof! I have an almost irresistible urge to check myself and get online. It's very strong! So my anxiety is not reduced at all. Do any of you have any experiences of stopping seeking reassurance that caused enhanced anxiety? What can I do about it? I am not on medication and haven't spoken to my doctor for some time about the anxiety. Frankly he's not that helpful.

Yes, these things do happen. It's not always a matter of cutting off a compulsion and seeing the anxiety decrease, sometimes it just stays at fever pitch.

When this happens, it could be because, for your severity of anxiety, it is just too much at the moment to achieve. So, break it down into easier steps and see if that is easier to resist.

For instance, if you have multiple sources of reassurance, cut one out and see how you cope. If you have to seek reassurance over & over, again cut it down a bit.

Whilst you need to break the cycle, it's not just about that. The compulsion is driven by a obsession and that needs to be resolved too but partially dismantling by "breaking the chain" can help to reduce the strength of the obsession so you can work on it.

Some people leave here and find it really helps them. But then they often come back too when something triggers them. It's that trigger that needs to be eradicated to resolve the real problem but learning to control compulsions can help reduce the size of the problem.

I have stopped all of my compulsions (I don't have HA ones) but I still feel the need inside me at times but now I can shrug it off and let it go.

Part of what I did was also try to accept the compulsion, do it but change my thinking towards me making the conscious choice to do it as opposed to being driven by it. I don't know how this fits in with therapy as this was only one of the things I tried, so I don't know how helpful it is to others or whether it would be more damaging for certain people or whether it's already a technique.

Sometimes changing the focus of the compulsion can help too. So, you use a different outlet and this helps reduce a compulsion that seeks something specific. This again isn't the answer but it can be a stepping stone by retraining into an easier one to break later.

[AnxiouslyScared]

Thank you Terry :) I'll look into the thought record

[uru]

Quotes from a paper I'm reading:

Anxious persons overestimate the probability of negative or threatening events happening to themselves (Butler 8c Mathews, 1983; 1987). They are also inclined to interpret ambiguous material as threatening and overpredict the cost of aversive events (Butler & Mathews, 1983).

People with GAD engage in multiple, persistent searches for safety, but they seldom succeed in achieving lasting satisfaction. They consult widely (Rapee, 1985), repeat- edly seeking reassurance from professionals, authorities, and family and friends. They seek information vigorously and persistently, and they insist on regular and frequent contacts (call home!) _They go to lengths to avoid risks, practice checking, pursue and recommend cautious behavior and hygienic habits, and engage in overprotective behavior. Despite all of this, they seldom achieve a sense of full safety. They remain vigilant and overactive and hence experience persistent fatigue.

The threats are manifold, and many concern unknowable future misfortunes that inevitably preclude a sense of safety. Due to the wide range of perceived threats, the vigorous searching for safety seldom reaches a conclusion; the apprehension and search for safety persists.

[Allochka]

Very thoughtful replies here, and great techniques recommended!
When I was at the moment when my health anxiety lessened, it was exactly due to stopping reassurance seeking. I cut out googling and docs visits cold turkey. And it helped! I also felt the urge at the beginning, but it lessened gradually.
1 week is not enough to see the results, please give yourself some more time, and keep fighting!

[Darwin73]

I have had HA my whole life (40 years), and have always gone through periods of reassurance seeking. I used to drive my family mad when I was younger (in the days before Google, I spent my time in libraries reading medical journals and encyclopaedias!). I had CBT 10 years ago and it has definitely helped with seeking reassurance. Nowadays, I try to rationalise first, think about logical reasons for my symptoms. I still seek reassurance sometimes, but I would say it's only a couple of times a month and doesn't stress anyone out. One thing you could do is say, 'right, I've asked for reassurance once today, I'm not going to ask again for 24 hrs', then gradually cut back until you're only asking a couple of times a week etc. The writing lists of logical reasons why you might be having certain symptoms is a great way to self-reassure.

[artist12]

Hi there! I completely understand your struggle and I think it's a really good thing that you're seeking ways to break the cycle of worry and reassurance.

I've been having a really hard time this year with obsessive checking, researching and spinning into a rabbit hole of panic about my health symptoms.

Just yesterday, actually, I went back to my doctor, had a very frank discussion about how I no longer felt able to distinguish between anxiety-induced symptoms and "real" symptoms that require further medical attention, and together we decided I should try Setraline (Zoloft).

Prior to this I did try to avoid reassurance by coming to this forum when instead I wanted to search my symptoms, or calling a friend or otherwise distracting myself in some way. When I did feel compelled to search online, I added "anxiety" or "no more panic" to my search term to show myself that whatever I was feeling was not guaranteed worse case scenario. But even though I wanted to stop seeking reassurance, I just physically couldn't, so I hope with the intervention of medication I will be able to beat the very physical manifestations of OCD which make me check compulsively.

I think the doctor you choose matters greatly. I've found that some are very dismissive of HA, some cause you to panic on the spot with poorly chosen words and the ordering of unnecessary tests...you really need someone who is firm but extremely kind and compassionate toward someone with health anxiety and who can listen to you with patience and understanding. I'd highly recommend you try to find another doctor that you feel you can be more open with. And whether or not medication might be an option for you is a choice you can make together.

Best of luck to you!