HELP!!!!

[kazzie]

Hi Guys

Well its me again with the lament of the alkie cousin!!!

Ok will try and keep this short.........

couldent reach him on the phone so went round there last tuesday found him out cold on sofa ripped my muscles putting him in recovery position!!!

He came round dident want an ambulance so was left with him his flat is DISGUSTING to say the least!!!! He has been emptying cat litter tray in the kitchen and there is dirty cat litter everywhere!!

He bought a hamster 2 months ago and its dead he dident feed it!!!

Ok I will stop there but im at my wits end to know what to do now!!!

If he dies I will feel sooooooo guilty but he wont have any help he knows he is an alkie and is quite happy being one!!!!

Does anyone have any ideas????

Thanks guys

luv kaz x x x

[wobily_lin]

Awww hun,

I'm so sorry you have this on ur shoulders..it must b awful..
Ultimately it has to be his decision to stop drinking and want the help..Have you called his GP?..make him go to the house and see him and the place for himself.....
How long has this been goin on?..it's like any addiction if the person dont want to stop or help then ppl have to just watch them destroy themselves which is what you are now having to do...It must be so hard...
I wish there was more advice I could give you hun....
One of my sisters used to live with me for a year..in that time she overdosed i duno how many times....at first I took every precaution possible to stop her doin it..hid all meds n wnt into shops with her etc...but it got to the stage where I realised that no matter what I did, if she chose to take them there was nothing I could do to stop her...It was her responsibility to want to stop. In the end she was admitted into hosp n is now doin well.....
I know it's hard to see hun and I know how worried you are..
Not a lot more I can say atm. I know it's not much help hun but ppl have to want help in the first place..
thinking of you..


((K))

[debbsi]

Hi
I agree with Lin it does have to be their decision, unfortunately they dont always admit theres a problem until something bad happens, eg being admitted to hospital. I have experienced several patients who have been in the same position, once in hospital they do get a lot of help, social workers can arrange for their house to be cleaned, occupational therapists can take them on a home visit to ensure they are safe, and of course drs and nurses can help them medically. Also advice should be given on dealing with alcoholism. However we do also see a lot of 'revolving door' patients who end up back in hospital time after time refusing to take responsiblity of their addiction. The problem is getting your cousin to get the help in the first place.
Good luck, dont blame yourself you sound like youve been an angel

[kazzie]

Thanks Debs and Lin,

Debs he is the classic revolving door patient he has end stage liver disease and keeps discharging himself from hospital!!!!

Lin you are right it is soul destroying to watch him do this to himself!!!! He freely admits he has a problem but he does not want help!!!

Been to check on him today and he was a bit more with it tho still surrounded by empties!!!! He promised me he would at least remove the cat poo from the kitchen!!!

This whole sorry mess is driving me to drink:emot-drunk:

Luv Kaz x x x

[Karen]

Hi Kazzie

Sounds like you are doing all you can to help him and at the end of the day there is only so much you can do.

I wondered whether to post here because I can sense it is the way people feel with me sometimes - desperate for me to get help and get well when I still am not able or ready to let go of anorexia.

Alcoholism is no different. He has to want to at least get some help before any steps can be made towards recovery.

I can only try to imagine how hard it is to do all you are for him and still have to stand by and watch what he does to himself. Wish there was more I could say to help.

:hugs:

Karen xx

[EebyJeeby]

Hi Kazzie,

This kind of situation is so difficult.

One positive thing you could do is rescue the animal(s). It doesn't sound like he is coping with their care and there is new legislation coming in about animal neglect. You could save the animal(s) and prevent your cousin for being prosecuted for neglect (which could lead to prison).

I have a great deal of sympathy for you, as alcoholism is such a tricky area but ultimately you can only help those who want to be helped.

Eeb x

[kazzie]

Thanks Karen and Eeb for your replies!!!!

Karen there is no way him and you can be compared you try to help yourself as much as you can and make the effort to get outside help:hugs:

Eeb I have reported him to the RSPCA but because the cat and dog are fed albeit randomly they wont intervene!!!

I cant have them here cos I have 3 cats and 3 dogs and his cat hates other cats and his dog attacked my little yorkie sometime ago and he nearly lost an eye through it!!!

We are going to speak to the social services and his GP but doubt they will do anything!!!

Thanks again everyone

Luv Kaz x x x

[lildutt]

i agree with eebyjeeby
bellxx

[yorkylover]

Hi Kazz,you have done what you can,if they dont want to be helped then there isnt much else you can do.Pm me anytime.Well done on contacting the rspca.The animals shouldnt have to suffer,hes already let one die.like eeby said you can only help them who want to be helped.

[Karen]

Thanks Kazzie


Karen there is no way him and you can be compared you try to help yourself as much as you can and make the effort to get outside help:hugs:
Well I do try... whether I get anywhere is anyother matter.

There RSPCA have strict guidelines. It there any way he will agree to voluntarily give them up for rehomining as hard as that would be. It isn't an idea situation.

I hope you get somewhere with social services and his GP. It is hard when he seemingly doesn't really want outside help. I hope there is a way to reach him.

Good luck and let us know how you get on.

We're here for you.

Karen xx

[wobily_lin]

Elo hun,
Well if ye say that he has been in and out of hosp. and has discharged himself well yes classic revolving door..not good..
Yes make sure the wee cats r okies...he may not care bout himself or want help but at least ye can make sure they are looked after...so hard eh??
Don't you go turning to drink woman, ye know that's not the answer..
From what ye say maybe docs wont do anything. As in case wit me sis..but they did in the end.
He has a disease..it is hard for him to stop..but he truely has to want to stop and want help if things are gona change..he has to b strong and say NO MORE DRINK....
Kazz, you are and have done all you can...that is all any of us can do..Its hard but even harder when it involves family..

BIG HUGS TO YOU