Goosenufc
16-01-16, 18:21
Hi all,
So this is actually my first post on this site, however over the past few years I've viewed and searched through this forum more times than I can care to remember.
I'm a 24 year old male and have suffered with bad health anxiety (specifically a fear of cancer) since 2012.
I've always been a bit anxious when I was younger, coupled with an overactive mind (ADHD) plus my mother is a serial worrier.
My stepfather who was the figure of good health died suddenly in 2012 due to a heart attack (misdiagnosed by GP 3 days prior) aged 52, the health anxiety sharp followed - like a train.
You will all be well drilled on the process of noticing an abnormality and then convincing yourself that you are going to die from it.
Since 2012 I have convinced myself (and I mean - well and truly convinced myself) that I have had the following.
1. Lymphoma (right side neck gland bigger than left side)
2. Liver cancer/burst spleen (left ribcage more prominent than the right)
3. Heart disease (chest pain - idigestion)
4. Diabetes (feeling tired - drink a lot of sugar)
5. Bowl cancer (constipated)
6. Rectal cancer (it's a pile :roflmao:)
7. Gall bladder cancer (ultrasound for number 2 issue above showed some very small polyps - 6 monthly monitoring in place for my own peace of mind)
8. Testicular cancer (pain in the nuts - no pun intended - ultrasound fine)
9. Lung cancer (cough)
10. Throat cancer (acid reflux)
etc etc etc...
Each of these issues has absolutely plagued my life and when suffering (95% of the time) I will literally spend 80% of my waking hours thinking about them, how I am dying, and how everybody else is wrong and doesn't believe me.
I've been to my GP countless times to try and resolve this issue since 2012 and I have undertaken a full course of CBT which I continued to the end. This helped me ever so slightly but I already knew where I was going wrong I just couldn't do anything about it. How do you beat your own twisted mind? Your own mind knows all your own flaws, and how to exploit and beat them.
I tried numerous SSRI's (for over 2 months each) to no avail.
I tried to cope by smoking copious amounts of Cannabis every day (helped me sleep & eat) but it was of no benefit.
I then found benefit in abusing codeine as a relief - I strongly advise against doing this for your own good in the long term. Opiates are bad!
About 6 months ago I reached crisis point and was given an urgent referral to a psychiatrist specialising in anxiety.
He prescribed me 2 things:
- Lyrica (Pregabalin)
- Sessions of "Mindfulness"
I have recently just completed my mindfulness therapy and it just wasn't for me. I can see how the approach be beneficial for some - it wasn't my cup of tea.
Lyrica / Pregabalin
I have been on this drug now (75mg 3x day) for 6 months and my HA has practically vanished. I still worry if I notice an "abnormality" but I can deal with it rationally and not go inter hyperdrive and then lock on to certain impending death for the next 6 months.
It can make me a bit groggy the morning after if I take it late at night - but asides from that it has well and truly gave me my life back.
I recommend this treatment to anybody who feels they have no other avenues left to explore.
I did not want to carry on using codeine to self treat my mind, nor did I want to reach a point where benzos were the last resort.
My heart goes out to all of those currently suffering HA without a coping mechanism in place.
There's not a lonelier place in the world to be than to think your life is ending.
So this is actually my first post on this site, however over the past few years I've viewed and searched through this forum more times than I can care to remember.
I'm a 24 year old male and have suffered with bad health anxiety (specifically a fear of cancer) since 2012.
I've always been a bit anxious when I was younger, coupled with an overactive mind (ADHD) plus my mother is a serial worrier.
My stepfather who was the figure of good health died suddenly in 2012 due to a heart attack (misdiagnosed by GP 3 days prior) aged 52, the health anxiety sharp followed - like a train.
You will all be well drilled on the process of noticing an abnormality and then convincing yourself that you are going to die from it.
Since 2012 I have convinced myself (and I mean - well and truly convinced myself) that I have had the following.
1. Lymphoma (right side neck gland bigger than left side)
2. Liver cancer/burst spleen (left ribcage more prominent than the right)
3. Heart disease (chest pain - idigestion)
4. Diabetes (feeling tired - drink a lot of sugar)
5. Bowl cancer (constipated)
6. Rectal cancer (it's a pile :roflmao:)
7. Gall bladder cancer (ultrasound for number 2 issue above showed some very small polyps - 6 monthly monitoring in place for my own peace of mind)
8. Testicular cancer (pain in the nuts - no pun intended - ultrasound fine)
9. Lung cancer (cough)
10. Throat cancer (acid reflux)
etc etc etc...
Each of these issues has absolutely plagued my life and when suffering (95% of the time) I will literally spend 80% of my waking hours thinking about them, how I am dying, and how everybody else is wrong and doesn't believe me.
I've been to my GP countless times to try and resolve this issue since 2012 and I have undertaken a full course of CBT which I continued to the end. This helped me ever so slightly but I already knew where I was going wrong I just couldn't do anything about it. How do you beat your own twisted mind? Your own mind knows all your own flaws, and how to exploit and beat them.
I tried numerous SSRI's (for over 2 months each) to no avail.
I tried to cope by smoking copious amounts of Cannabis every day (helped me sleep & eat) but it was of no benefit.
I then found benefit in abusing codeine as a relief - I strongly advise against doing this for your own good in the long term. Opiates are bad!
About 6 months ago I reached crisis point and was given an urgent referral to a psychiatrist specialising in anxiety.
He prescribed me 2 things:
- Lyrica (Pregabalin)
- Sessions of "Mindfulness"
I have recently just completed my mindfulness therapy and it just wasn't for me. I can see how the approach be beneficial for some - it wasn't my cup of tea.
Lyrica / Pregabalin
I have been on this drug now (75mg 3x day) for 6 months and my HA has practically vanished. I still worry if I notice an "abnormality" but I can deal with it rationally and not go inter hyperdrive and then lock on to certain impending death for the next 6 months.
It can make me a bit groggy the morning after if I take it late at night - but asides from that it has well and truly gave me my life back.
I recommend this treatment to anybody who feels they have no other avenues left to explore.
I did not want to carry on using codeine to self treat my mind, nor did I want to reach a point where benzos were the last resort.
My heart goes out to all of those currently suffering HA without a coping mechanism in place.
There's not a lonelier place in the world to be than to think your life is ending.