Mole and Melanoma fear support !

[Scared99]

I am hoping everyone on this board with the fear of melanoma can chime in.. and those of you who do not have this fear.

I am petrified of developing melanoma. I am 35 years old and used tanning beds in my early 20's. I spent alot of my weeekends at the beach growing up and can remember several sun burns ( they did not blister). I used to sun bath and used amplifier when I was younger. I do not know if I am fair skin... which is freaking me out... I get somewhat pale in the winter and usually get a slight sunburn in the spring. By the end of the summer I am a very dark complexion.

I have italian, german and irish heritage with no melanoma in my family. My fear as of late has been about my moles. I have tons of tiny pin size moles all over my torso and back. They are very dark brown and flat. I also have about 7-10 the size of a pencil eraser. I have had one slightly atypical mole removed from my back.

I have convinced myself due to my past that I am destined for melanoma. It is making me sick. I cannot enjoy my current day to day life. Within a day of an dermatology appointment I find another mole that will freak me out. I need some advice.... words of encouragement stats..... anything

[WorryWortAgain]

If you are going to the dermatologist regularly you will be fine. Even if you were to have a suspicious mole that turned out to be cancerous it would be found and removed so you wouldn't get sick or worse. You don't have any other risk factors beyond sun exposure so I really don't think you have anything to worry about. Just go to the dermatologist every year or if they tell you to go every 6 months then do that. I have melanoma fears also but from what I've read as long as I go every year to be checked I'll be fine. So that's what I do!

[Masonn]

I'm 17 and melanoma is probably my most triggering HA issue because it has no real.. physical symptoms until it gets dangerous. I have a big mole/birthmark that has a chance of melanoma higher than a regular mole and it terrifies me, it's about 2 inches. I can't get it removed because it would require a skin graph which is a surgical procedure I'd have to pay for and obviously don't have the money for.

I'm quite lucky, being a shut in for the past 5 years of my life outside going to school and playing soccer I don't really have many risk factors, although I live in Australia and we have stronger UV rays. Honestly, if I didn't have this birthmark I wouldn't get anxious about melanoma. My mother is South American, my skin never burns and only tans, even though my dad is Italian. My mother however spends literally every weekend outside tanning, and she grew up tanning too. I'm extremely anxious for her. She doesn't see any doctors or have a worry in the world about melanoma it seems, I'm not even sure she knows what it is. I really want her to get checked when I finally see a dermatologist for my birthmark soon. She's a long-time smoker too.

For advice, I'd say pictures. It's easy to 'assume' that your mole is changing due to anxiety so for reassurance take pictures and tell yourself these moles are not changing, and of course if they do you'll notice a lot faster! Make sure the pictures are from the same angles and of high quality, or maybe one will look different to the other and give you a heart attack. (Happened to me..)

Also, realise majority of melanoma's are from new moles and majority are very distinguishable and noticeable. If you're seeing a dermatologist regularly you have nothing to worry about, they know what to look for. Here in Australia it's free to get moles removed even if it's considered cosmetic if it's just a small cut and stitch procedure, I don't know if it's like that where you are but if you're worried they can't force you not to get something removed. I've gotten 2 removed so far which was just because I asked even though the doctors told me it's unnecessary. Though, I guess that's not very healthy for your anxiety lol.

Consider my mum an example that not everyone with risk factors gets melanoma. Sure, she's hispanic (I think..? The whole what hispanic is confuses me lol, but she's definitely not white white), but she moved to Australia at 6, basically lived tanning on beaches and tanning beds growing up, and even at 55 now she still tans outside for 2-5 hours every single weekend that there's sun. She's also been a heavy smoker since 20 (god my mum scares me to death lol). You're 35, majority of melanoma are in people over 50.

[Scared99]

Thank you worry and Mason, the thing that frustrates me is there is so much conflicting info on melanoma. Some doctors say the sun doesn't cause it and that getting sun is crucial to prevent melanoma. Other doctors make it sounds like we should live like vampires and avoid all sun light.

Mason I too have a birthmark on my left temple that can't get removed. Every derm visit they examine it well. My mom and dad sound were like your mom. They spent every waking hour in the sun. My dad worked outside for 14 years and never wore sun screen. My mom has never been to a derm and my dad at 70 has had a few basal cells removed!!

At the moment my anxiety is super high bcause a derm took a mile off my stomach that I've had since 2002-2003 or so. I never noticed it changing but keep saying what if!?

[Worried 24/7]

I'm undergoing a terrifying fear that my six year old daughter has melanoma. She has a black mole that appeared a year and half ago but a month ago all of a sudden it has a red bump in the middle of it. She said she used to try and pick it off so the doctor and everyone else says that's why it looks so weird but I am COMPLETELY convinced it's melanoma and I am beyond terrified and crying and freaking out. So I sympathize with your fear :(

---------- Post added at 08:17 ---------- Previous post was at 07:35 ----------

This is what I have found upon researching:

US pop: 320,090,857 people
Melanoma cases predicted for 2016: 76,380
Percentage of Melanoma cases that are pediatric: 4%
Percentage of pediatric melanoma cases under age of ten: 10%

This all factors up to her having a .000001% chance of having melanoma.

I don't play the lottery because I think it's absurd to think I would possibly win those odds. The odds of winning the lottery are so bad, yet I believe she has a cancer that one in a million and some people get.....

[Masonn]

Thank you worry and Mason, the thing that frustrates me is there is so much conflicting info on melanoma. Some doctors say the sun doesn't cause it and that getting sun is crucial to prevent melanoma. Other doctors make it sounds like we should live like vampires and avoid all sun light.

Mason I too have a birthmark on my left temple that can't get removed. Every derm visit they examine it well. My mom and dad sound were like your mom. They spent every waking hour in the sun. My dad worked outside for 14 years and never wore sun screen. My mom has never been to a derm and my dad at 70 has had a few basal cells removed!!

At the moment my anxiety is super high bcause a derm took a mile off my stomach that I've had since 2002-2003 or so. I never noticed it changing but keep saying what if!?

Just saw this now :) What colour is your birthmark and how big is it?

[Scared99]

Mason, the mole on my stomach was 4mm. It was the largest one on my body. From a distance it looked almost black but when you looked at it from close it was very dark brown. I got the results this week and that mole was completely benign not even atypical.

[Fishmanpa]

the thing that frustrates me is there is so much conflicting info on melanoma.

Dr. Google sure is confusing isn't he? You've seen medical professionals and still allow Dr. Google and the dragon to tell you otherwise. Are you getting help for your anxiety?

Positive thoughts

[Scared99]

Fish, you are absolutely correct. I have been in a spiral with health anxiety and OCD. I have been to 4 different doctors and it seems like I am never satisfied with what they say. If I go about a mole and they tell me it is benign I come home and say what do they know and google it..... then I get myself into a funk.

In my moments of clarity I realize I have had issues for years. I need something to obsess over. When it is a worthy goal I can do great things but when I have too much time on my hands it becomes hell. I feel good for a few months at a time. Then the cycle starts... worry, worry, google, obsess, obsess, doctor, doctor, doctor, usually do not believe what they say... obsess some more... get depressed.... withdraw from friends.... piss them off.... feel alone... slowly return to normal for a few months..... then have the cycle repeat itself.