SpaceHamster
17-01-16, 13:01
Hi,
I've been under a lot of stress lately (work pressure, rejection from someone I loved, boyfriend in an accident...), and anxiety/panic attacks that I thought were things of the past for me have been back for three months. The last 4 weeks have been especially bad, I've been alternating beetween days of feeling very sad and low and days of panicky feelings and nearly constant anxiety. Doctors have told me this is a reaction to stressful events and situations, and that it should go better when things around me will settle a bit (I hope so). I've been prescribed Xanax 0,25, to take as needed. I see my long-time therapist once every week.
For a few days, I've been obsessed with the fear of "going manic". For the record, I haven't had mood problems in the past, I'm a sensitive person but my mood variations seem to be in the normal range. After feeling so bad for a few weeks, I feel as if every hint of doing better, of having some energy back, is a symptom of mania. And it drives me into panic. Feeling good and a bit high after running? Mania. Excited about upcoming travel? Mania. Not very tired at bedtime? Mania. Racing thoughts, rush of adrenaline, tingling feeling, being "on edge"? Mania. Everything? Mania. My day-to-day actions haven't changed, I'm not feeling more social or irritable fo example, my boyfriend says I'm acting as usual, but I'm still frightened.
For example, I started reading an enlightening book about anxiety yesterday evening, it really talked to me and I felt happy for finding what seemed like a useful tool. Then I started to feel "keyed-up", telling me "OMG this is it, feeling good about something like that isn't normal, you're loosing control, you're going too high, you'll never be back to normal, etc". I was convinced that, since I was going manic, I wouldn't sleep that night : I took a Xanax and slept like a log for 7 hours anyway, so...
My therapist told me a few days ago that this was anxiety, not mania, and reminded me that she knew me for 14 years now, that she also worked with bi-polar people and that I wasn't like that. But I'm still spending hours and hours terrified of this idea, googling symptoms, constantly scanning my mind and my body for hints of excitation, restlessness and nervosity (since anxiety can give you these symptoms anyway...).
Have you ever experienced similar worries about BP/mania? What helped you stay rational about it?
I've been under a lot of stress lately (work pressure, rejection from someone I loved, boyfriend in an accident...), and anxiety/panic attacks that I thought were things of the past for me have been back for three months. The last 4 weeks have been especially bad, I've been alternating beetween days of feeling very sad and low and days of panicky feelings and nearly constant anxiety. Doctors have told me this is a reaction to stressful events and situations, and that it should go better when things around me will settle a bit (I hope so). I've been prescribed Xanax 0,25, to take as needed. I see my long-time therapist once every week.
For a few days, I've been obsessed with the fear of "going manic". For the record, I haven't had mood problems in the past, I'm a sensitive person but my mood variations seem to be in the normal range. After feeling so bad for a few weeks, I feel as if every hint of doing better, of having some energy back, is a symptom of mania. And it drives me into panic. Feeling good and a bit high after running? Mania. Excited about upcoming travel? Mania. Not very tired at bedtime? Mania. Racing thoughts, rush of adrenaline, tingling feeling, being "on edge"? Mania. Everything? Mania. My day-to-day actions haven't changed, I'm not feeling more social or irritable fo example, my boyfriend says I'm acting as usual, but I'm still frightened.
For example, I started reading an enlightening book about anxiety yesterday evening, it really talked to me and I felt happy for finding what seemed like a useful tool. Then I started to feel "keyed-up", telling me "OMG this is it, feeling good about something like that isn't normal, you're loosing control, you're going too high, you'll never be back to normal, etc". I was convinced that, since I was going manic, I wouldn't sleep that night : I took a Xanax and slept like a log for 7 hours anyway, so...
My therapist told me a few days ago that this was anxiety, not mania, and reminded me that she knew me for 14 years now, that she also worked with bi-polar people and that I wasn't like that. But I'm still spending hours and hours terrified of this idea, googling symptoms, constantly scanning my mind and my body for hints of excitation, restlessness and nervosity (since anxiety can give you these symptoms anyway...).
Have you ever experienced similar worries about BP/mania? What helped you stay rational about it?