Surrounded by cancer

[Mudskipper]

Haven't been on here in ages, managing to kep a lid on things for a while and wary of feeding my anxieties too much. Anyhow I'm turning 50 this year and aware that I'm hitting the age range where the big C is more likely to strike. A couple of weeks before Christmas we lost a close family friend to it at the age of 47, she had two kids who go to school with our kids, then we learnt that another friend we hadn't heard from in ages had also succumbed to it. The media is full of it, first Lemmy from Motorhead, then David Bowie then Alan Rickman, not to mention a number of minor celebrities. Then my father-in-law asked me to run him to hospital on thursday for what I thought was a routine injection but turns out to be a sigmoidoscopy/colonoscopy because he's been passing blood and he's convinced he's got bowel cancer, not looking forward to that. I have problems in that department myself and to cap it all I had the BM from hell this morning and what I assume is another pile but I guess I'm going to have to get that checked out as well. All in all I'm back where I was years ago where I look forward to going to bed at night and don't look forward to waking up in the morning. I know they say talking about something bad can reduce the fear but do we talk about the big C a bit too much?
:unsure:

[Leslie735]

I know what you mean, it seems to be everywhere lately. Just in the past week 3 celebrities have passed away from it. Another one I read about that is in her final days with it. Its terrifying!!

[Masonn]

Yeah, it's really scary. I reassure myself that all the people I'm surrounded by diagnosed are a lot older than me. But just the fact that it can strike anyone at any-time is still horrifying. I guess we just have to remember we can't do anything but our best to prevent it.

[Savvy_Darling]

I feel for you.. My boyfriends uncle has lung cancer and we see him a lot and help him out and I feel like it doesn't help my anxiety about C. And yea it's all over the media and television. Can't go a day without hearing it or seeing something about it. It scares me. I feel like they fear monger it too. Trying to raise more money and all this money we've raised over years and years and there still isn't a cure? I don't get it. All these other advancements we have like technology and other medical stuff but we're still using the same treatments from like the 80s or whatever. The cancer industry unfortunately is a billion dollar Buisness and I fear the money is more important than a cure all. But yes I agree with you and your right the only thing we can do is try to eat right exercise and do as many preventive things we can. :weep:

[Fishmanpa]

It's a rather common fact of life. I'm in my 50's and I've lost several to cancer and/or heart disease. I'm a survivor as well. I just do the best I can to live life to it's fullest.

The fact is, whether it's illness or an accident, nothing in life is guaranteed. We would greet each new day with thankfulness and do what we can to embrace the day. Carpe' Diem right?

Positive thoughts

[MyNameIsTerry]

I know they say talking about something bad can reduce the fear but do we talk about the big C a bit too much?
:unsure:

Yes, because it's not cancer that's the problem. Cancer just exists, it's not an entity targeting anyone. Just like how I couldn't change my clothes for weeks with my OCD, but clothes aren't the problem - why I wasn't changing them was the problem.

So, yes I do believe people talk too much about cancer. How much do people without HA talk about it? I don't have HA and I never talk about cancer, in fact we all groan when the ads come on anyway as we are sick of seeking them every five minutes.

Talking about it needs to be aimed at challenging it. At first you are bound to spend time just discussing your fears about it with little direction but if you only ever do that, you just spend time in worrying about them as opposed to moving forward. At some point you have to change that into something more productive.

[cerridwen]

I was 50 years old just before Christmas and have been thinking along exactly the same lines as many of you about cancer for some time now. I's only a matter of time before I get it......My mum died of breast cancer in 2014, a close friend, aged 63, has just been diagnosed with a rare and aggressive breast cancer for which there will be no cure for her, David Bowie, Lemmy, Alan Rickman, Dan Hagerty (Grizzly Adams...anyone remember him?).......and on and on...
Yes, I know that in this life, no one gets out alive (ha ha) but that philosophical approach does NOT help me at all, no sir!
I am still absolutely terrified of cancer. I think cancer is very hyped up by the media and by some charities scaremongering awareness campaigns. A sobering experience was when a neighbour, who is a consultant doctor at a big UK hospital, was diagnosed with cancer. I sort of expected her to cope well, her being an expert, but she was extremely anxious and stressed about the whole thing. Doctors get health anxious too - that was sort of mind-blowing to me. Fortunately she has been successfully treated. There has to be a way to stop this anxiety so we can all get some peace.
Cerridwen

[Wickers]

I'm 52 and was diagnosed with kidney cancer 3 years ago. At the same time two friends were also diagnosed with cancer. We are all still here and very much enjoying life.

Cancer treatments improve every year and as each year passes we are much more likely to survive cancer.

Cancer was my main anxiety pre diagnosis. Things are easier now that the fear of the unknown has been dealt with.

Take care.

[Fishmanpa]

Things are easier now that the fear of the unknown has been dealt with.

And there it is... the root of it all. Fear of the unknown and no control of it. I know of three severe anxiety sufferers that have dealt with their worst fears. In all cases, their anxiety took a back seat as they dealt with the situation at hand and in all cases, their anxiety remained there for the reason stated above.

When push comes to shove, you deal with it. What other choice do you have?

Positive thoughts

[MyNameIsTerry]

I know with HA that the focus is always on the worse but you really do have to try to remember what has been said above by a couple of people. Many people survive cancer and live happy lives after it...many better lives from the wake up call.

My nan had bowel cancer in her seventies and she beat it and this was 20 years ago. Things are better now.

My dad is in his mid seventies and the youngest of 13 kids. At his time of life he is seeing his friends & family die around him because it's just that stage of life. Several have died of cancer, strokes, etc but they were in their eighties and at that age every day could be your last anyway so their attitude is very different as they have learned to accept that it is just nature.

[Mudskipper]

Thanks for all responses, I know realistically it's a situation we're all stuck with but it helps to have a bit of a rant now and then to people who understand. Anyhow, FIL had his colonoscopy yesterday and got the all clear so that's one less thing to worry about.

Everyone's gone out tonight and left me on my own, so I've dug out my vinyl and I'm having a David Bowie evening. The big C may have got him but it'll never get his music, so thanks again folks, "Oh you pretty things!" indeed...

[Fishmanpa]

I've dug out my vinyl and I'm having a David Bowie evening. The big C may have got him but it'll never get his music, so thanks again folks, "Oh you pretty things!" indeed...

:yesyes: Love my vinyl! I have a 50+ Frank Zappa vinyl collection and a total of 300+ pieces. Might have to take your lead and pull out an old David Bowie album :) We're in the midst of a snow storm here on the East Coast of the US and we're not going anywhere for a couple of days.

Positive thoughts

[Mudskipper]

Got about 600 myself, mainly 60's to 80's but oddly enough no Zappa, can't have everything I guess. :huh:
Stay safe in that snow.