PDA

View Full Version : Need Help where to go ?



Worrywart528
19-01-16, 15:40
I can remember having health anxiety as far back as my early teens. I was afraid of AIDS... If I saw a band aid on the street it would set me off. These fears subsided and I had a few good years.

When I was in highschool I started to get sick my junior year. I was getting head colds, ear infections, sinus infections every other week. I lost 20 pounds and My lymph nodes all over my body popped up. My blood counts were off. It was at that time I first heard the C word in regards to my health. Endless tests, blood tests, a biopsy on a node in my neck.. countless anti biotics. I lived in fear during for the last two years of Higschool. While waiting for biopsy results i lived with the fear that I only had a few years left. When it was all said and done my tonsils were removed and I stopped getting sick every two weeks. I had peace for a short time.

My freshman year in college I Started experiencing muscle twitching and floaters in my eyes. I convinced myself I had ALS or MS. These thoughts consumed me. I started having panic attacks, from the constant worrying I was tired and slept alot more. The twitching continued. I had a break down where I told my girlfriend I think I had a nuerological disorder and I was dying. Eventually my symptoms never progressed and I accepted these twitches were from stress.

I had a very productive life and since college my health anxiety popped up and quickly faded. With every new girlfriend or hook up I quickly became anxious about STD's. I would examine myself non stop.... and get testing. I know these fears are insane but I obsess over it.

My newest bout of HA has been my worst and the one where I am saying I need to fix this. It is melanoma and other skin cancers. I grew up in the sun and came from a family that never used sun screen. We spent summers at the beach and I played outdoor sports my entire life. I used tanning beds in my 20's and sporadically into my 30's. I have alot of moles and over the last year have been sick over melanoma. It consumes me and I find myself obsessing over it. I will have a good day and start surfing the internet. I will find a story about someone whos life was cut short by melanoma and I find myself crippled with anxiety. I want to enjoy my life and have fun. It has been almost 20 years suffering with bouts of Health Anxiety and I cannot live like this anymore. I am open to any advice or help. I have never seen a mental health professional but am certain I have OCD and anxiety.

cerridwen
19-01-16, 17:28
Hi Worry,
It is entirely understandable that your neurological system is hardwired for health anxiety after your sickness experience in junior year. What a terrible thing to go through as a young person! I believe that our traumatic experiences do something to our neurological programming and that it changes our system to one of 'high alert' and it gets stuck there. Further health worries and illness experiences only reinforce the high alert. I don't have much in the way of advice for changing from code red to code green....I would be doing it myself if I had!
Having said that, there is a good book you can get called 'The Compassionate Mind' by Professor Paul Gilbert. He talks about the science behind the overactive threat/self protection system and talks about its evolutionary origins. You might be able to get it outside the UK too, need to check online booksellers in your area. Paul Gilbert also offers suggestions of what to do about it. It might help you.
My doctor told me an important thing once; just because you go against the health guidelines doesn't mean you are going to get the disease! My grandpa smoked, drank, took no exercise and worked in a steel factory most of his life and he lived to be 87. I'm not saying you should abuse your body, but it's just to illustrate that statistics that are quoted for health do not have a human face and are not always entirely accurate.
Regarding the melanoma, see your doc if you are at all worried. He/she may be able to reassure you that there's nothing to worry about.
Cerridwen