New puppy has triggered severe anxiety/panic

[MrMarenghi]

Hey guys,

Thanks for taking the time. A long time lurker on here.

I have suffered with anxiety on and off and had some counseling in the past at very tough times (family sickness, family wedding etc.), basic enough counselling though.
I was under quite a bit of stress last year but not really work related stress or workload or anything like that doesn't really trigger it. It's more basic everyday stuff, personal life, family, catastrophe thinking, thoughts running wild, not in the present moment, always thinking/planning ahead, not good with things I don't have control of, very sensitive/heart on my sleeve- that said I could go a good while and be ok with all of this, weeks or more.
Last year I developed physical symptoms, sore throat, back pain etc. I had lots of tests and it turned out to be... Anxiety. Of course i self diagnosed myself with every disease I could think of and suffered for months creating dramatic scenarios about being sick. Again, another scenario I was in a heap about that turned out ok.

So had a tough Xmas, just being stuck around family, again, all in my head, family are actually great. But my fiancé and I have been talking about getting a dog for a long time. One came up last week and we were thrilled, drove, picked it up etc 4days ago.
But after the initial novelty wore off, by the 2nd day I was anxious. Really surprised at myself. It's grown rapidly over each day, a feeling of panic and just huge fear, no appetite, barely sleeping. Couldn't concentrate in work, so anxious and thoughts running like crazy.
The dog is good, not badly behaved but things like hearing it crying/whining, I just can't take that, find it so upsetting. Then along with just the fact our lives seem locked down now. We can't bring him outside for the next 2wks.

I just have a huge urge that I can only describe as wanting to run away, really scared and I don't know why, I don't know how I'll get through tonight, or the next while. Have read other threads that it passes with time, but that takes patience.
All came to a head coming home from work today and just breaking down and crying, uncontrollable... We've only had him 4days. It's insane. Really just don't know what to do so though posting here might work. Even thinking should I go to the Dr? Never been on medication or anything like that but I'm desperate.

Thx

[uru]

I know the feeling of feeling trapped and wanting to flee. I think it's part of anxiety.

[MrMarenghi]

Hi guys. If anybody has any advice, it'd be much appreciated.
Another evening and in bits again, no idea what's wrong with me. Have booked a Dr appointment tomoro, really hope can get some help. Never been involved in medication or anything like that but am at my wits end.

Reading a lot of what people say it makes sense that it passes over time etc, but just so hard to find any comfort in that.

Thanks

[Fishmanpa]

Yeah... it's like having a baby all over again. The responsibilities, the training etc. BUT... Isn't it all worth it? I mean..... puppy kisses and warm bellies... big loving eyes that shine when they see you... waggy butts and unconditional loyalty and love.

It will be so worth it!

Positive thoughts

[MrMarenghi]

Thanks. I guess I'm wondering are there good coping techniques to get through it?

[perry12]

This is all completely normal and I promise you it will pass. I was actually in a really good place when I got my puppy but then me and my wife were absolutely shattered after the first few days and yes it is a huge responsibility and a life changing thing. I did question what we had done but that soon passed in a few weeks once the pup becomes a part of your life and routine.

2 years on and my dog means the absolute world to me, he is a joy and I honestly think he has helped me huge amounts, having someone to care for, walk and constant love from, its ace.

I have seen it many times with new dog owners, do not worry, it will pass.

[Fishmanpa]

Thanks. I guess I'm wondering are there good coping techniques to get through it?

That's what I'm saying.

"puppy kisses and warm bellies... big loving eyes that shine when they see you... waggy butts and unconditional loyalty and love."

Whenever you feel stressed, get down on the floor with that bundle of fur and let him love all over you! :D

Positive thoughts

[MrMarenghi]

Thx.

I guess though I'm feeling blind panic, lying awake at night and at the end of my tether. No appetite or motivation. Like Im so tired it's starting to really effect my work. So even by anxiety standards, seems off the deep end. That's why I booked a Dr apt. My first Dr apt with this. (Apart from 6mths of tests last yr where they thought I had x y and z but it all turned out to be anxiety causing physical symptoms. No medication at that point though )

Like my urge is to say to the Dr, I need something to get over these few weeks, is that unreasonable? My CBT therapist can't see me for 3wks.

[MyNameIsTerry]

This might help show you how others have felt the same but stuck it out and beaten it and now have a lovely new friend:

http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=161086&highlight=puppy
http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=34189&highlight=puppy

Try to stick it out, it will change. Your love will overtake the anxiety. I was exactly the same when we had ours and now he is 9 on Friday.

[MrMarenghi]

Thanks for the replies.
All makes sense for sure but as most can probably sympathise with, it's hard when in the middle of it to see an end to it.

Fingers crossed my Dr can help temporarily after another night of no sleep, no appetite again and feeling rotten this morning.

---------- Post added at 07:29 ---------- Previous post was at 07:27 ----------

Actually can I update I thing, I think the worse thing is at night thiinking I'll hear him cry or whine etc.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Yes, I was exactly the same. That period of getting a dog used to sleeping on his own can be tricky and I would lie in bed waiting to hear him.

Don't worry about not taking him outside, that's for his own good and it will soon be over. Just taking him out for a wee & poo at his designated spot in the yard/garden is enough for now. Soon he will be able to go for walks and will love it.

It's change, it's commitment, it's someone to worry about. You will settle into it. Try to spend time bonding, it can help you overcome it by wanting him there.

[MrMarenghi]

Thx for the replies MyNameIsTerry.
Kinda feel ok when I'm in work, busier. The dark mornings and evenings aren't necessarily helping either.

I suppose overall though I've felt this before, not this bad in like 10yrs or more but I didn't know any better than to push though it, plus i thought it was down to an event/person as opposed to having a problem myself then. But it was horrendous then and cost me a lot personally looking back. It also established a lot of avoidance, bad habits like that.
At the very least coming out of this I'm going to the Dr today and in a few weeks staring proper CBT. So there's that... in the short term though to even do my job, I need the Dr to not fob me off. Having never gone to a Dr about this stuff before I hope that's not the case. In fairness at least it's the same Dr I went to last yr while ill and he diagnosed it as anxiety, not a virus etc. and of course I promised I'd start the CBT guy he recommended... cut to 3mths later and here I am.

[MyNameIsTerry]

You know what, that's exactly what I did when I had my breakdown. I spent a year off work and then got back into it and worked my backside off and when I relapsed later I started to actually learn about anxiety disorders to find I had really been practicing a load of avoidance.

I think given your doctor offered you therapy, they will be understanding. He obviously understands the importance of addressing issues, which meds will never do, so is cautious in his approach when he could have easily dished out the meds which are so cheap you wouldn't believe in the case of many of them (cheaper than out prescription charge over here :winks:)

Speaking to your doctor is a proactive thing to do. Your doctor will see it as that.

[MrMarenghi]

So my Dr listened and was helpful. Initially have been prescribed 5mg of Lexapro to start and see where I get with a backup of some Xanax should I have any major meltdowns. Then the CBT starting in early Feb. He said in short that my bad coping mechanisms that I relied on kept weakening and this tipped me over the edge.

Like is said above, no experience of medication and never properly been treated. But as bad as this puppy issue still is, its kick started addressing the underlying anxiety issues I have.

[jimsmrs]

Your puppy is lonely and probably a little scared that's all. He's been taken away from his litter mates and his mum.
If you can get hold of a small ticking clock and wrap it one of your old tee shirts, something with your scent on and put it in his bed, it mimmicks a heart-beat. Also try to leave a radio on low for him, a talk station is better or a classical music station, then he shouldn't feel as lonely or anxious.

They're like babies for the first few weeks.

[Shazamataz]

I had a similar experience when I adopted my first dog nearly four years ago. I had been desperate for a dog for as long time. Found a beautiful girl (collie x 7 months) through a local rescue organisation. I'd never had a dog before so was very excited. Booked a week off work so we could have a chance to settle in together.

Then I got the flu really bad and then for several days had what I now know was an enormous panic attack! I was sick and had taken on this HUGE responsibility and felt so overwhelmed how much she needed me and I was feeling really ill and couldn't rest because she was full of beans and needed to be exercised and played with.

I ended up taking her back to her foster family, got a couple days rest/sleep and then realised I couldn't live without her so she came back. They were very understanding and I haven't looked back.

It's a big adjustment. Some friends have said they felt the same when they had a baby.

Just allow yourself do enjoy the dog and soon you will wonder how you ever managed without one :)

[MrMarenghi]

Hi guys,

Just to follow up am feeling much better. I dunno if it's the Lexapro or just getting used to the dog or both... probably both... but after about 6 days from when we got the dog I felt an improvement. Bit by bit every day after I began to feel like myself again. It's still a bit stressful and he's a handful but for me there is a big difference between stress, and anxiety. Stress I can handle and moan about, anxiety stops me in my tracks.

Thx for all the repleis

[MyNameIsTerry]

That's excellent news, MrMarenghi! :yesyes::yahoo:

I doubt it's the meds in such a short space of time. To be honest, that's the time when the side effects will most likely have started. I reckon, just like the rest of us, you have simply adapted and passed through that fear of the commitment & responsibility, the change & uncertainty, and have now seen your doggie for what he/she means to you.

You will find your dog as great comfort to you in times of future anxiety & stress, they are great for this.

[beatroon]

Just wanted to add my congratulations and am so pleased you are feeling much better. I'm coming to this thread belatedly but I felt exactly the same when we got our houserabbit - it was the responsibility and feelings of extreme love for this tiny thing! But it's all worth it. Well done you for being proactive in seeking support and getting yourself back on track!

[shirlp]

Puppy's r hard work to get settled in. Mine cried every night for over a week, and he was such a tiny little thing. But he is the best thing out.. He distracts me wen I feel crap, he is my fourth baby.. I'm glad that u getting the pup helped u go visit the drs..

[Kimberley Mays]

Hello. I know this is an old post but I'm hoping someone will see this and help me out. I am suffering major anxiety since getting new puppy 1 week ago. I wanted him so bad, begged husband for months and now he is here I can't cope. I'm constantly anxious, shaking and crying. Can't eat or sleep. I really don't know what to do :(

[.Poppy.]

Hello. I know this is an old post but I'm hoping someone will see this and help me out. I am suffering major anxiety since getting new puppy 1 week ago. I wanted him so bad, begged husband for months and now he is here I can't cope. I'm constantly anxious, shaking and crying. Can't eat or sleep. I really don't know what to do :(

Hey. :hugs:Try to hang on, it does get better!

I had terrible, terrible anxiety a couple of years ago when I brought my youngest dog home. I've had dogs for years and always had some new puppy anxiety, but this particular pup had some issues (not normal puppy stuff) and he wouldn't go near anyone but me, so I was exhausted and couldn't get a break.

He still has issues but he's come so far and I can't imagine life without him at this point. I used to fantasize about giving him away; now I miss him terribly even when I go to work!

I suggest two things: 1) build up a network of people that you can pass your pup off to when you need a break. Friends, family, doggy daycare, etc. 2) sign up for some puppy kindergarten classes! They'll give you all sorts of useful tips and I promise you, when you see people fawning over your little pup you will have such a happy sense of pride.

You'll pass through this rough patch and you'll see that life with a dog is a bright thing, really. You just need to up the self-care for now.

[Kimberley Mays]

Thank you for the reply.i have read loads about people feeling the same and being ok with there dog in the end. I just can't see a way through. This anxiety is constant and unbelievable. Talk of returning the puppy is breaking my husbands heart as they have really bonded. I just don't know how I'm suddenly going to feel ok again. I'm off work for 2 weeks and can't go back acting like this. I'm a wreck.

[Bigboyuk]

Ahh the puppy blues for me it wasn't as much as SA but did have Anxiety problems re training my puppy will they listen will they pick the new the new things I was training them and gradually it all came good :) I can recommend a very good product which was actually developed for us humans (can also be used safely on dogs too) It's Called Rescue Remedy and is totally natural product safe,none habit forming and no side effects too it's available at all Holland and Barrats stores, and on online from the NMP shop too I swear by it :) HTH! Enjoy your 2 weeks off and get bonding with your new puppy! What breed is she/he?

[Kimberley Mays]

Hi, thank you for the reply. I have just bought some kalms tablets hoping they take the edge off. He is a cockapoo called Roary. He is lovely, and my husband and kids adore him. I'm just a mess wondering how much longer I can feel like this.

[Bigboyuk]

Hi, thank you for the reply. I have just bought some kalms tablets hoping they take the edge off. He is a cockapoo called Roary. He is lovely, and my husband and kids adore him. I'm just a mess wondering how much longer I can feel like this. You are welcome :) beautiful! Hoping the tablets help, if they don't try the Rescue Remedy it's good!! Cheers