jamhot
20-01-16, 21:46
I came across this forum a few days and I'm feeling like sharing/venting might garner some peace of mind and also advice.
I've had a bump behind my ear for probably five years and saw my GP about it (to be told it was nothing), but recently I've started obsessing over it. An inane comment from a colleague at work a few months ago about something similar on their body has turned into full blown panic in the weeks proceeding Christmas because I thought the bump had got bigger.
The bump itself is similar to what has been described in forum posts here before, sort of round, 1cm across and rubbery - not hard and not soft - almost like a small contact lens under my skin. It's sort of locked in place because of the position it is behind my ear, but it isn't unmovable. And it seems to get bigger the more I prod, and shrinks if I leave alone for a few hours.
I work at an NHS organisation so naturally I've bugged three doctors to take a look. The first was unconcerned, said it was probably a cyst or enlarged node but nothing to worry about, especially as I wasn't ill and had had it for years. The second was similar, but sensing my distress said it might be better to see my GP and perhaps have a blood test for complete peace of mind. The third didn't prod or poke but told me how unlikely it was that it was anything serious, that some people have enlarged nodes that can be felt and just try to leave it alone.
I went to my GP (count: four doctors at this point) who felt the bump, felt around it, felt my neck, under my chin, looked into my mouth and also in my ears and declared I had a cyst. He said it was nothing to worry about, don't touch it and to leave it alone. I mentioned the other GP's recommendation and he believed I did not need a blood test.
This kept me from the edge for probably about two days but I've slowly crept back into full blown panic. Google has been a cynical companion and it feels like I've started inventing symptoms like pain above the area of the bump and below it. I can't tell if it's actually pain or not, but conveniently it only comes around 7pm at night when I'm back from work and my mind starts to shift to the 'what ifs'.
Feeling like this is driving me mad. I'm constantly battling with my irrational anxieties and the reality of the situation. Four qualified and experienced GPs wouldn't ignore me if it was anything serious and would have picked something up, but why can't I relax? I keep prodding the bump making it increase and decrease in size, giving into the temptation of internet searches and I just feel awful.
Any tips on dealing with this? I've got form for health anxiety (started around 16, now I'm 25) so the rational part of my brain is telling me I'm fine, but I still can't beat it.
I've had a bump behind my ear for probably five years and saw my GP about it (to be told it was nothing), but recently I've started obsessing over it. An inane comment from a colleague at work a few months ago about something similar on their body has turned into full blown panic in the weeks proceeding Christmas because I thought the bump had got bigger.
The bump itself is similar to what has been described in forum posts here before, sort of round, 1cm across and rubbery - not hard and not soft - almost like a small contact lens under my skin. It's sort of locked in place because of the position it is behind my ear, but it isn't unmovable. And it seems to get bigger the more I prod, and shrinks if I leave alone for a few hours.
I work at an NHS organisation so naturally I've bugged three doctors to take a look. The first was unconcerned, said it was probably a cyst or enlarged node but nothing to worry about, especially as I wasn't ill and had had it for years. The second was similar, but sensing my distress said it might be better to see my GP and perhaps have a blood test for complete peace of mind. The third didn't prod or poke but told me how unlikely it was that it was anything serious, that some people have enlarged nodes that can be felt and just try to leave it alone.
I went to my GP (count: four doctors at this point) who felt the bump, felt around it, felt my neck, under my chin, looked into my mouth and also in my ears and declared I had a cyst. He said it was nothing to worry about, don't touch it and to leave it alone. I mentioned the other GP's recommendation and he believed I did not need a blood test.
This kept me from the edge for probably about two days but I've slowly crept back into full blown panic. Google has been a cynical companion and it feels like I've started inventing symptoms like pain above the area of the bump and below it. I can't tell if it's actually pain or not, but conveniently it only comes around 7pm at night when I'm back from work and my mind starts to shift to the 'what ifs'.
Feeling like this is driving me mad. I'm constantly battling with my irrational anxieties and the reality of the situation. Four qualified and experienced GPs wouldn't ignore me if it was anything serious and would have picked something up, but why can't I relax? I keep prodding the bump making it increase and decrease in size, giving into the temptation of internet searches and I just feel awful.
Any tips on dealing with this? I've got form for health anxiety (started around 16, now I'm 25) so the rational part of my brain is telling me I'm fine, but I still can't beat it.