Dc1980
20-01-16, 22:44
Evening all.
I've been loitering in the darkness for a while but ol' pal anxiety has come to visit me again. I know it's him as the usual symptoms have arose.
The pains, the tenseness, the feeling faint, a night's sleep that isn't complete without waking up at least once every 2 hours and a new one now which is twitching!
The thing is, I really feel like a corner has been turned. I've not Googled anything once. I know what this is, I know the reasons why it's come about and now I'm just letting it do it's thing. Granted it's not going away into the darkness to occasionally nudge me like it usually does (it's been here for getting on for a month now) but I actually feel empowered for once rather than running scared from it and letting it take over me.
I don't know how to look at this, I actually feel like I'm for once winning a battle. I have a friend with a terminal brain tumour and no way could I associate this with how he is. Maybe this is the connect now and the rational thinking I needed (which typing out makes me sound so selfish) but in a way I just would never say to him "oh I think I'm heading in your direction because I've felt a bit faint and had tension headaches". At best it's a piss take, at worst I would expect my friends to turn their back on me for being so disrespectful.
I'm typing this right now feeling like I've done ten rounds with Tyson, I'm barely sleeping, I'm up and down tired and awake during the day but do you know what? I'm ready for it this time and I'm not going anywhere near those dark places where I head off for the office of Dr Google again. He should be struck off the list.
Sorry, I just thought I'd check in and just hope that this is some sort of bright light for someone feeling crappy and in the same position as me right now.
I've been loitering in the darkness for a while but ol' pal anxiety has come to visit me again. I know it's him as the usual symptoms have arose.
The pains, the tenseness, the feeling faint, a night's sleep that isn't complete without waking up at least once every 2 hours and a new one now which is twitching!
The thing is, I really feel like a corner has been turned. I've not Googled anything once. I know what this is, I know the reasons why it's come about and now I'm just letting it do it's thing. Granted it's not going away into the darkness to occasionally nudge me like it usually does (it's been here for getting on for a month now) but I actually feel empowered for once rather than running scared from it and letting it take over me.
I don't know how to look at this, I actually feel like I'm for once winning a battle. I have a friend with a terminal brain tumour and no way could I associate this with how he is. Maybe this is the connect now and the rational thinking I needed (which typing out makes me sound so selfish) but in a way I just would never say to him "oh I think I'm heading in your direction because I've felt a bit faint and had tension headaches". At best it's a piss take, at worst I would expect my friends to turn their back on me for being so disrespectful.
I'm typing this right now feeling like I've done ten rounds with Tyson, I'm barely sleeping, I'm up and down tired and awake during the day but do you know what? I'm ready for it this time and I'm not going anywhere near those dark places where I head off for the office of Dr Google again. He should be struck off the list.
Sorry, I just thought I'd check in and just hope that this is some sort of bright light for someone feeling crappy and in the same position as me right now.