New Issue.

[frazm88]

Hi everyone.

Over the past month or two I've been texting a female, we've been on two dates and have a third arranged for tomorrow.

My anxiety in the past week has propelled to new levels, I constantly have a knot in my stomach thinking that I'm going to screw this up and she'll find someone better than me, that doesn't have these self esteem issues.

I find myself double checking my texts, anxiously waiting for a reply, I fee pathetic.

Has anyone experienced anything similar and if so how did you get over it?

Thanks

Fraser

[Oosh]

So you have an underlying anxiety and insecurity that you're "not good enough".
Based on what criteria ?

She's human right ?
So she will have a degree of insecurity about aspects of herself just like you and will feel a bit weary about getting close to someone who may hurt her, just like you. So her criteria for you being a relative success are that you are a decent bloke who isn't going to reject her because of her insecurities or treat her badly.

Well you're a decent bloke right ?
You can probably fulfill the above criteria and add a bit more to that too ?
Well you're going some way to realising you're good enough. And you're doing that because you're taking a closer and more realistic look at who she is and who you actually are. Take her down off the pedestal with the sky high standards and lift your own ideas about yourself and what you can offer up a bit (lot).

You're actually very much capable of offering her the simple things she'd be pleased with. Now performance anxiety can lower and being a lot more relaxed you can function better and enjoy yourself.

[frazm88]

So you have an underlying anxiety and insecurity that you're "not good enough".
Based on what criteria ?

She's human right ?
So she will have a degree of insecurity about aspects of herself just like you and will feel a bit weary about getting close to someone who may hurt her, just like you. So her criteria for you being a relative success are that you are a decent bloke who isn't going to reject her because of her insecurities or treat her badly.

Well you're a decent bloke right ?
You can probably fulfill the above criteria and add a bit more to that too ?
Well you're going some way to realising you're good enough. And you're doing that because you're taking a closer and more realistic look at who she is and who you actually are. Take her down off the pedestal with the sky high standards and lift your own ideas about yourself and what you can offer up a bit (lot).

You're actually very much capable of offering her the simple things she'd be pleased with. Now performance anxiety can lower and being a lot more relaxed you can function better and enjoy yourself.

Thanks Oosh,

I guess my insecurities have only arisen on the back that I think she is too good looking for me and that makes me think she may find someone else.

In terms of treating her well and being a decent bloke, I believe I am and will go out my way to prove that to her.

I want to enjoy this and not be sitting waiting on a reply from a text, when she's already admitted to me that she's terrible at replying. To be fair she always eventually gets back to me. It just the irrational thinking I've taken on as a habit.

[TalkTonight]

Hi frazm

I've always believed that one of the most incredible aspects of being in love is finding someone who recognises qualities in ourselves that we're oblivious to.

She sees something in you that you don't. And it's for that reason that she's dating you for a third time (very promising indeed) rather than looking elsewhere.

Have heart and trust that you have everything you need to keep this lady interested.