Fear of Being Alone

[TalkTonight]

Good Afternoon Everyone

Does anyone else's anxiety intensify when home alone?

It's not primarily a conversational need. I'm comparatively calm so long as there's another human in the house. I cannot fathom why I'm so ill at ease in my own company. Others seem to enjoy me!

Insight from anyone with a similar idiosyncrasy would be much appreciated as I feel a tad absurd.

[Lan69]

I was really scared of being alone
I used to sit on the doorstep waiting for my son to come home from visiting his friends. When he went to college I would be scared until his return
It does get better, I'm fine being on my own now

[TalkTonight]

Thank you for your swift response Lan.

May I ask, did the fear abate spontaneously or were there specific techniques that you employed?

Also, what do you imagine drives this fear in the first place?

[Lan69]

My fear was of me collapsing or fainting and no one would be there to help me
I think I just started feeling stronger on the medication and trying to do things to help pass the time...walking, going to shop and watching television

[jadedreams]

I get this too. I am afraid of being alone both because of my anxiety and intrusive thoughts. I am ok for shorter periods now, but too long and I get more anxious.

[Carnation]

I am like this too and I am worse alone in the house.
It is the fear of no-one being there if I was to collapse or faint.
I got better and faced it, but now I am in a relapse, I have gone back to the old fears again. I know it can be done, but the 'Fear' becomes the phobia, so I think little steps forward and increasing it gradually is the answer. Unfortunately for me, my 'blip' is too severe to do that. It also depends what you have going on in your life and your circumstances. I think some sought of 'safety net' will help too.

[TalkTonight]

Thank you all very much for your responses.

Interesting how the fear of fainting is a common theme. Personally, I feel a profound sadness whenever I'm alone for longer than I'm comfortable. It's the dread of that impending low that impels me to actively avoid being alone as far as is practical (I don't join couples in restaurants uninvited or employ any other such extreme measures!).

I'm glad I'm not alone (oh the irony) in feeling this however I'm sorry others have to endure too.

[Magic]

I am ok on my own in the house and outdoors.
There was a time when I could not do this.
It really depends on ones circumstances.
I hope that all things work out better for you all x

[Carnation]

I think there is a depression factor involved in this too.

[TalkTonight]

Thank you Magic.

I suspect there is some truth in that Carnation. When I'm the throes of depression I feel alone irrespective of where I am or who I'm with.

[gregcool]

When i moved into my flat over a year ago after splitting with my wife i felt very lonely and isolated..but in time you adapt and get used to it..now i couldnt imagin anyone living hear with me..i love my own space but do miss not having someone in my life

[Carnation]

It's strange, because I am better when there are people are around, but I don't want to be sociable with them; that can make me anxious too. I am ok with a 5 minute chat, but I become anxious and trapped if it is anything more.
I am also better when it is sunny and light. I'm better in the morning than night-time and I am better when I have lots to do. :shrug:

[TalkTonight]

Hi greg

I too miss being in a relationship. There's too much space in my life, both physically and metaphorically.

Carnation... I am also brighter in the sun and in the morning. These long winter nights do little to buoy my mood or enhance my motivation.

[Emmakatie1027]

I guess we feel more secure with others around and get comfort and reassurance from them. Once you learn to relax your fears start to go away otherwise fear has control over you.

[oxford74]

hi, I always thought I loved my own company until I separated from my wife...I would just come home from work and go straight to bed and it took me a few months to realise my depression was a huge factor, I wasn't scared of being alone I was scared of having no one to talk to about how I felt, my ex-wife has been amazing and so have some really close friends, it is so easy to isolate yourself when you're depressed but make the effort to speak to people, to go out or to occupy yourself in a constructive way