Trapped in a viscous circle

[Town.paul83]

Hi,
I feel a bit trapped in a horrible situation, just under two weeks ago I woke up early and started thinking about minor issues at work (pretty usual as I do have a major tendency to overthink and fear the worst) but all of a sudden I was heaving without being sick. Around 20 minutes later I felt everything had gotten on top of me and broke down in front of my parents and then had a full blown anxiety attack (irregular breathing, couldn't feel hands, felt as though nearly passing out).
I had been promoted to manager at work in early January rather than administrator (out of necessity for the company rather than my desire to get promoted so I'm not sure if the extra responsibility just tipped me over the edge)
My doctor told me to take a few days off due to performance anxiety and have me diazepam, these calmed me down but when it came to going back to work I was dry heaving and felt near to a panic attack, my gp signed me off for a week with work related stress but since then I have been having severe bouts of dry heaving frequently every day. Work are being understanding but I am in a responsible position and the thought of what they perceive me to be is an added worry, has anybody ever been in a similar situation?
Thanks

[Lucinda07]

Very sorry to hear that you are feeling so ill/afraid.
Are there any specific issues at work which trouble you.
Perhaps some training or extra support is required. Have you been thrown in the deep end? Are there any tasks which could be delegated?
Colleagues at work may be thinking - Thank Goodness I'm not the only one who feels stressed! Provided they are respectful & polite, their opinions are not important. Maybe you are just feeling low & inadequate & giving yourself a hard time.
I'm sure other NMP members will have other views to offer. Terry is usually good at offering workplace advice. Hope things improve.:)

[Chocolateface]

Hi

I too get work related anxiety and know how hard it can be to go there every day and not feel good about it.

Your managers obviously thought you could do the job you are now in otherwise they wouldn't have given it to you. Is there anything specific that is causing this or just generally the responsibility of the job?

Can you go on any training courses to help you learn more or have more coaching yourself to cope with the job better. All jobs take time to learn and you need to give yourself that time to learn this one.

Hope you feel better about it soon

Clare

[MyNameIsTerry]

I think it is the extra responsibility here. Management can mean a period of adjustment to get used to the difference in role and having responsibility for others as well as being responsible for them to those above you and then there are the direct reports and targets.

It's hard to offer practical advise without knowing a bit more about what you were worrying over. There is every chance it is just the overthinking that has made you catastrophize and talking about it may help you work through it with people on here. We tend to have a problem whereby we look at the overall picture rather than breaking it down into clearer "micro steps". This is what we are told to do in therapy and it also works in business, break processes down into the steps, plan in steps, etc. There are many ways to do it.

What might be a good idea is a bit more direct support from your line manager or have an experienced buddy manager that you can turn to. This is all new and you never even applied so it's a bit of a shock and having a trial period where you get extra support is often helpful for new managers. This could also be a good way for your phased routine so you take on certain responsibilities at first and more are phased in as you have been back longer.

Thanks for having faith in me, Lucinda :flowers:

[Lucinda07]

Many of us rely on you Terry!:)