Ronan23
25-01-16, 17:50
Feel like my life is going around in circles at this stage. I had a headache in the back of my head when I was 16 or 17, and decided to google what might be the cause. I was horrified to see brain aneurysm as one of the possibilities. I promptly went to the doctor, was sent for a CT angiogram (a test that looks at the artieries of the brain). And everything was clear.
Eight years later, I'm now 25 years of age and going through the exact same fear. I spent a whole night on the internet last night reading about brain aneurysms. I convinced myself that because my headaches are localized to one side of the head, it could be a warning sign of a growing aneurysm.
It's so annoying because I love life, yet I spend so much of it in a constant state of fear. I think the specific fear of brain aneurysm is the lack of control I have over it. I might just have one and be dead within seconds. Other things like heart disease I can control to an extent, but aneurysms just kill you on the spot like that. It freaks me the **** out.
After my results came back clear, I was ok for a couple of years and then I began to focus on other things that can cause sudden death such as cardiac arrythmia and other heart related issues. I had the whole gamut of tests done and nothing was wrong.
I spent all last night debating going to the ER. I eventually fell asleep. Now that I'm awake again I'm thinking maybe I should just go and get tested. But I'm sick of spending my life either thinking about things that will kill me or wanting to get tested. eight years after my fear started I am back to where it all began.
I'm such a messed up individual who appears quite normal on the outside. But the things that go on in my head are ruining my life. I don't know if anyone could offer me words on here or if anyone can empathize with my fear, but it felt good to write this out anyway. I can't tell anyone about it because they will think I'm bat-**** crazy.
It's kind of ironic because I have a friend who suffers from paranoia and when he talks about what goes through his head I think "that is ridiculous". But if another person knew what went through my head, they would think the exact same thing. Thanks for reading anyway.
Eight years later, I'm now 25 years of age and going through the exact same fear. I spent a whole night on the internet last night reading about brain aneurysms. I convinced myself that because my headaches are localized to one side of the head, it could be a warning sign of a growing aneurysm.
It's so annoying because I love life, yet I spend so much of it in a constant state of fear. I think the specific fear of brain aneurysm is the lack of control I have over it. I might just have one and be dead within seconds. Other things like heart disease I can control to an extent, but aneurysms just kill you on the spot like that. It freaks me the **** out.
After my results came back clear, I was ok for a couple of years and then I began to focus on other things that can cause sudden death such as cardiac arrythmia and other heart related issues. I had the whole gamut of tests done and nothing was wrong.
I spent all last night debating going to the ER. I eventually fell asleep. Now that I'm awake again I'm thinking maybe I should just go and get tested. But I'm sick of spending my life either thinking about things that will kill me or wanting to get tested. eight years after my fear started I am back to where it all began.
I'm such a messed up individual who appears quite normal on the outside. But the things that go on in my head are ruining my life. I don't know if anyone could offer me words on here or if anyone can empathize with my fear, but it felt good to write this out anyway. I can't tell anyone about it because they will think I'm bat-**** crazy.
It's kind of ironic because I have a friend who suffers from paranoia and when he talks about what goes through his head I think "that is ridiculous". But if another person knew what went through my head, they would think the exact same thing. Thanks for reading anyway.