My Journey - the end of the tunnel is in sight

[oldtime]

Hi I'm Mark,

I was diagnosed with Health Anxiety in 2009 following a culmination in events that lead to a complete emotional and nervous breakdown.

My high was in August 2008 when I holidayed in California with my family, I was so fit then I run every morning, one morning I ran up to the top of a 1000 metre summit with spectacular views over the Sierra Nevada mountain range.

My low was at Halloween 2009 when I woke up and thought that I was dying. In bed at night my vision faded and I could hear a buzzing in my ears, I struggled back to consciousness and jolted awake with an intense feeling of terror, I felt I had pulled back from the brink of death. My wife called for an ambulance, when the ambulance arrived they checked my blood oxygen level and observed that I was hyperventilating but had nothing else wrong with me.

Next post - Physical Symptoms take over my life.

[uru]

Are you doing well now?

[sl1nky]

Have you seen your GP about sleep apnea? Many people are unaware they even have it. I assume that has made you scared to sleep, I've had the same thing, it could of been something as simple as a heart palpitation, which are completely harmless, you could of even just slipped into REM sleep and suddenly re-awoke from an outside noise which you'd had not even of registered because you was still half asleep. Think of it this way, do you know the meaning of life? Does anyone know the meaning of life? No. So you shouldn't assume the worst case scenario, or that your going to die in your sleep. Go see your GP see if you can arrange to be monitored in your sleep, although this is only reassurance, so if nothing is found, accept it and look to re-wiring your brain to think more positively.

[PlantsForHire]

Hmm. That event while you were sleeping sounds like sleep paralysis or like what s1nky said. Either way it is completely harmless. By the way congratulations on that achievement! My goal is to run a marathon but sometimes it feels like such a distant goal because of my HA. But I will get there eventually!

[oldtime]

Urusainaa, thank you for asking I am doing very well now. I feel to all intents and purposes pretty normal and very happy.

I hope that by telling the story of my journey here I can help other sufferers to follow a similar path and regain control of their lives.

---------- Post added at 17:27 ---------- Previous post was at 17:22 ----------

Plants for Hire, I have run one marathon, my preferred distance was 10k or half marathon. A full marathon takes a lot of training and is a mental as well as physical achievement. I was completely drained of energy at the end!

I did not have sleep apnea it turned out to be a phobia of falling asleep:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypnophobia

I'll explain in my next post.

[oldtime]

Hypnophobia is a fear of falling asleep, its the fear of that feeling of losing consciousness that jolts you back awake. I thought that I would never sleep again.

Back to 2009 after my insomnia was broken by Zopiclone. I found Zopiclone to be quite addictive, I really liked taking it, just 30 mins after swallowing the tablet I was gone to the world and would remain knocked out for 6 hours. I slowly reduced my dependency by taking the tablet every other day and then only after a stressful day. There were some weird withdrawal effects like the whole world was fuzzed out and buzzing, this could have been sleep deprivation who knows.

During the remainder of 2009 I became withdrawn and somewhat agoraphobic, in that I would hide in my room and felt extreme anxiety when leaving the house. Gradually this improved so that I could take short walks.

I had a huge number of anxiety symptoms:

Racing Heart for little exertion
Feelings of fear for no reason
Numbness down my left side
Dizzyness
De-personalisation
Pain
A feeling that my nerves were electric
Constipation
IBS
Frequent urination with pain
Feeling really unwell
Dry throat
Difficulty swallowing
Obsessive pulse checking
Palpitations - frequent ectopic
It goes on and on.

I started to search for an explanation:

Was I deficient in some vitamin / supplement? I tried everything:
Magnesium
Zinc
Sorbitol
Vit B-complex
Ginseng
Camomile
Green tea
Vit C
Omega 3

I researched health anxiety on the internet and realised that this was my condition.

I got tested for lots of things, until my Doctor told me: NO MORE TESTS Thank god he was right.

My doctor gave me a plan of action:

If I have a new alarming symptom, try to wait 2 weeks before making a doctors appointment.

Stop asking for medical tests:

Medical tests give temporary re-assurance but it does not last. They are part of an anxiety behaviour of constantly seeking reassurance.

Medical tests re-enforce the belief that something is wrong with you.

It is a slow process, it took me two years to progress from calling my doctor every few days to seeing my doctor once every 6 months.

Avoid looking for explanations or solutions. This perpetuates and fuels the anxiety. If anxiety could be helped by a simple supplement then doctors would know about it and prescribe it. Having said this Camomile tea is an nice calming drink especially with a little honey at night.

I was eventually prescribed an effective medication combination:

Citalopram + Mirtazapine (It worked for me very well)

By the end of 2010 I was able to return to a near normal life, but my anxiety was not cured, it was still there ready to rear its ugly head randomly or at times of stress.

Next post - the very slow recovery from 2010 - 2015