Does this sound familiar?

[Worry_wort]

From the outside my life must look so rosy. Two great kids, loving husband and family, own house, money in the bank. No worries at all really.
However from the inside of me things seem a little bit different. Have you ever seen a swan swimming upstream, well that’s me. To most people I appear calm on the surface but what they don’t realise is underneath I'm paddling like mad. Trying to stay afloat, trying not to sink, trying not to drown.
Worry consumes me each and every day. My brain never rests, constantly churning new worries, old worries basically any worry it can. It never stops, it never relents, it's always wins.
I hide my secret well apart from close friends and family. From them I can not hide the tears, sadness and general torment in which I live on a daily basis. They all love me dearly but they just don't “get it”. I don't “get it” either so how can I ever hope to explain it to them. How do you explain that a tiny part of you knows that you’re irrational but that part never wins, it's always beaten down by the monster that is anxiety.
Unfortunately I have a couple if other delightful traits. The prison that is perfectionism. Not near perfection, but absolute, no compromise perfection. Not only do I bestow this gift of perfectionism on myself but I grant it to all around me. I expect everything to be perfect, and if I know it's not going to be perfect then I don't bother doing it at all. Which leads nicely on to my third trait, procrastination.
Procrastination is like being stuck in quicksand, but you can maybe see a way out. Do you take it, do you risk it? No you stand their slowly sinking for fear that the alternative action could be worse. So rather than do something wrong you don't move, you stay completely still, never moving forward, always putting off decisions. But in reality you are still slowly sinking, being consumed by the sand, but the fear of the unknown is a greater risk, the greater evil so you just stand there and sink.
I feel completely helpless, overwhelmed and useless. Does anybody else feel like this?

[beatroon]

I'm sure many of us can relate to how you're feeling! The thing about anxiety is that it strikes anyone, regardless of their situation. You could be a zillionaire and still be incredibly anxious!!

I think one of the difficult things about anxiety is that it can be hard to explain to others. There is a difference between 'being a bit anxious' and it interfering with your normal functioning, which it sounds like it may be doing for you.

One positive thing is that you sound as though you have identified some of the traits that are giving you problems, the perfectionism and the procrastination. These are things which CBT might help you with, or some other form of treatment. It might be worth considering getting some help, if your anxiety is impacting you to this extent.

I also wanted to say that being anxious isn't something to be ashamed of or to hide - it is an illness like any other. If you had a broken leg, you wouldn't want to hide that from people! In my opinion, it's always worse if you are trying to pretend it isn't there, so it may be that if you can be open about it, you may feel better.

Wishing you lots of luck,

Beatroon

[uru]

Great description! Using this website is a kind of procrastination, isn't it?

[ana]

I understand how you feel. Anxiety doesn't choose it's victims, and there are plenty of people out there whose lives are less than perfect, but suffer with no anxiety. The kind of live you lead isn't a prerequisite for an anxiety disorder. What matters is that you recognise and acknowledge your feelings, and try and find a way to deal with them. :)