Wooly
27-01-16, 10:15
Hi All
This is my first time on this forum because I think I'm going to need some help getting through this year trying to cope with and help my husband with anxiety.
He has always suffered from anxiety but it used to be centred around social anxiety, this has improved greatly in the last few years and we have enjoyed a good period without it being an issue.
His anxiety now though has switched to our house - it is an older house with all the issues that come with that. It has a damp problem on the gable end which over 10 years has got worse affecting the kitchen. We have known that it is an issue that would need a lot of work so we had been putting it off.
However - In August we had a unrelated leak in the toilet plumbing which has sent my husband into a downward spiral of anxiety that is still going on now. We had that leak fixed very quickly although it did cause some damage on the ceiling below. Since that leak he has been constantly checking the plumbing, fixings, bath seals, woodwork, damp etc and as it is a old house he is often finding problems large or small. Each issue he finds brings on a panic attacks which can be all consuming.
One example was when he checked a bolt that fixs the toilet to the floor (not a very important one) it was so corroded it disintegrated. This caused a panic attack. It is out only toilet and even though it was still usable and safe he was convinced that it would fall through the ceiling. I had to drive him 15 miles to the nearest public toilets before bedtime, he then left extremely early for work in the morning after very little sleep to use their facilities.
Since August I think I have had to call out a plumber or workman at least 8/9 times. He also had a panic attack because he thought the damaged ceiling contained asbestos and would kill us. I agreed to have it tested - which for me was a huge gamble because I don't think he would have coped if it was confirmed - thankfully there was no trace - a big relief.
This has brought to a ahead that we do need to get the damp issues in the kitchen sorted. We had a survey in November and have contracted a company to to the work (a huge amount). All seemed well and positive because we were doing something conquer the big problem. However the work is not being done until the summer which is a long time away and my husband has now lost confidence in the company we are using after they made a small mistake on some of the work they were able to do in November.
His anxiety convincing him that the house is going to fall down, he hates the house and hates being in it. It is hard to convince him that many people have issues with their homes & all houses need regular maintenance and have problems. This is very hard as its our home, we can't sell until we fix the issues and I'm not sure I want to anyway.
I think what I'm looking for from this forum is some support as the next few months are going to be very stressful. I am self employed so it is always me that has to change my plans to sort out maintenance issues to relieve his anxiety, which is causing a lot of disruption and stress to my work - As I write this I am waiting at home for a plumber to look at another problem.
This is my first time on this forum because I think I'm going to need some help getting through this year trying to cope with and help my husband with anxiety.
He has always suffered from anxiety but it used to be centred around social anxiety, this has improved greatly in the last few years and we have enjoyed a good period without it being an issue.
His anxiety now though has switched to our house - it is an older house with all the issues that come with that. It has a damp problem on the gable end which over 10 years has got worse affecting the kitchen. We have known that it is an issue that would need a lot of work so we had been putting it off.
However - In August we had a unrelated leak in the toilet plumbing which has sent my husband into a downward spiral of anxiety that is still going on now. We had that leak fixed very quickly although it did cause some damage on the ceiling below. Since that leak he has been constantly checking the plumbing, fixings, bath seals, woodwork, damp etc and as it is a old house he is often finding problems large or small. Each issue he finds brings on a panic attacks which can be all consuming.
One example was when he checked a bolt that fixs the toilet to the floor (not a very important one) it was so corroded it disintegrated. This caused a panic attack. It is out only toilet and even though it was still usable and safe he was convinced that it would fall through the ceiling. I had to drive him 15 miles to the nearest public toilets before bedtime, he then left extremely early for work in the morning after very little sleep to use their facilities.
Since August I think I have had to call out a plumber or workman at least 8/9 times. He also had a panic attack because he thought the damaged ceiling contained asbestos and would kill us. I agreed to have it tested - which for me was a huge gamble because I don't think he would have coped if it was confirmed - thankfully there was no trace - a big relief.
This has brought to a ahead that we do need to get the damp issues in the kitchen sorted. We had a survey in November and have contracted a company to to the work (a huge amount). All seemed well and positive because we were doing something conquer the big problem. However the work is not being done until the summer which is a long time away and my husband has now lost confidence in the company we are using after they made a small mistake on some of the work they were able to do in November.
His anxiety convincing him that the house is going to fall down, he hates the house and hates being in it. It is hard to convince him that many people have issues with their homes & all houses need regular maintenance and have problems. This is very hard as its our home, we can't sell until we fix the issues and I'm not sure I want to anyway.
I think what I'm looking for from this forum is some support as the next few months are going to be very stressful. I am self employed so it is always me that has to change my plans to sort out maintenance issues to relieve his anxiety, which is causing a lot of disruption and stress to my work - As I write this I am waiting at home for a plumber to look at another problem.